


Twilight of the Dark Kingdom - Part 2

by sublimeperfectionland



Series: Twilight of the Dark Kingdom [2]
Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-19
Updated: 2015-11-19
Packaged: 2018-05-02 09:41:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 53
Words: 66,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5243585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sublimeperfectionland/pseuds/sublimeperfectionland





	1. The Time Traveler’s Husband

[Scene:  ???]  

[Zoi can’t see where he is since he has his eyes closed, but the air is salty. He can feel a coastal breeze, and hear seabirds, so he knows he’s near the ocean.  He can smell wine and hear masculine voices talking in a foreign language.]

Kunzite:  You can open your eyes now.

[Zoi opens his eyes and sees they’re in an open air tavern on the side of a hill.  No walls, just white marble pillars holding up a roof.  Beyond is a stone built city with more hills covered in Cyprus trees and citrus.]

[He and Kunzite are still wearing their normal clothes from school, but the people around him are dressed in togas or knee-length tunics and sandals.]

[Many of the girls in the tavern have garlands of leaves or flowers in their hair.  At first Zoi can’t help but notice that all the girls seem rather homely– with close-cropped hair, square faces, and broad shoulders, but on closer examination, he realizes that what he assumed were girls are actually young men wearing copious amounts of lipstick, rouge, and eye-liner.  There isn’t an actual female anywhere to be seen.]

[Zoi doesn’t bother to hide his disappointment.  When Kunzite told him he was going to take him somewhere extraordinary, he had no idea what to expect.  But given that it’s their honeymoon, he was expecting something a little more intimate and remarkable than a costume party in some seedy European gay bar.  The only remarkable thing Zoi can see is that nobody is looking at either him or Kunzite, in spite of their normal street clothes, and Kunzite’s stunning good looks.]

Zoi:  Sorry, Kunzite. I don’t know where we are, but since I have to guess, I’d say we’re at a toga party at some tourist trap in the middle of the Mediterranean.

[Kunzite laughs]

Kunzite:  You’re two-thirds right. We in a tourist trap in the Mediterranean, but you’ll have to be a little more specific.  [looks over his shoulder]  I’ll give you a clue.  These aren’t costumes.  We are in the past.

Zoi:  [blinks and looks around] We’re in the past?  You can travel through time?

Kunzite:  In a very limited and unpredictable fashion, yes.

Zoi:  But doesn’t that create paradoxes and things?

[Kunzite shakes his head.]  

[As a couple of people walk past, Kunzite holds his arm out to block them.  They do not slow down and instead pass through him like they are made of smoke.]

Zoi:  So this is a hologram?

Kunzite:  Not exactly.  We have traveled in time and everything you see is real, but we are viewing it from a different dimension.

[Zoi looks around.  Everything seems completely real, but not one person seems aware he and Kunzite are even there]

Zoi:  Why can we see them when they can’t see us?  

Kunzite: We are like ghosts from the future. These people are a part of our reality; we are not a part of theirs.  So we can see them, but not interact with them or make any changes. They, on the other hand, cannot sense our presence at all.

[Zoi bends to pick up a stone.  It feels real, but when he tries to lift it, it evaporates through fingers]

Zoi:  So I can’t take anything from here?  

Kunzite:  No.

Zoi:  That’s a shame, I’ve been collecting flower petals from all our trips so far.

[Kunzite conjures a rose with a single row of pink petals and a yellow center.]

Zoi: [accepts it with delight] Is there nothing you can’t do?

Kunzite:  There is quite a lot I can’t do, actually.  But eternal life, combined with a tremendous amount of mystical energy, fortified by thousands upon thousands of tomes on dark magic does tend to have its longterm benefits.

Zoi:  Can the other Shitennou open these portals into the past?

Kunzite:  No. Only me.  The others lack my sense of nostalgia.  [looks back and sighs]  It’s a pity I couldn’t get you here before the earthquake, but that time was so short and these portals are impossible to tune with such exact precision.

Zoi:  [narrows his eyes] You brought me here for an earthquake?

Kunzite:  No, to see something that stood here before the earthquake. [smirks]  Ready to guess what that might be?

Zoi:  [shrugs] I’m sorry, Kunzite, but I really have no idea where we are.

Kunzite:  That’s because you’re facing the wrong direction. Turn around.

[Zoi turns around and sees a stunning azure blue harbor filled with wooden ships with oars and square sails.  A huge crowd of people in tunics and togas are gathered. Some are looking up, most are looking down, and many have parchments out and are taking notes or drawing.]

Kunzite:  …A little more…

[Zoi turns a little more to his left and almost faints.]  

[For a moment his mind is unable to take in the image before him.  When it does he has to clasp his hands to his mouth and sinks to his knees in shock.  Kunzite embraces him from behind to hold him steady.]

[Zoi’s facing a fifty foot tall marble platform.  On top of which are two bronze legs, sheared off at the knee, with rusty girders sticking out of the top of them.  Lying on the ground at the base of the platform is the rest of the statue, broken into several pieces.  It bears an uncanny resemblance to the Statue of Liberty, except it is twice as big, and obviously male, since it has no clothing other than a crown of sunbeams.  A lifelike face is staring up at them and that head alone is almost twice as wide as Zoi is tall.]

Zoi: [frightened]  That’s impossible!

Kunzite: [nuzzles him] You’ve figured it out, then?

Zoi:  [tries to wake up since this can’t be anything but a dream] No!  I have no idea what this is!  

Kunzite:  Guess.

Zoi:  Some eccentric oil sheikh’s private island?

Kunzite:  That statue is not an imitation.

Zoi: [shakes his head vigorously]  I…I don’t know what this is.  I really don’t.

Kunzite:  Very well, tell me what this couldn’t possibly be.

Zoi:  The Colossus of Rhodes!

Kunzite: [conjures up the gift and hands it to him] I knew you could do it.

Zoi:  [spins around] But the Colossus of Rhodes is one of the Seven Wonders of the World!  It doesn’t exist anymore! It was melted down for scrap metal several thousand years ago!

[Zoi slowly begins to comprehend what Kunzite has done for him. Zoi grabs hold of Kunzite and looks at him with big worshipping eyes.]  

Kunzite:  [cups Zoi’s head in his hands and gazes into his eyes] Nobody else can give this to you.  Nobody.  Always remember that.

Zoi:  You didn’t need to do this… but thank you so much!

[They kiss for several minutes, while people dissipate to smoke and rematerialize as they walk though them.]

Kunzite:  I’m sorry.  I’m trying to be a gentleman, but I want to make love to you so badly right now…Should we find a room?

[Zoi looks at all the people walking around knowing they can’t see him doesn’t make Zoi any more comfortable since he can see them.]

Zoi:  I suppose we’d better.

Kunzite:  I know of a very pretty frescoed and mosaic summer palace with a green velvet bed owned by a prince who is between mistresses at the moment.  Or else a very gaudy room reserved for royalty done up in gold and black marble in a nearby bordello.  Both will be unoccupied.  Which would you prefer?

Zoi: Why chose?  Why not try both?

[Kunzite’s brows raise]

Zoi:  Do we have time for both?

Kunzite: [smiles] Oh, we have time.


	2. The Inlaws From Hell

[Scene: Saturday.  The Midori house.] 

[Chief Midori told Zoi to wear his suit to have dinner with the O’Sama’s. The trouble is, he was six inches shorter the last time he put it on. Fortunately, he’s only grown upwards, so the jacket almost still fits him.  With the cuffs rolled, it’s just a bit snug in the hips, chest, and shoulders.  He puts on a green silk shirt, a black tie, and a pair of matching slacks.]

[He bounds down the stairs to where Kunzite is waiting on the couch.]

Zoi:  Ok, I’m decent.

[Kunzite rises and pulls him close]

Kunzite: Wrong again. You are utterly indecent.  Nobody should look so tempting.  It’s not fair.

Zoi:  [grins]  Tempting? How? I can change.

Kunzite:  You are so absurd.

[Presses his lips to Zoi’s forehead, and trails his finger down his spine.  Zoi’s getting dizzy so he places his hands on Kunzite’s chest.]

Kunzite:  Shall I explain how you are tempting me?

[He touches his lips to Zoi’s and Zoi’s lips part to receive the kiss.  A few minutes into it Zoi passes out.]

Kunzite:  [alarmed]  Zoisite?

Zoi:  [opens his eyes]  You… made… me… faint.

Kunzite:  What am I going to do with you?  [supports Zoi’s weight and sighs]  So much for being good at everything.

Zoi:  That’s the problem.  You’re too good.  Far, far too good.

Kunzite:  [covertly checks Zoi’s ears for blood]  Do you feel sick again?

Zoi:  [giggles]  No, it wasn’t the same kind of fainting at all.  I don’t know what happened.  I think I forgot to breath.

Kunzite:  I can’t take you anywhere like this.

Zoi:  I’m fine.  Your family just wants to eat me anyway, so what difference does it make?

Kunzite: Are you afraid now?

Zoi:  Yes.

Kunzite:  Don’t be.

Zoi:  Won’t they be, well, surprised that you would bring someone… like me…home to meet them?  Do they know I know about them?  

Kunzite:  Oh they already know everything. They’ve taken bets, you know, on how long it will last.  I’d put my money of ‘forever’ but then I’d have no way of collecting my winnings. At any rate, we have no secrets in my family. It’s really not feasible, when we all have a thousand little ways to spy on one another.

Zoi:  [goes white in the face]  They’ve been spying on us?

Kunzite:  Trust me, they’re not that twisted.  Beryl could care less what goes on in anyone’s bedroom but her own, and the other two are being extra careful NOT to spy on us.

[Zoi giggles and Kunzite strokes the collar of Zoi’s shirt with his finger]

Kunzite:  I’m very partial to this color with your skin.

Zoi:  [swallows nervously] Look I’m trying hard not to think about what I’m about to do, so can we just go already?

Kunzite: Mmmmm [smirks a lecherous smirk, and Zoi gasps and slaps him on the shoulder.]

Zoi:  I meant seeing your family, you perv!

[Later:  They drive through a misty forest.  To a timeless, graceful, three story house.]

Zoi:  Wow.

Kunzite:  You like it?

Zoi: It has a certain charm.

Kunzite:  [Tugs on Zoi’s ponytail and chuckles]  Ready?

Zoi:  Not even a little bit—let’s go.

[Kunzite opens Zoi’s door for him and takes his arm]

Kunzite:  You look lovely.

[They walk hand in hand to the porch.  Zoi can tell that Kunzite feels his tension, because he is rubbing circles on the back of his hand with his thumb.]

[Kunzite opens the door for Zoi.]

[The inside of the house is very open, and set up to look like an old English study, complete with a huge ornate fireplace, a massive Turkish rug and antique walnut furniture. Jeddy and Neffy are playing billiards while Beryl is lounging on a leather divan sipping cocktails in a couture gown.  There is a skull of some seemingly alien creature over the mantle. Bookshelves with ancient tomes line most of the walls and a massive staircase dominates the west side of the room.

Kunzite:  [leads Zoi toward the staircase]  My husband and I going up to our bedroom to engage in marital relations.  We’ve only got a few hours before I have to bring him home, so I’m not to be bothered for any reason.

Neffy:  [in mock disappointment] You mean you boys aren’t having a sleepover?  And I was so looking forward to seeing your little buddy run around in his footie pajamas.

Kunzite: [doesn’t even slow down] Shut up.

[half way up the stairs a smoky naga ghost materializes in front of Zoi.]

Kunzite:  Zoisite, say hello to Mother.

Zoi:  Hello Dr. O’Sama.  It’s nice to meet you.  You have a very beautiful home.

Metalia:  Ssssslut!

Kunzite:  Be nice, Mother.

Metalia:  [flies about in coils of smoke around a terrified Zoi] Trrrramp!  Trrrrollop!  Sssstrrrrumpet!  You’rrrre nothing but a whorrrre!

Kunzite:  [doesn’t even slow down] I wish he were nothing but a whore.  I would have given him my business a long time ago.

Metalia: Kunzzzite!!!  Are you ssssaying you love thisss trrrained monkey morrrre than me!

Kunzite:  [sighs] Of course not, Mother.  You are everything to me.  He’s just a toy.

Metalia: He isss morrrre than yourrr toy! He isss yourrr whorrre!  A trrrrained monkey toy whorrrre!

[Kunzite turns around and leads Zoi back down the stairs, while Metalia continues to spiral around him hissing and screeching.  They walk past Beryl, Neffy, and Jeddy over to a grand piano.  He pulls out the bench and sits beside Zoi]

Kunzite:  Play.

[Zoi glares at him.  After a moment’s hesitation, he starts playing the Moonlight Sonata from memory.]

[Metalia pauses her shrieking to listen.  She drifts over the piano in the shape of a cloud of smoke with big red eyes losing herself to the music. And the song concludes she closes her eyes and resumes Naga form]

Metalia:  I sssuppossse yourrr toy monkey isss not completely without hisss usssessss.

[Metalia hisses at Zoi one final time and flies away]

[Zoi turns and sees Jeddy, Neffy and Beryl have gathered around the piano.]

Neffy:  Show-off.

Beryl:  Kunzite didn’t tell us you were musical.

Zoi:  Just a bit.

Kunzite:  I told you he’s far too modest.

Jeddy:  Play something else.

Kunzite:  Later.  I didn’t bring him here to put on a concert for you.

[He pulls Zoi away by the wrist back up the stairs.]

Zoi: [sulks bitterly] I’m just a toy, am I?

Kunzite:  [nods] A very beautiful toy my mother could crush underfoot as soon as the mood strikes her.

Zoi:  You said I’d be safe here.

Kunzite:  You are safe.  Mother is happy to see me happy.  This is just her way of let you know who is in charge here.

[They come to a door. While Kunzite unlocks it, Zoi is feeling peevish and isn’t sure he wants to go inside.  So when Kunzite gets the door open Zoi just stands with his arms crossed and his back to the wall.]

Zoi:  Take me home.  I’m not in the mood for this.

[Kunzite closes the door.]

Kunzite:  What happened to all your courage?  You were extraordinary this morning.

Zoi:  Yes, well I wasn’t just a trained monkey whore this morning.

Kunzite:  Hmm…it seems I’m going to have to tamper with your memory.

Zoi:  That doesn’t work on me, remember?

[Kunzite watches Zoi intently with humor in his eyes.  He places his hands on the wall on either side of Zoi, pressing his face close to his.]

Kunzite:  Now…what exactly are you so upset about?

[Kunzite fights back a smile as he touches his lips to the base of Zoi’s throat.]

Zoi:  Your mother called me a whore and you didn’t deny it.

Kunzite:  [murmurs against Zoi’s skin] And you’re still upset now?

Zoi:  Yes…because your mother called me a whore and you didn’t deny it.

[Kunzite brushes his nose against Zoi’s throat all the way to the point his chin]

Kunzite:  And now?

Zoi:  She called me a whore…no denial on your part.

Kunzite:  I believe I did deny it.

Zoi:  I believe you did not!

Kunzite:  [kisses his eyelids]  Zoisite, you don’t think I consider you my whore, do you?

Zoi:  No, but I think the rest of your family does.

[Kunzite chuckles against Zoi’s skin]

Kunzite:  Nobody thinks you’re a whore.  And who cares what they think?  I certainly don’t.  My mother doesn’t hate you.  Mother is an evil goddess who is trying to ensure you remain humbled in her presence.  

[Kunzite kisses down Zoi’s cheek stopping at the corner of his mouth]

Kunzite:  Do you really think I’d let anyone say anything so disrespectful if I knew you’d take it to heart?

Zoi:  Yes.  To keep her from eating me.

[Kunzite’s lips barely brush Zoi’s trembling lower lip]

Kunzite:  Mother won’t eat you.  She’s just being silly.  I wouldn’t have brought you here if there was even the slightest chance she would hurt you.

[Kunzite brings his lips close to Zoi’s]

Kunzite: Would I let anything hurt you?

Zoi:  No.

Kunzite:  You see?  There is nothing to be afraid of, is there?

Zoi:  [sighs] No.

[Kunzite grabs Zoi’s face and kisses him roughly.  Zoi’s still not in the mood, but Kunzite clearly is.]

Zoi:  [pulls away] Your family doesn’t like me.

Kunzite:  It’s a good thing you married me, not them… Your father doesn’t seem that fond of me, either, you know.

Zoi:  My father would act that way with any guy I dated.

Kunzite:  There you go…  Now imagine that your father is a half-starved cannibal and I taste like a hot fudge sundae… Now do you realize they are doing their best to behave themselves right now.

Zoi:  I taste like a hot fudge sundae?

Kunzite:  [kisses him] You taste better than a hot fudge sundae.

Zoi:  This must be torture for you.

Kunzite:  Hardly. You are my life now.

[The words are spoken with such heartfelt sincerity that Zoi feels himself melting.]

Kunzite:  Can I show you my room?

Zoi: [Not exactly enthused because he figures it must look like a dank mausoleum] I suppose.

[The inside of Kunzite’s room is very bright, very open, and very large. The back, south facing wall is filled with arched windows, topped with a stained glass window with a floral motif casting spots of colored light.  Behind it is a huge balcony covered with potted roses, with a view of a lawn, bare to a flowing river.  The furnishings, the walls, the thick carpet, the high beamed ceiling, and the massive bed are in in varying shades of white, setting off the colors of the rose petals scattered about.]

Kunzite:  Not what you expected, is it?

Zoi:  No.

Kunzite:  No coffins, no piled skulls in the corner, I don’t think I even have any cobwebs.  What a disappointment this must be for you.

Zoi:  It’s so light… so open.  Has it always looked like this?

Kunzite:  Of course not. I’ve had it completely renovated as a shrine to your beauty.  I wanted this to be a place where you can come and know how deeply cherished you are.  I can’t wait until the day you are able to spend the night with me here.

Zoi:  Thank you.

[There are tears in Zoi’s eyes and he dabs at them in embarrassment.]

[Kunzite touches the corner of his eye, catching one that he missed.  Then he kisses the spot he just touched, trailing his lips down Zoi’s face down to his own lips.  As he kisses him he pulls off Zoi’s jacket, then his tie.  He pushed Zoi against him harder as he undoes the buttons of Zoi’s shirt, then pulls his shirt from his shoulder and kisses his nipples, softly at first, but then with increasing hunger as he undoes Zoi’s fly. Zoi is becoming dizzy again.  It’s all too overwhelming. His mind is incapable of coherent thought, so Kunzite needs to prop him in place as he kneels down even further. ]

[Zoi comes out of it in a wave of sudden dismay.]

Zoi:  Oh, no.

Kunzite:  What?

Zoi:  I just realized how very far we are from the bed right now.

Kunzite: [doesn’t miss a beat] I can teleport, remember?

Zoi:  Oh.

[Zoi loses himself in a haze of white hot desire]


	3. Whatever Happened to Prince Endymion

[Scene: Later in the evening. Kunzite and Zoi come down the stairs, showered, fully dressed, and ready to leave. Neffy, Jeddy and Beryl are still lounging about. Zoi blushes when he sees them staring at him.]

Neffy: [swirling a snifter of brandy] Leaving already?

Kunzite: Just ignore him, Zoisite.

Neffy: Remember Kunzite, for a boy that size, the child seat has to face the back.

[Jeddy punches his arm]

Jeddy: Hey, I wouldn’t talk.  He isn’t any younger than Naru.

Neffy:  Yes, well I’m not screwing Naru, am I?  [he smiles]  Unless you count making her steal jewelry out of her mother’s shop as screwing her.

Zoi:  [stops and looks back at Neffy] You make Naru steal jewelry from her mother’s shop?

Neffy:  Made.  Past tense. It was a onetime thing.

Jeddy:  I don’t think he knows about the trophy case.

[Neffy grins from ear to ear]

Neffy:  Come over here.  I’ve got to show you my trophy case.

[Zoi’s curiosity and his desire to be accepted by Kunzite’s family win out over his sheer repugnance of Neffy, so he walks over to a ceiling high wooden cupboard where Neffy is standing.  Neffy opens it to reveal thousands of women’s necklaces on black velvet displays.]

Neffy: [points to a necklace with huge white diamonds] This one is my favorite.  It was sent to me by Catherine the Great for services rendered in the bedroom.

Zoi:  You slept with Catherine the Great?

Neffy:  Everybody slept with Catherine the Great.  [sighs fondly] What a nympho.

Jeddy: [to Zoi] I suppose we should warn you that Neffy’s interests in astrology extend into starfucking.

Neffy:  Here are a few others of note…  

[points to one with thousands of small diamonds] … Marie Antoinette …

[gold collar with emeralds] …Nefertiti, though I would have done her for a string of macaroni…  

[a pearl necklace with a pendant of a snake swallowing a man made of jewels] … Caterina Sforza, this one was a wedding gift she got from her first boyfriend, the pope…

[a jeweled pendant shaped like a phoenix]… Empress Cixi, I made her keep her socks on.  She kept wanting to show me her deformed feet, but I said no thanks …

[a chandelier style jeweled choker]… Cleopatra.  An absolute butterface, but by far the greatest lay the world has ever known…and my latest acquisition… 

[Points to a gorgeous ruby pendant the size of a walnut shell] … a fifty thousand dollar ruby stolen for me personally by the sweet and virtuous Naru Osaka.  Not quite as big of a feather in my cap as the others, but when I saw it in the window of her mother’s shop, I knew I had to have it.

Zoi:  [livid] You made Naru steal that necklace for you?

Neffy:  I didn’t make her steal the necklace.  I merely told her I had to leave town because I was supposed to deliver a necklace exactly like to it a bunch of very bad people.  

Zoi:  You leave Naru alone!

Neffy:  Don’t worry.  I’ve already gotten my necklace so I’m done with her…. The fool wanted me to take her out for a chocolate parfait, but I laughed in her face and told her I’m not into dating little girls so she ran away in tears.  

Jeddy:  [chuckles]  You know what the difference between Naru Osaka and Kleenex is?…Kleenex doesn’t follow you around for three days after you use it.

Zoi:  [livid] You need to give Naru the money to pay for that necklace!

Neffy:  You don’t really grasp the concept behind the trophy case, do you?

Zoi:  This isn’t like Naru at all!  What you just made her do is a serious felony! It’s going to break her mother’s heart when she discovers it’s missing! Naru’s probably hording every penny she can get her hands on, to pay her mother back!

Kunzite: [tugs Zoi’s arm] Come on.  Naru’s a big girl. Let her learn from her own mistakes.  This is none of your business.  Just like what you do is none of her business.

[Zoi leaves reluctantly. As they near the door, Metalia rematerializes in naga form]

Kunzite:  Say goodnight to Mother, Zoisite.

Metalia:  Hissss name isssn’t Zooooisssite, it’sssss Endymion the Sssssecond.

[Kunzite reacts as if he’s been hit and behind them Zoi can hear a sharp intake of breath.  Metalia hisses at Zoi and then vanishes.]

Zoi:  Who is Endymion?

[He turns to face everyone, but nobody answers]

Zoi:  [looks at Kunzite with sad eyes] Is he one of your former lovers?

[For a moment the room is still quiet]

[Then Neffy nods solemnly]

Neffy:  Yes, Endymion was one of Kunzite’s former lovers.

[Jeddy, Neffy, and Beryl all burst into laughter]

Jeddy:  Kunzite and Endymion?  Lovers?  Could you imagine?

Neffy:  I can imagine it very easily.  I just can’t imagine Endymion being a willing participant.

Zoi:  Who is Endymion?

Neffy: It’s a very long story.  [Sits on the couch and pats the place on the seat beside him]  Come over here and have a seat.

[Zoi looks up at Kunzite who nods.  They go over and sit in the couch.  Jeddy sits too. Beryl remains standing and drifts away a bit with an uneasy look on her face.]

Neffy:  Have you ever heard of Endymion from Greek Mythology?

Zoi:  Yes, he was a sleeping shepherd who was loved by the goddess of the moon. She granted him eternal youth, but since she was the goddess of virginity, and all she wanted was to watch him sleep, she cursed him to sleep forever, so he never woke up.

Neffy:  It wasn’t a myth.  It was a true story.  

Jeddy: The Endymion in question was one of Beryl’s bedslaves. The curse was Beryl’s punishment from Mother for trying to bring him back to life.

 


	4. History is Written By the Victors

[scene:  The couch at the O’Sama house.  Jeddy has just spoiled the ending of the tragedy of Selenity and Endymion]

Neffy:  Knock it off Jeddy.   Prince Endymion…Beryl, would you like to tell the story?

Beryl:  [catty smile] I would, but I’m still trying to live it down.

Neffy:  [To Zoi]  You asked who Endymion was.  Endymion was a bedslave.  One of Beryl’s favorites.  Unfortunately she lost her head a bit.  She dressed him in finery and took him everywhere like her little lap dog.  She doted on him so much we started to wonder which was the real slave.

[Neffy gives Beryl a look and Beryl makes a face at him]

Neffy:  At first we all found it pretty funny.  Until she brought him into our diplomatic negotiations with the White Queen, and he struck up a secret flirtation with the White Queen’s daughter.  Princess Selenity.

Zoi:  Wait…did you just say the princess’s name was “Selenity”?

Jeddy:  Oh, you’ve heard the story already?

Zoi:  [uneasy] No.

Neffy:  An odd name I’ll admit.  It’s a portmanteau of Selena and Serenity so in moon dialect it meant “serene moon goddess.”  She was a pretty thing.  Tall and leggy with long platinum blond pigtails.  Anyway, Endymion had this foolish princess convinced he was the Prince of the Earth.  

Jeddy:  Not one country, the entire Earth.  Beryl’s slaveboy told her he was prince of the entire Earth.  And the stupid fool at it up with a spoon.

Neffy:  We all thought the whole thing was pretty funny.  But we weren’t so amused when he stole all of our battle plans and gave them to the White Queen’s daughter.

[He glances at Beryl who makes a point of looking away]

Kunzite:  [strokes Zoi’s hair] The thing you have to understand is that we were attacking under the cover of a truce.  The White Queen had a Silver Crystal that had the power to destroy Mother and she intended to use it.  The attack was to get this Crystal away from her.  

Jeddy:   All those preparations, all those spells, all the horoscopes and auguries Nephrite had cast, all the best laid plans, undone by a prettyboy slave on the make with his gullible little princess.  

Kunzite: Victory had been assured, only because we had the element of surprise.  Once we discovered the betrayal, I had to move up our attacks, so we could take out her guardians before she had a chance to use the crystal.

Neffy:  I don’t know if you’ve noticed this about your man or not, but he’s not the most rational thinker when he’s backed into a corner. And believe me, his back was in a corner.  It all became very disorganized very quickly. The battle might have gone another way, had we not had those disgusting Blackmoon traitors working for us on the inside of the palace.  

Kunzite:  Still, the Silver Crystal, the prize we hoped to achieve, was destroyed by the White Queen the moment Mother tried to snatch it out of her hand.  The White Queen was killed and Mother was diminished, nearly to the point of death.

Jeddy:  Needless to say, Mother was furious.   She demanded Beryl deal with Endymion and Selenity personally.   Beryl did so.  Endymion and Selenity died cowering in each other’s arms.  

Neffy: All was forgiven. Until Mother discovered that Beryl has collected Endymion’s corpse and was using her healing magic to try to bring him back to life.  She said she knew he’d betrayed us, but she still loved Endymion, with his coal black hair and his sapphire blue eyes.  She told Mother that if she brought him back to life, she’d tamper with his mind and make him the most loyal soldier the Dark Kingdom has ever known.  Even this Mother was willing to overlook.  Until Beryl made the mistake of asking Mother for her help in resurrecting him.  

Jeddy:  Rule One of the Dark Kingdom:  NEVER ask Mother for a favor.

Zoi:  [looks at Kunzite] Really?

Kunzite:  [pets Zoi’s hair] We obey Mother.  Mother does not obey us.

Neffy:  Rule two:  If you are stupid enough to ask Mother for a favor, don’t ask her to bring someone back to life.

Kunzite:  Mother decides who lives and who dies.  

Jeddy:  Asking makes her assume you don’t understand that.  Not only will she not bring someone back to life, but she’ll curse you for your sheer audacity.

Neffy:  But in this case Beryl had incurred enough of Mother’s wrath that she was willing to make an exception.  She brought Endymion back to life, and granted him eternal youth….except she refused to restore the function to his brain.  So Beryl got her wish, but Endymion was a vegetable.  

Jeddy:  What was it Mother told Beryl? … oh, yeah …“Enjoying being married to your corpse husband.”

[Jeddy and Neffy burst into laughter] 

Beryl: [making a face] You’re lucky I’m over it.

Neffy:  Beryl had to feed Endymion, wash Endymion, change Endymion’s diapers… not personally, of course, she had servants.  Still. She could only stand about a week of that before she tossed him into a kiln and reduced him to a pile of ash so she could move on with her life.

Jeddy: After that, Beryl had the sense never to lose her mind over a man again.

Beryl:  I’m so over Endymion.  I don’t even remember what he looked like.

Zoi:  By any chance did he look like Mamoru Chiba?

Beryl:  No.  No he didn’t.

[Kunzite and Neffy’s eyes open wide and they start howling with laughter]

Neffy:  Yes he did!  He looked exactly like Mamoru Chiba!

Kunzite:  I knew there was another reason I couldn’t stand that guy.

Beryl:  [thinks about this and shudders] Oh, dear…  I’ve passed that guy in the hallways a thousand times and never looked at him once. All that fuss…

Neffy:  It just goes to show you what I’ve always known. Love is an illusion and a dangerous folly, and it’s to be avoided at all cost.

 


	5. This too shall pass

[scene:  Zoi’s bedroom.  Zoi is lying in bed on his belly with a plain box with a red ribbon on it. He unties the ribbon to reveal that the box is filled with photographs.  It’s the same box Kunzite gave him on his honeymoon, but there are new additions day by day.  Zoi doesn’t know if they appear by magic or if Kunzite drops them off personally while Zoi is sleeping.]

[He secret hopes the photos don’t appear by magic.]

[He reaches for a scrapbook. It’s got a silver cover, and on the front, done in black, is a big stylized heart with the words Z loves K appearing before a background of black roses.  He opens the book and flips through photos of himself and Kunzite and other mementos until he comes to a blank page and starts pasting in some of his latest additions to his photo collection.  Some in Hawaii, some in Mexico, some in Iceland, some in Turkey, some in Monaco, etc… ]

[They’ve been back to their private meadow few times, so Zoi has lot of photos from there as well, as well as some choice blossoms in his flower pressing kits.  Those go into the scrapbook as well.  He makes sure he has fresh flowers from every trip, or at the very least, a few wilted petals.]

[Not all of the photos find their way into the book.  The pictures from his wedding have their own special album. Some photos stay in the box. He finds them a bit unflattering or mundane.  A few of the really good ones of Kunzite go into frames.]

[Although all of the photos are tasteful, some make him blush just because of the memories they invoke.  He keeps those in his nightstand.]

[A few months have passed since his first visit to the O’Sama house and life is good.]  

[Zoi’s grades have dramatically improved. In the beginning he saw no long term relevance in maintaining a high GPA, so he studied only when he needed to do so to pass an exam. Now he’s obsessed with impressing Kunzite and his father, so he must get perfect scores on all his tests and assignment, treating each red X as a mark of dishonor.]

[He’s taken to hanging out with the gang at the Crown Center on Sunday afternoons.  He brought Kunzite once, but given that Mamoru and Naru are way too cold to him, and Minako is way too hot for him, the entire time he looked as if he wanted to bolt the door shut and massacre all the unsuspecting townfolk.  After that Kunzite made excuses and Zoi pretended to believe them.]

[On the other hand Chief Midori has warmed up to Kunzite completely.]  

[In the first few days when he came home to find Kunzite sitting in the kitchen talking with Zoi while Zoi cooked dinner, he treated his presence with detached formality.  He never listened well enough to realize Kunzite was helping Zoi with his studies. This continued until the day Chief Midori came home to see Zoi perched on Kunzite’s lap doing his trigonometry homework.]

Kunzite:  You made a mistake on question twenty-seven.  Can you see where it is?

[Zoi points to the page]

Kunzite:  No.

[Zoi points somewhere else]

Kunzite:  No guessing.

[Zoi reaches for his iphone, but Kunzite pushes it out of reach]

Kunzite:  No calculators.

Zoi:  We’re allowed to use calculators during the test.

Kunzite:  You’re not.  No calculators, no cheat sheets, no open book.  You’re going to master this.  Otherwise, you’ll just have to learn it all over again when you take calculus and physics.  

Zoi:  [sulks] What makes you think I’m going take calculus and physics?

Kunzite:  [gives Chief Midori a cautious look] If you intend to stay with me forever and ever, you’re mastering calculus and physics.  Otherwise you’ll be stuck doing parlor tricks like Jadeite.

Zoi:  [raises his brows]  You actually use calculus?

Kunzite:  I use calculus every day of my life.

Zoi:  [pushes the book away] In that case I want to learn calculus right now.

Kunzite:  [pulls the book back in front of Zoi] Let’s just get through trigonometry first.

[Zoi looks over his shoulder at his father.]

Zoi:  Hi dad.

Chief Midori: Something smells good.  What are you making for dinner.

Zoi:  Kunzite’s making us moussaka.

Chief Midori:  Kunzite cooking dinner for us?

Kunzite:  I want Zoisite to concentrate on his studies.

[Later they sit down to dinner]

Zoi:  What?  No salad?

Kunzite:  I don’t eat salad.

Chief Midori:  Me neither.

Zoi:  Well I do, you Neanderthals!

Chief Midori:  It won’t kill you to skip it just this once [tries the moussaka] Damn this is good.  

Zoi: [tries it and give Kunzite a sly smile] I’m a little disappointed.

Kunzite:  Why?

Zoi:  It would be nice to find one thing you didn’t do better than everyone else on the planet.

[Kunzite flashes a crooked smile leaving Zoi breathless]

Chief Midori:  You should open a restaurant. I had no idea you were such a good cook.  [claps Kunzite the shoulder]  I have admit, I was wrong about you, Kunzite.  

Zoi:  [mutters] Dad, don’t embarrass me.

Chief Midori: [ignores him] When I found out you were interested in my son, I assumed the worst.

Kunzite:  You’re his father.  It’s your job to assume the worst.

Chief Midori:  Still, it was unfair of me, and for that I apologize. I judged you, and my judgments had no basis in reality.  I thought you were only after one thing, but you’ve been nothing but a wholesome and positive influence on my boy. I hope I’ve never said anything to upset or offend you.

Kunzite:  [smiles] There is no reason for you to apologize. I was never offended.

[Not long after that Kunzite and Chief Midori spend more time together. They take to watching baseball on the couch while drinking beers. Eventually Zoi comes over and perches himself on Kunzite’s lap.  But baseball bores him so much he ends up falling asleep, with his head on Kunzite’s legs, with a throw pillow over his ear while Kunzite strokes his hair. At first this makes Chief Midori uncomfortable, but within a short time, he comes to accept that his son is involved in his first serious relationship.]

[Of course Chief Midori’s opinion would change pretty quickly if he knew of the marathon sessions of naughtiness that took place on Saturdays in Kunzite’s bedroom.]

[Saturday dinners at the O’Sama house had become a regular thing for Zoi, and of course he still wasn’t going over there to have dinner.  No sooner would the door to Kunzite’s bedrroom close than Zoi would shed his clothing and climb into bed without even thinking about it.]

[This time there is a small brown box on his pillow, about two inches tall and as wide as both hands, tied with a gold ribbon.]

Zoi:  For me?

Kunzite:  [Slips into bed with him] Of course.

[Zoi unwraps it and giggles to see four chocolate dipped strawberries.]

Zoi:  Yum.  [He nibbles on one and giggles and lies on his back]  They’re slightly frozen. I guess I’m going to have to eat these as slowly and suggestively as I can.

[Kunzite smiles and brushes Zoi’s hair from his face, but rather than watch Zoi eat the strawberry, he gazing adoringly into his eyes.]

Kunzite:  I love you, Zoisite.  It’s a poor excuse for what I’m doing, but it’s still true.

[Zoi blinks.  It’s the first time Kunzite has said those three little words.  He’s said it in other ways, and Kunzite might not even realize what that means to him, but Zoi’s heart is going pitter-pat.]

Kunzite:  I wish you could look into my mind, so you could know the joy I feel when I am with you.  

[Zoi finds himself mesmerized, the half-forgotten strawberry still clutched in his hand.]

Kunzite: Before I met you, I knew nothing about love.  I thought it was just some silly cliche invented by playwrights to pretend there is a force of goodness that can overcome evil.  Now I understand, I think, not just one form, but every type of love. Love IS more powerful than evil.  I care for you more than everything else in the world combined

Zoi:  [serious] I love you, too.

Kunzite:  I know you do. [kiss him lightly on the lips]  I’m not sure how I managed to be this lucky.

[Zoi is touched, but then realizes the strawberry is melting in his hand.  Kunzite sees where his eyes have darted to, and Zoi is afraid he has ruined the moment.]

[Kunzite smiles as he takes the strawberry from Zoi’s hand and feeds it to him.  Then he takes Zoi’s fingers one by one and sucks the chocolate from them, before kissing Zoi on the mouth.  Kunzite’s lips are hot in contrast the coldness of the strawberry.  Zoi is intoxicated, even before he felts Kunzite’s weight on top of him.]


	6. Enter Tybalt, Stage Right

Scene:  The O’Sama house.  Kunzite and Zoi are coming down the stairs at the O’Sama house.  It’s nearly ten at night. Chief Midori has extended his curfew to reward Zoi for his good grades, so he doesn’t have to be home until eleven on Saturdays. They usually stay upstairs until the last minute.]

Jeddy:  Where are you going?

Kunzite: To the pharmacy to buy more supplies.

Jeddy:  What kind of supplies?

Neffy:  Don’t answer that.  We don’t want to know.

Beryl: Couldn’t you just conjure everything you need?

Kunzite:  That won’t tell me what his preferences are.

[The others watch as they go out the door]

[Later at the store. It’s fairly dead at this hour.  The woman at the pharmacy counter is listening to her iPod and reading a romance novel.  Kunzite is putting bottle of haircare products in the shopping basket he’s carrying.  Zoi is examining bottles of bubble bath.]

Zoi:  I’m not sure if I should get apple or Love Forever.  Which would you like, since you’ll be in there with me?

[Kunzite takes both and puts them in his basket and then puts his arm around Zoi]  

Kunzite:  Get anything you want.  I could buy you the entire store if you like.  Money is the least of my worries, and I have nothing to spend it on but you.

[They walk with their arms around each other until they get to the section on reproductive health.  Kunzite stops and puts four bottle of lubricant in the basket.]

Zoi:  [Picks up another bottle of lubricant and hands it to Kunzite] You’re going to need a lot more than that.  

Kunzite:  [takes the bottle and puts it in the basket] True. We go through this pretty quickly.  

Zoi:  [giggles] It is a shame they don’t sell this in Costco sized buckets… That would be enough to get us through a month.

[Zoi scans the rest of the shelf and picks up a pregnancy test]

Zoi:  [laughs] Look. This can detect a pregnancy as early as two days after conception.  

Kunzite:  I’m afraid I don’t see the humor in that.

Zoi:  [still laughing] I was just thinking, since the two of us go at it like jackrabbits every Saturday, it’s a good thing I don’t have to worry about you knocking me up.  

[Zoi stops laughing abruptly when he remembers that Kunzite has never been fully human]

Zoi: Wait… You can’t knock me up, can you?

Kunzite:  [grins] I shouldn’t imagine it’s possible, but I never gave it much thought.

Zoi: You’d better give it some thought.  I can’t have your cthulhu babies eating their way out of my abdomen!

[Zoi throws a pack of spermicidal condoms in the basket]

Demande Blackmoon:  And that’s a wrap.  In more ways than one.

[Zoi and Kunzite turn around to see Demande Blackmoon recording them with his smartphone.]

Demande:  [smiles warmly] This is going right on my YouTube channel.

Kunzite: Zoisite.  Don’t.

Zoi:  [snarls as he charges at Demande] Give me that phone!

Demande:  [grins] Hush. I’m sending an email to your father.

[Zoi grabs the phone out of Demande’s hand and tries to delete the video.  Demande grabs hold of him but before he can pin his arms, Zoi dashes the phone against the floor as hard as he can.]

[Demande is stunned for a bit, then tightens his arms around Zoi.]

Demande:  [unfazed] You little brat.  That’s a brand new phone.

Zoi:  Let go of me!

Demande:  [sniffs the top of Zoi’s head]  Damn you smell good.

Zoi: [struggles] Stop smelling me!  

[Zoi tries to stomp on Demande's foot, so Demande lifts him off his feet.  Zoi tries to slam his heel against Demande’s shin, but if it has an impact, Demande doesn’t react to it.  If anything he seems to enjoy Zoi’s frenzied struggle.]

[Then Demande abruptly freezes.]

Demande:  Oh my god, what a jerk.

Zoi:  What?

Demande:  That guy you were with?  The one you’d been saving yourself for?  He took off.

[Zoi looks and sees Kunzite is nowhere to be seen.]

Demande:  He just left you here.  If you were mine, I’d never leave you alone with a guy like me.

[Demande looks around, sees there is nobody else around and then pushes Zoi up against a wall.]

Demande:  You’re lucky I’m a nice guy.  This would be a very easy situation for someone to take advantage of, but I’m willing to let you off lightly.  Here is the deal.  I’ll delete that video without posting it on the internet if you make out with me for two minutes.

Zoi:  No!

Demande:  Oh, come on.  I’m not going to do anything bad to you. I just need something interesting to think about while I’m putting babies in my cousins’ bellies.

Zoi:  No!

Demande:  [wounded]  You’d rather have that plastered all over the internet than kiss me for two minutes?

Zoi:  I’d rather perform the Superbowl Halftime Show in the nude than kiss you for two seconds!

Demande:  Why?  Because you have a boyfriend?  Newsflash:  He doesn’t care about you.  He’s a big guy, he could have taken me.  But instead he decided you’re not worth the trouble and he took off and stranded you here.

[Zoi’s seeing red. Then he sighs with resignation.]

Zoi:  Fine.  One kiss.

Demande:  For two minutes.

Zoi:  No tongue.

Demande:  Oh, there is going to be tongue.

Zoi: Then you have to erase the video and stop bothering me.

Demande:  That is the deal.

Zoi:  And then this never happens again and we never speak of it.

Demande: [nods] agreed

[Zoi closes his eyes and parts his lips]

[Demande leans in tilting his head to the side, relaxing his grip]

[As soon as Zoi can feel Demande breath on his face his eyes snap open and he grabs both of Demande’s earlobes and pulls them back as hard as he can. Demande screams in pain.]

Zoi:  [laughs] You stupid idiot!  Like I would kiss you in a million years!

[Zoi tries to twist free, but Demande grabs hold of him again and pins Zoi’s arms behind his back.]

Demande:  That was cruel.  I should punish you, but I’m too nice a guy.

Zoi:  Let go of me!

Demande:  What a spoiled little brat you are. You know what you need?  You need to be spanked.  

Zoi:  [Horrified] Don’t you dare!

Demande:  [grins]  I should put you over my knee and smack the brattiness right out of you….but I won’t. You know why?  Because I’m too nice of a guy.  [pauses in thought]  But there has got to be a way to punish you without hitting you…

Zoi:  [struggles]  Let me go!

Demande: Tell me, Zoi-zoi, are you ticklish?

Zoi:  [Zoi’s face takes on a look of horror]  No.

Demande:  I think you are…  

[Demande burrows his fingers into Zoi’s armpits and strokes lightly with his fingernails.  Zoi screams with laughter.]

Demande:  You are!

Zoi:  [shrieking]  No! Stop!  

[Demande does not stop but instead tickles Zoi vigorously, to the point of torture.  Zoi’s laughing so hard it hurts him to breathe, and the terror that causes only makes breathing increasingly more painful.]

[Demande pauses with his fingers in Zoi's armpits to let him catch his breath.]

Demande:  Do you have something you want to say to me?

Zoi:  Stop! Or I’ll tell!

Demande:  You’ll tell what?  That I tickled you?  Do you think anyone is going to take that seriously. You think there is a single prosecutor in this state that’s willing to cross Justice Blackmoon over a tickling? Especially when they see what a sultry little minx you are?

[Demande goes back to tickling him vigorously and now Zoi is in so much pain he’s starting to fear for his life. When Demande stops tickling this time, Zoi doesn’t say or do anything.]

Demande:  Are you ready to be a good boy now?

[Zoi nods]

[Demande backs Zoi into the wall and shoves his tongue into his mouth.]


	7. The Persephone Problem

[Scene:  The Hen Tie pharmacy.  Demande Blackmoon is kissing Zoi, and Zoi’s enjoying it about as much as if a sewer rat has crawled into his mouth. But he’s feeling pretty defeated and at this point he just wants it to be over.]

[Demande breaks off the kiss and looks at his watch]

Demande:  I’ve still got another thirty-five seconds.  [Goes back to kissing Zoi]

[Suddenly there is a jolt as Demande is struck in the back. Demande starts howling in pain as he is pulled away from Zoi.]

[Justice Blackmoon has his walking stick on one hand and is dragging Demande by the hair with his other.  Zoi wipes his mouth with his hand.] 

Justice Blackmoon: Get off him!  What the hell is wrong with you!  This is not how I raised you!

Demande:  Yes it is! This is exactly how you raised me!

[Justice Blackmoon releases Demande’s hair so he can strike him with his crystal orb topped cane]  

Justice Blackmoon:  No I did not!  I did not raise you to go around molesting teenage boys in the grocery store!

Demande:  What are you talking about!  You molest people all the time!

[Justice Blackmoon points his cane at a security camera that is broken and charred.  Below it, the woman at the counter appears to be frozen solid] 

Justice Blackmoon: For the love of God! Shut your damn mouth before someone walks in here!

Demande: [breaks into a sweat] Oh.

Justice Blackmoon:  You’re lucky that was a closed security camera system!  I am an elected official!  Do you have any idea what would happen to my political career if the press got hold of footage of my oldest son going around molesting underage boys in public?

Demande:  [rolls his eyes]  Oh quit exaggerating.  He’s not an underage boy.

Justice Blackmoon: Yes, he is!

Demande:  Oh, come on.  He’s eighteen.

Justice Blackmoon: He’s fifteen!

Demande: What do you mean he’s fifteen?  He’s in the same class as Em.  That means he’s at least seventeen!

Justice Blackmoon:  [grabs Demande’s lapels, livid with rage] Last time you saw Zoi-zoi, you were twelve and he was three.  You’re twenty-four.  How old does that make him?

[Demande’s eyes go wide]

Justice Blackmoon:  [gives Demande a shove] Go wait in the car. I’ll pick up my prescriptions myself and then we are leaving.  

Demande:  [To Zoi]  I’m so sorry… I had no idea you were just a kid.

[Demande backs away and runs out]

[Zoi just stands there with his back to the wall and watches as Justice Blackmoon unfreezes the woman behind the counter.  She goes back to reading her book and he has to clear his throat several times to get her attention]

[Zoi waits a few minutes after he leaves to make sure they are really gone.  Then he runs to the drinking fountain.  He fills his mouth with water and then spits it out before he goes into the bathroom to wash his face and hands with soap and hot water.]

[When he looks up he sees Kunzite’s reflection in the mirror behind his.]  

[Kunzite’s face is so contorted with rage he is barely recognizable.]

[Zoi turns around.]

Zoi:  [shamefaced]  I’m sorry. Demande Blackmoon forced me to kiss him. I tried to kick his ass instead, but he’s a lot bigger than me.

[Kunzite steps forward and Zoi finds himself stepping back. He screams in fear as Kunzite grabs him by the wrist. He pulls Zoi to him and crushes him to his chest, wrapping his arms around him.]

Kunzite:  I left you to be mauled by that animal… and you think you need to apologize to me?

[Zoi nestles against Kunzite feeling safe and secure.  Kunzite of the other hand is still on the edge of hysteria.]

Kunzite:  I’m so sorry…  I’m so sorry… I couldn’t do anything…I couldn’t even stay…I had to leave…to keep them from killing you…

Zoi:  Yes. I know.  

[Kunzite holds him at arm’s length] 

Kunzite:  [startled] You know? 

Zoi:   That black moon on his forehead prevented you from attacking him.   I know all about the nonaggression pact your mother has with the Blackmoons.

Kunzite:  How…

Zoi: That was the guy who told me you were a Shitennou.  He told me everything   [looks up at Kunzite adoringly] Could you kiss me? I need to get the taste of Nemesis out of my mouth.

[Kunzite kisses Zoi, a little more chastely than Zoi would like, but he gets the sense Kunzite is terrified of hurting him.  It makes Zoi feel oddly at ease since he can spend his energy comforting Kunzite instead of dwelling on his own trauma]

[Kunzite seems no less shaken.  He holds Zoi closer but it seems he is doing it more for himself.]

Zoi: [nuzzles Kunzite] This had nothing to do with you. He was harassing me like this even before we were together.

Kunzite:  Still, if I had left town the day I met you–

Zoi:  If you had left town the day you met me, that would have been my first kiss.

[For a time Kunzite is silent.  He just holds Zoi for several minutes while Zoi rests his head and hand against his chest with his eyes closed.]

Kunzite:  I need to talk to Mother.  I can’t allow this. A man has a right to protect his husband. Especially one as delicate as you are.

Zoi:  [sulks]  I’ll be the first to admit I have no experience with relationships.  But it just seems logical that a marriage should be somewhat equal…as in, one of us can’t always be swooping in and saving the other one.  They should save each other equally.  

Kunzite:  You have saved me.

Zoi:  [rolls his eyes]  I can’t always be Lois Lane.  I want to be Superman too…

[Suddenly the shock of what just happened hits him all at once.  He pulls away from Kunzite in a rage.]  

Zoi:  I should have bit him!  Why didn’t I think about biting him?  He had his tongue in my mouth and it never even occurred to me to bite down!

Kunzite:  [stern]  Zoisite, the Blackmoon Clan are monsters.  There is not a drop of human blood in any of them. They might look human to you, but they are no less inhuman and evil than I am.  If you had bit his tongue he probably would have knocked your teeth out.  Right before he slit your throat.  From now on you are to do nothing to antagonize him.

Zoi:  So should let him do whatever he wants to me to keep from getting on his bad side?  Because you can just forget about that!

[Kunzite is silent again, but he seems calmer, as if a great weight has been lifted from his mind. Then holds out a hand and a portal starts to form.]  

[Zoi looks at his watch. It’s 10:57.  He’s got three minutes to get home.  Maybe a bit more if his father is not looking at the clock. But knowing his father, he’s probably looking at the clock.  Zoi knows a portal will take a while, but driving home would take longer.  He hopes his father’s not looking at the clock.  He’s in no mood for a lecture.]

Kunzite:  [conversationally]  So what is it you were told exactly about the history of the Blackmoons and the Shitennou?

Zoi:  That the people from Nemesis came to Earth as refugees and you made them your slaves.  

Kunzite:  True.

Zoi:  They defected to the White Queen, but they later betrayed her because she wouldn’t put with their perversion.  

Kunzite:  He admitted to that?

Zoi: Not in those exact words, but yeah.  So your mother rewarded them by giving them Blackmoon Cove as a sanctuary, and keeping the black moon mark on their forehead so that you can’t attack them.

Kunzite:  [continues forming the portal]  It’s worse than that.  Not only can we not harm them, we can’t interfere with them at all.  We can’t attack them, we can’t restrain them, we can’t even inconvenience them.  

Zoi:  What happens if you do attack them?

Kunzite:  [shakes his head] Mother cursed us so that it’s a physical impossibility.  I can’t decide to attack a Blackmoon any more than you can decide to float in the air.

Zoi:  Is it the same with going to Blackmoon Cove?

Kunzite:  No.  I can go Blackmoon Cove.  It wouldn’t do me any good since I wouldn’t be able to do anything while I’m there except scream in pain while I melt like a candle in a furnace.

Zoi:  [toys with a lock of his hair] Demande Blackmoon mentioned something about a covenant being in place, and if the covenant is broken you’ll be able to attack them.

Kunzite:  The covenant can’t be broken by a Shitennou, only a Blackmoon.

Zoi:  But it can be broken?

Kunzite: [nods]  Mother needed to put that in place to keep them from retaliating once we were no longer a danger to them.  If a Blackmoon knowingly and willingly attacks a Shitennou, with intent to commit harm, the covenant is broken. Not only for that Blackmoon, but for every Blackmoon alive.

Zoi:  [curls his hair around his finger]  Then we need to find some way to trick them into attacking you.

Kunzite:  They have to attack one of us knowingly and willfully. It can’t be a trick.  A Blackmoon has to know that he is attacking a Shitennou, be aware of the consequences, and decide to do it anyway.  

Zoi:  [releases his finger from the curl]  There must be a way to provoke them.

Kunzite: [shakes his head] No Blackmoon will ever attack a Shitennou.  They have it drummed into them in the cradle.  Even Esmeraude from our biology class knows better, and she’s as crazy as a loon.  She knows that if she attacks a Shitennou, the Blackmoons will become extinct within seconds.

Zoi:  Maybe you can find one that is suicidal?

Kunzite: [grins] No Blackmoon is THAT suicidal.  Besides, Mother would probably allow it, since it would be an act of treason against the Blackmoons, and therefore not a violation of the pact.

Zoi:  There’s got to be a loophole.

Kunzite:  If there is, I won’t find it. Mother’s curse is so strong, I’m not even allowed to look for a loophole.

Zoi:  But you told me, and there is nothing to stop me from looking for a loophole, so you’ve uncovered a loophole right there.

[Kunzite gives him a look, then a smile of admiration]

[At last the dark portal solidifies.  Zoi knows he’s late and his father is probably furious, but he trusts Kunzite to stick by him with a convincing excuse.  Kunzite holds Zoi close to him and leads him through.]

[They step through the portal and Zoi recognizes that he is in Kunzite’s castle in the Dark Kingdom. Kunzite raises his hand and in an instant the portal is gone.]

Zoi:  Wait.  You closed the portal.  How am I supposed to get back to Hen Tie?

Kunzite:  You’re not going back to Hen Tie.

Zoi: [giggles since he thinks Kunzite is joking] You mean like not ever?

Kunzite:  [dead serious] Not ever.

[Zoi’s smile vanishes as he realizes what Kunzite just did and why he did it.]

Zoi:  Take me back!  You have to take me home!

Kunzite:  You are home.


	8. O’Sama Family Meeting

[scene:  The Dark Kingdom, it’s not a nice place to visit, and Zoi has no intention of living there] 

Zoi:  I demand you take me home!

[Kunzite presses his fingers to his temples and squeezes his eyes shut.]

Zoi:  …please?

Kunzite:  No!  You’re not going back and that’s final!

Zoi:  Kunzite.  You can’t do this.  I’m only fifteen.  People are going to start looking for me.  They’ll hand out fliers and print posters with our faces all over them.

[Kunzite says nothing]

Zoi:  Kunzite, dammit! You need to take me back!

Kunzite:  We need to keep you away from the Black Moon Clan.  Far away.

Zoi:  You can’t just expect me to vanish into thin air like this!

Kunzite:  They can’t come here.  You will be safe from them.

Zoi:  No, Kunzite, you can’t do this to my dad!  He’s going to be worried sick!

Kunzite:  I have to, Zoisite, now please be quiet.

Zoi:  I won’t!  You have to take me back!  My dad has probably given himself an ulcer by now!  He’ll call the FBI!  They’ll be all over your family!  Your mother, the other Shitennou–!    

[Zoi’s eyes go wide]  

Zoi:  Oh, my God!  No he won’t! He’ll go barging into your house, demanding to search every square inch of it!  Your family will kill him for sure!

Kunzite:  [smirks] See.  Problem solved.

Zoi:  Kunzite!  How can you even–

Kunzite:  That was a joke.  

Zoi:  [horrified]  Oh, my God!  You’re hilarious!

Kunzite:  I’m reasonably sure my family won’t kill your father.

Zoi:  Yes they will!  Then they’ll have to leave, to hide from the FBI forever!

Kunzite:  [places his hands on his shoulders] Calm down, Zoisite.  We’ve been there before.

Zoi:  Not over me you didn’t!  You’re not ruining everything over me!

[Beryl materializes in a long indigo gown.]  

[Kunzite is aghast that Beryl would teleport inside his castle uninvited.]

Beryl:  Kunzite–

Kunzite:  What are you doing here?

Beryl:  What am I doing here?  What are you doing here?  Why haven’t you taken Zoi home?

Kunzite:  Demande Blackmoon attacked Zoisite at the pharmacy. I’m not letting that happen again.

Beryl:  That’s all well and good, but Zoi’s father keeps calling the house. He wants to know why his son isn’t home yet.  

Kunzite:  What did you tell him?

Beryl:  I told him you called and said you had a flat tire, and you’re waiting for AAA, but that excuse isn’t going to work for very much longer if you don’t call him and let him know you are on your way.

Kunzite: Call him back and find some gentle words to inform him he will never see his son again.

Beryl:  Kunzite!

Kunzite:  Demande Blackmoon has decided to go after Zoisite. I need to keep him here where he’ll be safe.  

Beryl:  [shaken] Kunzite, let’s talk this through.

Kunzite:  You don’t understand!  He’s a Blackmoon, Beryl!  Don’t you see that?  He’s a Blackmoon!  They have a fifteen thousand year grudge against us, and now they have discovered a way to take their revenge. 

Beryl:  [holds out her hands to Zoi] I’ll take him home, Kunzite.  I can protect him from the effects of teleportation better than you can.

[Kunzite pulls Zoi closer and tightens his arms around him.]

Beryl:  Give him to me.

Kunzite:  Listen to me Beryl!  The Blackmoons are sick and depraved.  They’re sadistic animals, and Demande Blackmoon wants him, Beryl.  He wants him specifically.  This won’t stop until he’s done horrible things to Zoisite. It may not even stop after that.  And that’s if he doesn’t figure out who I am and what I feel for him!  If he does, he’ll find a way to make Zoisite die right in front of me!

Beryl:  He doesn’t know—

Kunzite:  How long do you think it will be before he tries something like this again?

Zoi:  Kunzite? [tugs his sleeve] I don’t know how much you saw, but he was completely put off once he found out I’m only fifteen.

Kunzite:  Yes!  So was I! For about three minutes!

[Jeddy and Neffy appear]

Jeddy:  Kunzite.  Zoi’s father won’t stop calling us.  He’s freaking out because Zoi won’t answer his cellphone. [to Zoi] I told him your phone ran out of juice right before you left, but he insists you call him on Kunzite’s phone and let him know you’re alive.

Zoi:  You need to let me talk to him!  Otherwise he’s going to think I’ve been abducted!

Neffy:  I don’t know how to break this to you, kid, but you HAVE been abducted.

Beryl:  He’s right.  Let’s just look at our options for a minute.

Kunzite:  There are no options!

Zoi:  I’m not leaving my dad!

Neffy:  We have to take him back.

Kunzite:  No!  If Demande Blackmoon tries something we won’t be able to stop him!

Jeddy:  I have an idea.

Beryl:  Kunzite.  We need to stop and think–

Neffy:  [shrugs] I don’t see what the big deal is.  These are the Blackmoons we’re talking about, they’re not looking for anything longterm or meaningful. So why don’t we just let him play with wifey-boy for a few days until he gets bored?

Zoi:  Why don’t we just let him play with YOU for a few days until he gets bored!

Beryl:  There’s another option.

Kunzite: There is no other option!

Jeddy:  [hurt] Doesn’t anyone want to hear my idea?

The other Shitennou: No!

Zoi:  You take me back!

Kunzite:  No!

Jeddy:  Here’s what we need to do… [Beryl and Neffy roll their eyes] …we need to fake Zoi’s death.

[The other Shitennou stop talking and stare at Jeddy in surprise]


	9. Diabolical Plans

[Scene:  Kunzite’s castle in the Dark Kingdom.  Jeddy has just suggested they fake Zoi’s death.]

Neffy:  That’s not a bad idea, actually.

Zoi:  Yes it is!  It’s a terrible idea!

Jeddy:  All we need to do is order a youma with chameleon powers to take on Zoi’s appearance and DNA.  Then we snap her neck and mash up the body a little to make it look like Zoi died in a car accident.

Beryl:  Jeddy, that’s actually brilliant.  I’m in shock.

[Zoi is in shock too, but for entirely different reasons]

Neffy:  Yes. [smiles] It might work.  If everyone thinks that Zoi is dead, we don’t have to worry about anyone coming around looking for him.  That would solve all of our troubles in one fell swoop.

Zoi: No it won’t!

Jeddy:  Why not!

Zoi:  Because my parents will be DEVASTATED!

Kunzite:  That’s irrelevant.  We need to make sure you’re safe, and that’s all that matters.

Neffy:  Zoi, listen to him, he’s right.

Zoi:  NO, HE’S NOT!

Beryl:  Yes, he is.

Zoi:  No!  I can’t do that!  I couldn’t live with myself if I tricked my parents into thinking I died!

Kunzite:  You don’t have to do a thing.  We’re going to do this for you.

Neffy:  Go on, Jeddy.

Jeddy:  After we kill her, we’ll prop the corpse up in Kunzite’s Maserati, or better yet, Neffy’s Ferrari.

Neffy:  My Ferrari?

Jeddy:  Since it’s not a convertible, people won’t be able to see she’s already got a broken neck.

Neffy:  Oh, no!  You’re not using my Ferrari!

Jeddy:  Oh, come on.  Let us use your Ferrari.  The windows are tinted and everything.

Neffy:  No!  Why should I? What’s he to me?  Other than an annoyance Kunzite decided to inflict on the rest of us?

Jeddy:  Fine. We’ll use the Maserati. Once we get the corpse in place, we just need to bewitch some random motorist to plow into it.  If we use the convertible it should be near a bar.  It will be mostly drunks on the road this time of night anyway. Even better if there are drunken witnesses.

Zoi:  [appalled] Do you even hear yourselves?

Kuzite: Won’t people wonder why he’s dead and I’m completely uninjured?

Beryl:  You just watched the love of your life die in a tragic accident. I doubt anyone would be insensitive enough to bring it up.

[Beryl’s face takes on a troubled expression]

Beryl:  I just thought of something.  It won’t work.  

Jeddy:  Why not?

Beryl: Once the youma is dead, she will no longer have Zoi’s form.

[There is a moment of silence and the Shitennou all exhale at once]

Neffy:  Damn. I knew if Jeddy came up with an idea, there had to be something wrong with it.

Jeddy:  [desperate] We’ll keep her alive then, and have her mimic being dead.

Neffy:  That won’t be much fun during the autopsy.

Beryl:  True.  If she’s alive at the beginning of that, she won’t be at the end.

Neffy:  Oh, well, back to the drawing board.  Does anyone else have a brilliant idea?

Zoi:  Stop it!  You’re wasting time!  You need to take me home before my father calls the FBI! …Look, after the beating he took from his father, Demande Blackmoon’s not going to try anything! At least not tonight!

Beryl:  Yes, but when he realizes what you mean to Kunzite, he’ll come after you for entirely different reasons.

Zoi:  I don’t think so.  I don’t think Demande Blackmoon wants to stir anything up with the Shitennou. He thought I was seeing Jeddy, and he said something about not wanting to rattle his cage.  So I don’t think it’s going to be a problem.

Jeddy:  He thought you were seeing me?  Why would he think you were seeing me?

Zoi:  Um…I don’t know…

Kunzite:  I’m not sending you back!  It’s too easy to say nothing is going to happen until something happens. And then it will be too late!

[The others are silent]

Zoi:  [sighs] Take me home, and if anything happens, I’ll sell my dad on the idea of sending me back to Phoenix.

Kunzite:  And if Demande Blackmoon follows you?

Zoi:  Good luck with that.  There are several million people in Phoenix.

Jeddy:  It’s not that hard to look up an address.

Zoi: He’d have to know my mother’s married name.  I don’t even think my father does.

Kunzite:  What are you going to do in Phoenix?

Zoi:  Disappear.  

Neffy: I kind of like it.

Kunzite:  Shut up Nephrite!  

[Kunzite takes Zoi by the shoulders and looks him in the eye]

Kunzite:  Zoisite, if you let anything happen to yourself, anything at all, I am holding you personally responsible. Do you understand that?

Zoi:  *nods*

Kunzite:  And I’m staying in your bed tonight, to keep an eye on you, regardless of whether your father wants me there or not.

[Zoi brings his fingers to his mouth to try to hide his smile]

[Meanwhile…]

[The Blackmoon Bentley on the long drive back to Olympia, WA from Hen Tie.  Demande is behind the wheel and Justice Blackmoon is in the passenger seat smoking a cigar.  Demande is still cringing.]

[Justice Blackmoon looks over and ruffles his hair.]

Justice Blackmoon:  Oh, lighten up! You understand why I had to hit you, boy? I had to hit you for being stupid.  How many times do I have to tell you—don’t get caught on camera!

Demande:  I’m sorry, dad.

Justice Blackmoon:  Ah, don’t worry about it.  All’s well that ends well, and he had it coming to him anyway.

Demande: He did?

Justice Blackmoon: Well not him personally, but…[blows a puff of smoke] Don’t get me wrong, Zoi-zoi a sweet kid, but his father’s been chafing my hide lately.  If he keeps it up, I may have to teach him a lesson.

Demande:  Oh?

Justice Blackmoon: Chief Midori won’t take my money anymore and he’s arrested three men he’s not supposed to. He claims it doesn’t feel right being on the take since his son’s such a good boy.  He’s been working hard, getting straight A’s, keeping his nose clean, and making lots of nice friends, so he’s has got to set a good example for his little golden-haired angel.

[Justice Blackmoon blows a smoke ring]  

Justice Blackmoon: Poor little Zoi-zoi.  I love the kid to death. But I’ve got to admit it puts a song in my heart to see the little goodie-two-shoes taken down a peg or two.

Demande:  [grins] Oh, he’s been taken down more than a peg or two. I know for a fact that Chief Midori’s little golden haired angel has been taking it in the rear from some cowardly sleazeball.

Justice Blackmoon:  [lets out a wheezing laugh] You don’t say?

Demande:  He was in there in the pharmacy picking out condoms for his sugardaddy.  I got it all on video.

Justice Blackmoon:  [chortles] Any idea who it is?

Demande:  Probably some drug dealer.  He looks like he’s my age or younger, but he drives a Maserati.

Justice Blackmoon:  Oh, this is just too precious for words. That’s the best thing I’ve heard all week.

Demande:  Think we should tell his father?

Justice Blackmoon: Nah. It’s funnier if he doesn’t know.

[The come to a railroad crossing with the lights flashing and the arms coming down]

[They sit and watch the train going by for a while and then Demande pulls out his cellphone.]

Demande: Hey dad. I’ve got a question for you.

Justice Blackmoon: What is it, boy?

[Shows him the screen]

Demande: Do you have any idea who this guy is?

[Justice Blackmoon almost drops his cigar into his lap as he looks at an image of Zoi handing Kunzite a bottle of lubricant.]

Justice Blackmoon:  [nearly has a heart attack] HOLY SHIT!!!

Demande:  You know him?

Justice Blackmoon:  THAT’S KUNZITE O’SAMA!!!

Demande:  [breaks into a cold sweat at the very mention of the name] THE Kunzite O’Sama?  The evilest of Shitennou, Kunzite?  The monster under the monster’s bed, Kunzite?  The finish-all-your-vegetables, or-Kunzite’s-going-to-kill-you-in-your-sleep, Kunzite?

Justice Blackmoon: The one and only!  And it appears he’s gotten his dirty meathooks into our Zoi-zoi!

[For a minute they just stare at one another.]

Justice Blackmoon:  Turn the car around.  We’ve got to go back to Hen Tie.


	10. Surrounded by Heroes

[Scene:  Monday morning in the hallway of Hen Tie High on the way to lunch.  Zoi looks around but there is no sign of Kunzite.  The weather is warming up so he’s just got a t-shirt under his zipped hoodie.  He’s in a sour mood since he didn’t get to go to the Crown Center the day before since he’s been placed on restriction for two months by his father for violating his curfew.  No hanging with his friends, no dates with Kunzite.  He has to come home right after school.]

Umino:  So now that the others not around, can you tell me why you’re grounded?

Zoi:  I stayed out past curfew on Saturday and didn’t call to say I got stranded. 

Umino:  Why didn’t you call?

Zoi:  I couldn’t, my phone wasn’t getting a signal.

Umino:  It seems a bit excessive for your father to ground you for two months over that.

Zoi:  He thought I should have called him on Kunzite’s phone.

Umino:  Why didn’t you?

Zoi:  It’s a bit hard to explain.

Umino:  Oh.

[Zoi’s face tells him he wants him to let it drop, but Umino’s curiosity gets the better of him]  

Umino:  Why is it hard to explain why you couldn’t use Kunzite’s phone?

Zoi:  Let’s just say I had another run in with Demande Blackmoon.

[Umino’s hair stands on end]

Umino:  He didn’t bother you again, did he?

Zoi:  Yes, he did.

Umino:  So you couldn’t use Kunzite’s phone because Kunzite had to drag him out back and rough him up a little to get him to stop bothering you?

Zoi:  No.  

Umino:  No?

Zoi:  Like I said, it’s hard to explain.

[Umino look over his shoulder and his eye go wide with terror.]

Umino:  Oh!  He’s here!

Zoi:  Who?  Kunzite?

Umino:  No—

[Umino Is shoved roughly aside as Zoi is cornered by Demande and Saffir Blackmoon.  Zoi tries to get away but Demande grabs him by the arms.]

Saffir:  [to Umino] We need to have a talk with your friend, so you need to get lost.

Umino:  [breaks into a sweat]  Sure, no problem.

[Demande watches Umino run away]

Demande:  [to Zoi] You’re surrounded by heroes, aren’t you.

Zoi:  Let go of me!

Demande:  [pushes him up against the lockers]  Relax, we just want to talk.

Saffir:  That guy you’re seeing.  He’s one of the O’Sama boys.

Zoi:  Yes.

Saffir:  Maybe it’s none of my business, but I don’t think that’s a very good idea.

Zoi:  You’re right.  It is none of your business!

Saffir:  You probably don’t know this but the O’Sama brothers have an unpleasant reputation around Blackmoon cove.

Zoi:  Actually I did know that.  [Gives Demande a pointed look]  But the reputation couldn’t have been deserved since the O’Samas have never set foot in Blackmoon cove, have they?

Saffir:  That’s true. [Also stares at Demande]  You seem …well informed about the O’Sama’s. More informed than I suspected.

Zoi:  Maybe even better informed than you are.

Saffir:  Maybe.  

Demande: Is your father well informed?

Zoi:  [stammers] Dad likes the O’Sama’s a lot.

Saffir:  It’s none of our business.  But it may be your father’s.

Zoi:  Though it would be my business again if I think it’s my dad’s business or not, right?

Saffir:  [thinks about this and nods] Yes, I guess that is your business too.

Zoi:  Thanks.

[Demande releases Zoi]

Demande:  Just think about what you are doing.

Zoi:  Okay.

[Zoi tries to walk away by Demande grabs him and pushes him up against the lockers again. Zoi looks at Demande’s eyes and they are filled with nothing but menace.]

Demande: What I meant to say is, don’t do what you’re doing.

[Zoi tries to free himself, but Demande is holding him in an iron grip.]

Esmeraude:  My prince!  What a pleasant surprise.  You’ve finally come here to see me!

[Demande turns to see Esmeraude smiling happily at him in her minidress and gogo boots.  Then she notices Zoi, and her face is filled with venomous hatred.]

Demande:  [Never takes his grip off Zoi]  Yes, cousin, well you were so amazing last night so I decided to bring you a present.  I brought you a necklace to match your pretty green hair.

Esmeraude:  [over the moon]  You bought me a necklace.

Demande:  Saffir, go to the car with cousin Em and give her the necklace I bought her.

Saffir:  Where is it?  I didn’t see a necklace in the car.

Demande:  I think I put it in the trunk.  You may have to dig for it.

[As soon as their backs are turned Demande shoves Zoi into an empty classroom]  

[Zoi tries to get out of the classroom, by Demande is blocking the door]

Zoi:  Let me go!

Demande: First off, I want to apologize.  I’m afraid we’ve gotten off on the wrong foot. I’m aware my conduct in the past has been a little inappropriate at times.

Zoi:  A LITTLE?

Demande:  Listen to me.  You are in terrible danger.  That guy you are seeing?  He’s not human.  He’s the worst monster the world has ever known.  But I can take you some place where he can’t hurt you.

[holds out his hand but Zoi moves away from him]

Zoi:  You mean your sex dungeon!

Demande:  No, not my sex dungeon. Stop being difficult.  We’re just trying to help you.

Zoi:  I don’t want your help!

Demande:  He’s really done a number on you, hasn’t he?  

[Demande advances on Zoi and Zoi backs away to the front of the room in terror]

Demande:  Zoi, listen to me.  This isn’t you.  He’s messed with your brain and made you his slave.  But don’t worry, we can find a way to undo this.

Zoi:  No!  Get away from me!

[The door bangs open, and Esmeraude is standing there, full of fury]

Esmeraude:  There are no necklace anywhere in that car.

Demande:  I guess I must have lost it.

Esmeraude:  You lost it?  Oh Really!  

Demande:  Oh, well.  Easy come, easy go.

[Esmeraude stomps off and Saffir enters the room]

Demande:  [tights his grip on both of Zoi’s arms]  Saffir, bring the car around.  Zoi is coming with us to Blackmoon Cove.

Zoi:  [Tries to flee] NO! I AM NOT!

Demande:  Yes, you are.  This is for your own good.  Trust me, you’ll thank us later.

Zoi: [clings to a cabling pillar, hysterical with terror, while Demande tries to drag him away by his upper arms] NO I WON’T!  GET AWAY FROM ME!

Demande:   [Tries to yank him away as hard as he can] This is for your own good.  You’ll thank us later.

Saffir:  Brother, I’m not the legal expert in the family, but I’m fairly certain you can’t just walk into a schoolyard and drag a screaming boy into your car.

Demande:  This is a special case.

Saffir:  No, it’s a felony.

Demande:  It would be a worse felony not for us not to drag him off.

[Someone taps on Demande Blackmoon’s shoulder, and as Demande turns to see who it is, Mamoru Chiba punches him across the face, sending him crashing to the floor.]

Saffir:  BROTHER!!!  [drops to his knees beside Demande and holds him in his arms]

Mamoru:  Highschool is a place for teachers to shape budding young minds, but it appears you’re the one who needs to be taught a lesson.

Saffir:  I’ll kill you for this!

Demande:  [smiles and shakes Saffir off]  No need to resort to violence, we can handle this diplomatically.

[Stands and the moon on his forehead starts to spin]

Demande:  What’s happening here is none of your concern.  You’re going to leave now and mind your own bus—

[He stops talking and the moon stops spinning as he sees Mamoru is not alone.  He’s flanked by Usagi, Rei, Minako, Umino, and Naru.  All of them have their arms crossed and look like they are ready for a fight.]


	11. An Ugly Breakup

Scene:  Hen Tie High.  Zoi’s friends are angling to create a barrier between the Blackmoon brothers and Zoi.]

Usagi:  Leave him alone, or else you’ll be punished.  

Demande:  No problem, we were just leaving anyway.  

Minako:  Good for you. Because I was just about to lose a heel off one of my Ferragamos, and you were just about to gain one in an uncomfortable spot.

Demande:  [smiles warmly] Fair enough.   You must forgive me. I should have said what I came here to say and left, but I got a little carried away.  My apologies. Come along Saffir.

[Saffir lags behind and stares down Mamoru.]

Demande:  Brother, let it go.  There are no hard feelings. I was clearly in the wrong.  [to Zoi’s friends]  Consider this matter closed.  I won’t give you any more trouble.

[Zoi very much doubts that]

[They watch to make sure the Blackmoons actually leave.  Zoi sinks into a corner and sits crosslegged with his face resting on his hands, pretty badly shaken.]  

Mamoru: [rubs his shoulder] Hey buddy?  Are you ok?

[Zoi nods, but closes his eyes sadly.]  

Mamoru:  You don’t seem ok.

Zoi:  [muttering to himself] Kunzite is going to be so angry at me.

Mamoru:  Why would Kunzite be angry at you?

Zoi:  [still muttering] I can’t take care of myself.  I’m completely useless in a fight.  I could get my ass kicked by 100% the boys in this school, and at least 95% of the girls. I am such a weakling.

Usagi: [stoops down on one knee next to him to give him a hug] Hey, don’t worry about it.  We’ve got your back.

Minako:  Besides, why would you need to hold your own in fight when you’ve got a big hot studmuffiny boyfriend to look after you?

[Zoi sighs wistfully.]

Umino:  I tried to find Kunzite, but he wasn’t in the cafeteria.

Zoi:  There was somewhere else he needed to be right now.

Mamoru:  [helps him to his feet] You should sit with us today.

Usagi:  Let’s go eat, I’m starving.  

[They go to the cafeteria. Mamoru sits between Zoi and Usagi.  Zoi has not brought any lunch, nor has he brought any money for lunch, since he’s come to depend on Kunzite for such things. He’s not hungry in the slightest… but still…The realization of that rattles him just a little.  The chasm of inequality between himself and Kunzite has never felt more staggering. ]

Mamoru:  You didn’t bring any lunch.  Want me to get you something?

Zoi:  No.  I really can’t eat anything right now.

Usagi:  You sure?  [holds out an open plastic snack cake package to him]  You can have one of my Tastykakes.

Rei:  You’d better take it. And quickly.  An offer like that from Usagi doesn’t come around very often.

Minako: Truly. This is a momentous occasion.

[Zoi takes a cake and eats glumly while he looks at the empty table where he and Kunzite usually sit. He has no doubt that Kunzite knows exactly what has happened.  He has no doubt Kunzite will hold him to his promise to return to Phoenix at the first sign of of trouble.]

[Still, the sudden infusion of sugar does help.]

Zoi:  I forgot to mention it, but I have to go back to Phoenix.

[The table goes quiet.]

Usagi:  To visit?

[Zoi shakes his head.]

Naru:  When?

Zoi:  Soon. Maybe tonight.

Umino:  For how long?

Zoi:  A while.

[The table goes quiet]

Usagi:  Don’t leave!  You can’t go back to Phoenix!

Zoi:  I’m afraid I don’t get a say in the matter.

Umino:  No!  You can’t go! There must be something we can do!

Zoi:  There isn’t. I tried.  Trust me, I tried.

Naru:  Is this because you broke up with Kunzite?

[Zoi stares at her in stunned silence]

Zoi:  Why would you think I broke up with Kunzite?

Naru:  Oh, I don’t know…you say Kunzite’s angry at you…  your heart is broken… Kunzite’s avoiding you all of a sudden…   You’re leaving town in a hurry…  You’ve got grown men coming to the school to threaten you…

[The others look at Zoi in alarm.]

Zoi:  I didn’t break up with Kunzite!

Mamoru:  So he broke up with you?

Zoi: I…[realizes he doesn’t know how active Kunzite will be in Hen Tie after he leaves so it’s best to say as little as possible.] I…really don’t feel like talking right now.

Mamoru: Well, it’s his loss. [clasps his shoulder]  Just remember, we’re here for you no matter what.

Usagi:  [slides the rest of the packet to him.] Here, you should have the rest of my cake.

[Time passes.  Kunzite is absent for the remainder of lunch. Nor is he there for the beginning of Biology. Zoisite is starting to think he won’t see him in class. But as he starts his lab, Kunzite takes his seat.

[Zoi looks up to talk to him, but Kunzite scoots his chair as far from Zoisite as he can get.  When Zoi stares at him, he stares back with malevolent hatred.]

Kunzite:  How was your lunch with Mamoru Chiba?

Zoi:  [aghast] You’re joking, right?

Kunzite:  Funny.  That’s what I was thinking every time you let him put his hands all over you.

Zoi:  How would you know about that.  You weren’t there!

Kunzite:  So that’s how it is?  The moment I’m gone, you go running to Mamoru Chiba?

Zoi:  He’s just a friend.  You know that.  I’m not allowed to have friends?

Kunzite:  “Friends?”  Is that what you’re calling them now? Friends with benefits is more like it.

[Zoi is practically shaking with fury.  He wants to defend himself against Kunzite’s accusations, but Esmeraude Blackmoon is sitting only a few rows away.]

[Then he realizes the whole reason Kunzite is acting like this is because Esmeraude Blackmoon is only a few rows away.]

Zoi:  At least Mamoru cares about me. Which is more than I can say for you!

Kunzite:  Don’t flatter yourself.  Nobody cares about you.  You’ve never been anything more than a piece of ass to anyone.

Zoi: Yeah…well…you’re….I can’t think of anything to say…

[Tries to concentrate on the lab.]

Kunzite:  I am so sick of your face right now. I should make you walk home, but I’m sure you’d just go running into Chiba’s apartment. 

Zoi:  Oh shut up!

Kunzite:  Don’t talk that way to me.  

Zoi:  Oh, you’re the only one who is allowed to get mad?

Kunzite:  I am not mad at you.

Zoi:  “You’ve never been anything but a piece of ass to anyone”?

Kunzite:  That was simply a statement of fact.  

[Zoi goes back to working on his lab with a scowl on his face]

Kunzite: My mother was right about you.

Zoi: Your mother’s nothing but a wretched old battleaxe!  You should go off and marry her, since that evil bitch is the only one that’s good enough for her big dumb momma’s boy!

Kunzite:  Don’t talk that way about my mother.

Zoi:  To hell with your damned mother!

[For the rest of the class Zoi pretends to smolder with anger.  Actually he doesn’t have to pretend since he’s not completely convinced Kunzite’s putting on an act.  They sit through the class in angry silence, until the bell rings and Kunzite storms out the door, with Zoi rushing to keep up with him.]

Kunzite:  Hurry up.

Zoi:  No.

Kunzite:  Then take the bus home.

Zoi:  Fine. I have to pee anyway.

[He walks into the faculty restroom and Kunzite follows him in.  Zoi locks the door behind them, and before Kunzite can even react, Zoi’s arms reach up to twine around Kunzite’s neck and he welds himself against Kunzite’s stone figure.  Kunzite tries to push him away, but he forces his lips against Kunzite’s.]

[After a halfhearted struggle Kunzite kisses him back, and with far greater passion.]


	12. The Best Laid Schemes

[Scene:  The Hen Tie high faculty bathroom.  Zoi’s confirmed Kunzite still has feelings for him.] 

Zoi:  I knew it.  [secures his arms behind Kunzite’s neck and gives Kunzite a sly look]   I knew you were just trying to trick Esmeraude Blackmoon into thinking you didn’t love me anymore.

Kunzite:  I wasn’t trying to trick Esmeraude Blackmoon.  I was trying to trick you.

Zoi:  You’re going to have to try a lot harder than that…[kisses him] …So why were you trying to trick me?

Kunzite:  I wanted you to break up with me for real.

Zoi:  [frowns] You were mad.

Kunzite:  Yes.

Zoi:  But you—

Kunzite:  I wasn’t mad at you.  Can’t you see that Zoisite?  Don’t you understand?

Zoi:  Understand what?

Kunzite:  That I’m never angry with you – how can I be? Brave, trusting…warm as you are?

Zoi:  Then why?

Kunzite:  I infuriate myself.  The way I can’t seem to keep from putting you in danger.  My very existence has put you at risk.  Sometimes I truly hate myself.  I should have been stronger.  I should have been able to—

[Zoi takes his face in his hands]

Zoi:  I love you. I will always love you.  No matter what happens now.

[He kisses Kunzite with everything he’s got. Kunzite can’t resist kissing him back]

Kunzite:  Damn it, Zoisite, you’ll be the death of me, I swear you will.

Zoi:  You’re indestructible.

Kunzite:  I might have believed that, before I met you.  

[They go back to kissing but eventually Kunzite staggers back and breaks Zoi’s grip easily]

Kunzite:  Now let’s get out of here before we do something really stupid.

Zoi:  I vote we do something really stupid instead.

[Kunzite’s face takes on a wicked smile]

[Zoi unbuckles Kunzite's belt. Kunzite pulls him up for another kiss as he yanks the zipper of Zoi’s sweatshirt down pulls from his shoulders.  He only gets it half way down to his elbows before he freezes with a look of horror on his face and backs away.]

Zoi:  What’s wrong?

[Kunzite trembles and his face takes on a look of animal rage.]

[Zoi looks down and sees that his upper arms are covered in dark red splotches. Some large, most the size of Demande Blackmoon’s fingers. Kunzite pulls the sweatshirt back up.]

Kunzite:  You’re injured…  He hurt you.

Zoi:  [giggles dismissively]  I did it to myself, really.  It’s mostly defensive marks from me trying to get away from him.

[Kunzite doesn’t seem mollified in the slightest. He looks away]

Zoi: Oh that’s nothing. I bruise ridiculously easy.

[Kunzite seems even more upset]

Zoi:  Kunzite?

Kunzite:  You’re leaving tonight! I’m bringing you straight to your mother’s.  You tell your father you can’t stand another minute in Hen Tie so I’m driving you to the airport.  Tell him whatever story works.  Pack only what you need and then get back in the car.  You have fifteen minutes, do you hear me?  Fifteen minutes from the time you cross the doorstep.

Zoi:  [nods] Don’t worry.  I’ve already thought this through.

[Later, in the car]

Kunzite:  So what are you going to tell your parents?

Zoi:  I’m going to tell my father that I’m leaving because he grounded me for two months.  That I called my mother and complained he’s too strict, so she booked me a flight and insisted I come straight home.  

Kunzite:  And what are you going to tell your mother?

Zoi:  I’m going to tell my mother that my father threw me out because it’s too difficult for him to deal with my attention seeking antics and my constant emotional outbursts.

Kunzite:  And when they compare stories?

Zoi:  My parents don’t talk to each other…This isn’t going to be pleasant, but it will work.  [Zoi’s eyes tear up.]  I’m really going to miss it here.

Kunzite:  I thought you hated Hen Tie.

Zoi:  I do, but I’m going to miss my dad.  I’m going to miss my friends.  I never had any friends before I came to Hen Tie.  

[Kunzite has never had any friends either.  He still doesn’t see the point of them.  But Zoi’s sorrow is heartbreaking for him.]

Kunzite: [frowns] There’s something else I can try.  If it works, you’ll be able to return here.

Zoi:  [hopeful]  What is that?

Kunzite:  I’ll ask Mother to make you into a Shitennou. Then you’d be safe from the Blackmoons.  I still think you’re far too young. I would have preferred to wait a decade or so.  But in this case, it can’t be helped.

Zoi:  Yes it can! Your mother hates me, remember?  You’re not supposed to ask your mother for favors.

Kunzite:  This isn’t a favor. This is my right as First Among Kings. She can’t expect me to stand by and do nothing while a pack of lessor beings whittle away at my pride like this.

Zoi:  She won’t do it. You’ve heard her, she thinks I’m another Endymion.  Some spoiled little pet that you brought into her house to make trouble for her.

[Zoi remembers the curse Metalia inflicted on Beryl for her audacity]  

Zoi:  Oh, no!  What if your mother decides to punish you for even asking?

Kunzite:  Zoisite, don’t you dare waste time worrying about me. Your only concern is keeping yourself safe.

Zoi:  If something were to happen to you…how could I live with myself if it’s my fault?

Kunzite: Zoisite. Stop. You’re worried about the wrong things. My mother would not do such a thing. She has only three sons and she needs a fourth. She can’t afford to sacrifice her strongest on a jealous whim.  My only fear is losing you.

Zoi:  Maybe she knows that.  Maybe she’ll punish you by making it so that we can never be together.

Kunzite: For thousands of years I’ve been alone. Now I’ve found you. You can’t see the change in me, not like those who have known me for so long.  None of them would want me to go back to the way I was before.   Mother least of all.

Zoi:  I wish I could believe that… But I see the way she looks at me. She might just turn me over to the Blackmoons just to spite the both of us. [shudders] Why did this happen? Why me?

Kunzite:  It’s my fault.  I was a fool to expose you like this.

Zoi: That’s not what I meant.  I was there at Blackmoon Cove, big deal.  I was surrounded by other, more beautiful, people.  He didn’t bother any of the others.  Why did this Demande decide to go after me?  He’s already got a harem, for godsake. There were people all over the place, why me?

Kunzite:  I’m not sure there is anything you could have done to avoid this, once he saw you.  It is partly your fault.  [Wry]  If you didn’t look so appallingly luscious, he might not have bothered.  But when he discovered his powers don’t work on you, that made it a lot worse.

[Kunzite’s face takes on a look of disgust]

Kunzite:  He’s not used to be thwarted, no matter how insignificant the prize.  He thinks of himself as a Casanova and nothing else.  His existence is consumed with conquest, and a challenge is all he asks out of life.  Suddenly he’s presented with a beautiful challenge.  He meets you. He tries to mesmerize you with his powers of seduction, and you reject him.  That’s never happened to an Alpha of Nemesis.  He’s aroused all the more by it. He sees you at the store in a compromising situation. You can’t believe how euphoric he becomes.  It’s his favorite game and you just made it the most exciting game ever.  He’s not going to stop until he can claim victory.

[Kunzite goes quiet for a while]

Zoi:  Then if he does turn up in Phoenix. I’ll just have to kill him myself before he can try anything!

[Kunzite gives him a dubious look]

Kunzite:  So think you could murder someone in cold blood?

Zoi:  No, but I could definitely kill Demande Blackmoon in selfdefense!

Kunzite:  Really?

Zoi: [looks down] No…probably not.

Kunzite:  Even if you did, the Blackmoons are like hive insects. Their numbers are limited and their primary goal is procreation so they won’t take the death of one their own lightly.  Especially not an Alpha Breeder.  Kill one Blackmoon and the all the others will swarm you until you are dead.

[Slams on the brakes and turns off the headlight.  As he looks at Zoi’s house with an expression of horror, Kunzite mutters something unintelligible in a low, harsh voice.]

Zoi:  What’s wrong.

Kunzite:  They’re here. Inside the house.

Zoi:  Who?

Kunzite:  Demande Blackmoon and his father, Billy.

[Zoi sees the white Bentley parked in his father’s driveway.  Right next to his dad’s squad car.]

 


	13. It’s Gone Awry

Scene:  Outside Zoi’s house.  Kunzite has informed him Justice and Demande Blackmoon are inside the house.]

Zoi:  [outraged] This is crossing the line!  So they’re lying in wait for me?

Kunzite:  No.  They are not lying in wait for you.

Zoi:  Then why… [eyes widen in alarm] DAD!

[He tries to get out of the car, but Kunzite holds his shoulder to restrain him]

Zoi:  Let me deal with this!

Kunzite:  No.  Billy Blackmoon and his son are currently having a heart to heart talk with your father at the kitchen table. Your father isn’t in any danger unless you run in there screaming your head off.  

Zoi: They came to warn my dad about you?

[Kunzite nods. He sits still as a statue, listening, his face filled with disgust.]

Zoi:  So what are they saying?  

Kunzite:  They’re trying to explain how dangerous I am to you. They can’t tell him I’m a Shitennou. Even if he knew what that meant, there is no way he would believe it. So they’re telling them the closest human equivalent they can come up with.

Zoi: So what are they saying?

Kunzite: I’d rather you didn’t know.

Zoi:  I have to know!

Kunzite:  They’re telling your father that I’m involved in the adult entertainment industry.  That I’ve been trying to lure you into doing hardcore adult videos.  First with me. Then with other men.

Zoi:  [goes chalk white]  That’s has got to be his absolute worst nightmare!  [Tries to open the car door but Kunzite reaches over and slams the door.]

Kunzite:  If you run in there and try to deny it, they’ll probably kill you both.

Zoi:  If I don’t run in there, that stuff they are telling him is going to kill him anyway!  

[Still, Zoi settles back in his seat with his eyes closed]

Zoi: He doesn’t believe it, does he?

Kunzite:   [nods] He doesn’t want to believe it.  He’s making it pretty clear he trusts me a lot more than he trusts them.

Zoi:  Oh, thank goodness for that.

Kunzite:  The child is getting out his cell phone.

Zoi:  By “child”, you mean Demande Blackmoon?  He’s nearly a decade older than I am.

Kunzite: Yes. I know.

[Kunzite looks grim]

Zoi:  Are they showing him the video?

Kunzite:  Of course they’re showing him the video.

[For a moment they sit in dreaded silence.]

[Then Zoi tries to get out of the car again.]

[Kunzite pulls him close.]

[Eventually Zoi slumps back in his seat with his eyes closed.]

Zoi:  Does he believe them now?

Kunzite: Oh, yes.

Zoi:  He’s devastated, isn’t he?

[Kunzite nods.]  

[Zoi tries to get out of the car and Kunzite has to restrain him.]

[After a while Kunzite relaxes his grip.]

Zoi:  What’s going on?

Kunzite:  Your father’s pretty upset. Billy’s trying to discuss law enforcement issues with your father, but your father doesn’t seem to be paying much attention to him anymore.

[Zoi chews his fingernails]

Kunzite:  If I let you out of the car, do you promise not to go running in there?

[Zoi nods]

[They get out of the car and with a wave of his hand Kunzite, Zoi and the car all become invisible.  He walks Zoi swiftly to the house just as Justice and Demande Blackmoon are leaving.]

Demande:  Do you think he listened?

Justice Blackmoon:  It’s hard to say.  I thought he listened the last time I told him how to do his job, but it appears he’s getting to be a bit hard of hearing in his old age. Ha, well he should be toeing the line a bit better now that he knows what a dirty little whore his precious Twinkie is.  

Demande: He’s a Shitennou’s whore so it’s not like it’s voluntary on the boy’s part.

Justice Blackmoon: Ah, but his father doesn’t need to know that. [sighs]  It’s a pity I’ve got a soft spot in my heart for that sex-puppet kid of his.  Otherwise we could slice his guts open right in front of his father and his boyfriend and kill two birds with one stone.

Demande:  Hey, leave Zoi out of this.  He’s just a child.  

Justice Blackmoon:  Don’t you be getting any more romantic notions in that silly head of yours.  You’ve done what we can for the boy.  You’re to stay in Blackmoon Cove from now on to keep from getting carried away and doing something stupid.

Demande:  Dad, I’m not going to break the covenant just to get some tail, if that’s what you’re afraid of.  I’m not a complete moron, you know.  Besides, he’s jailbait, and I’m not into jailbait.

Justice Blackmoon: Good.  I’m glad to hear it. If anyone is in a position to help Zoi-zoi, it’s going to have to be his father.

Demande:  I think it’s a moot point anyway. Em called before we left and insists Kunzite O’Sama’s gotten sick of him already.

Justice Blackmoon:  [chuckles] You don’t say?

Demande:  Apparently, Kunzite O’Sama made a big scene in Biology class, complaining he wants nothing more to do with Zoi because he’s so lousy in the sack.

Justice Blackmoon: [chuckles some more] Well, if Kunzite’s controlling him mind and body, who’s fault is that?  [lights up a cigar] It’s a pity though.  It would have been fun dragging Zoi-zoi back to Blackmoon Cove so we could use him as own own living Shitennou voodoo doll.

Demande:  You’re assuming Kunzite ever cared in the first place. He is a Shitennou after all.

Justice Ah well. If that video is any indication, I’d say the kid’s already been screwed enough.

[They chuckle lewdly as they enter the car.]

[As they drive off. Kunzite and Zoi reappear.]

Kunzite:  Interesting.  The child seems genuinely concerned for your safety.

Zoi:  [sarcastic] Gee, what a great guy.  That totally makes up for him shoving his tongue into my mouth… We’d better come up with another plan to get to Phoenix.There is no way my dad would let you drive me to the airport, not after what the Blackmoons have just told him.

[Zoi thinks about everything that has just happened and he smiles up at Kunzite and giggles.]

Zoi: Wait a minute. They think you don’t like me anymore and I never liked you in the first place. They said they were going to leave me alone now, so I don’t have to leave after all!!  See, that trick you pulled in Biology class worked better than you thought… Now all you have to do is erase my dad’s memories and then everything should go back to normal.

[Zoi stops giggling when he sees Kunzite’s grim expression doesn’t even flicker.]

Kunzite:  Billy also said he would like to gut you like a fish, just to take revenge against me.

Zoi:  Yes.. but…

Kunzite:  I’m not erasing your father’s memories.If we’re to keep you safe, it’s best if your father knows exactly what he’s dealing with.

Zoi:  [uneasy frown] What do you mean by “exactly”?

Kunzite:  Let’s get inside, Zoisite.

[Kunzite takes Zoi and draws him into the protective enclosure of his arm as he walks him past the porch and through the front door.]


	14. The Long Goodbye

 [Scene:  The Midori house. Chief Midori is sitting at the table and practically hyperventilating with fury at the sight of Kunzite with his arm around Zoi.]

Kunzite:  Before you say anything, I want to assure you that everything the Blackmoons told you was a lie.  I am not a pimp and I am not a pornographer.  I would never harm your son, and I certainly wouldn’t exploit him or share him with anyone else.  

[Releases Zoi and approaches Chief Midori]

Kunzite:  What I am is a million times worse than either of those things.

[His eyes glow white.]

Kunzite: I am influencing your mind right now, only because I don’t have time for misunderstandings or disbelief.  Look into my eyes and see me for what I truly am.  I am a creature of pure undiluted evil.

[Chief Midori looks at Kunzite and becomes whitefaced with terror and a thousand terrifying images are reflected in the pupils of his eyes.]

Zoi:  That’s not true–

Kunzite: I am completely devoid of goodness and morality. You son cannot see this because I have fallen in love with him, and he monopolizes my compassion.  But, know this. In my desire to possess your son, I have seduced and manipulated him.

Zoi:  Kunzite?  Why are you saying these things?

Kunzite:  I have married your son by the customs of my people and I have lain with him as my husband. I have bound his soul to my own. So great is my obsession that I’ve coaxed him to drop out of school so that we wouldn’t need to be parted for those few hours he’s in the classroom.

Zoi:  You didn’t coax me to drop out of school.

Kunzite:  Yes, I did.

Zoi:  No you didn’t!

Kunzite:  Zoisite! Open your damn eyes!  Why do you think I took you all those places when you were supposed to be in class?

Zoi:  The day we spent in Japan was my fault. I knew you lost track of time, but I didn’t say anything.

Kunzite: I didn’t lose track of time!  I’m incapable of losing track of time!

Chief Midori:  [the terror quickly fading to be replaced by his paternal fury] So it was your idea for him to ditch school?

Kunzite: Yes. I intended to make him drop out altogether so he would become wholly dependent on me. I relented only because I hadn’t counted on how deeply wounded he would be by your disapproval. If I have any weakness, it’s that I can’t bear to see your son unhappy.

Zoi:  But I turned it around!  I’ve had perfect attendance since then and I’m getting all A’s.

Kunzite:  That was all your doing.  It has nothing to do with me.

Zoi:  It has everything to do with you!  I never cared and I still don’t care how well I do in school! I just want to make you proud of me!

[Kunzite turns his attention back to Chief Midori and his eyes glow white]

Kunzite:  Look into my eyes and see the Blackmoons for what they really are.  Comprehend the danger they pose for your son.  Understand why I need to take him far from Hen Tie this very night, and deliver him to Phoenix, where he will be safe.

Chief Midori:  Where he will be safe?  Are you kidding me?  What happens when one of your enemies decides to attack him in Phoenix?  Who is going to keep him safe then?  My ex-wife and her gigolo husband?  No! He’s staying here in Hen Tie where I'll shoot any monster like you that tries to come near him! 

Kunzite:  Very well.  [holds out his hand to Zoi]  I have no choice but to bring him with me to live in the Dark Kingdom.

Chief Midori:  Oh, no, you don’t!  His mother and his grandparents are going to be calling here in a few months wanting to throw him a party for his sixteenth birthday, and I’m not telling them I allowed my only child to drop out of highschool so he can have sex fulltime with some creepy old man in a castle full of monsters!

[Kunzite’s expression doesn’t change but somehow he seems shaken]

Zoi:  Dad!  You don’t understand! We’re in love!  We’re more in love with each other than anyone has ever been in the history of the entire world!

Chief Midori:  [To Kunzite] Listen to him!  He’s fifteen!  He has no business saying things like that at his age!  He should be reading comics and playing at the game center with his friends! Not worrying which of the thousands of his boyfriend’s victims is going to try to kill him tomorrow!

[Kunzite stands as still as a statue.]

Chief Midori: Was it fun for you, Kunzite?  Lying to me and winning my trust, so you could violate my son, practically under my very nose?  I’m sure the two of you had a good laugh about that.  You claim you care about protecting my son, but the greatest danger to him has always been and will always be you!

Kunzite:  Yes. You’re right.  I need to do what I should have done from the beginning.

[Kunzite holds out his hand to Zoi.]

Kunzite: This is your last chance.  Come with me to the Dark Kingdom, or stay here, the choice is yours.

Zoi:  I already told you. I can’t just run off and leave my father to deal with the consequences.

Kunzite:  [turns away] Then I guess this is goodbye.

Zoi:  WAIT!  YOU’RE LEAVING ME?

Kunzite:  Not forever. It will only be a few years.

Zoi:  YEARS?

Kunzite:  Your father is right. You should be with people your own age right now instead playing house and hiding from monsters. I can’t come back until you are old enough to move out of here on your own.

Zoi:  [Crying] No!  Don’t leave me!  You can’t leave me!

[Kunzite turns around and tries to harden his heart.]

Kunzite:  Zoisite. I asked you to choose, and you chose your father over me.

Zoi:  No, you’re asking me to choose between my life and my father, since I can’t live without you!

[Kunzite holds him close to comfort him]

Kunzite:  Zoisite, it’s going to be alright.

Zoi:  [sobbing hysterically] It won’t be alright when I’m not with you.

Kunzite:  I’ll come back for you when you’re old enough.  We’ll be together in another two and a half years.

Zoi:  I won’t survive another two and a half weeks!

Kunzite:  Two and a half years is not a long time.  It will pass in the blink of an eye.

Zoi:  You don’t understand!  In two and a half years I may look completely different than I do now!

Kunzite:  Will you stop loving me if I come back looking differently?

Zoi:  No! But you won’t be come back!   I’ll never see you again!  I can feel it in my bones!  If you leave me tonight, it will be forever!

Kunzite:  [whispers] It won’t be forever, I promise.  In fact, if I’m able to persuade Mother to protect you, I may be back tomorrow morning.

Zoi:  You won’t persuade her.  She hates me.  I know it.  

Kunzite: [releases Zoi and holds out his hand] Give me your phone.

[Zoi hands him his phone and a blue glows surrounds it]

Kunzite: There.  I’ve put a number in there where you can reach me if you find yourself in grave danger.  Memorize that number, in case you lose this phone.  But know this.  If you call that number, I will appear to bring you straight to the Dark Kingdom, and I will never bring you back.  Use that number only if it is a dire emergency, or when you are finally prepared to leave this world behind forever.

[Zoi takes the phone and Kunzite catches him up in his iron grip, crushing Zoi to him, pulling Zoi up onto his tiptoes.  He pulls Zoi’s face up to his.  His lips press against Zoi’s. Then it is over.  He sets Zoi down, but does not release his face, his eyes burning into his.]

[Then his eyes go black, curiously dead, and he turns away.]

Kunzite:  Goodbye, Zoisite.

[In a flash of magenta, Kunzite is gone.]


	15. Why Does My Heart Go On Beating?

[Scene:  Chief Midori’s squad car.  Chief Midori is driving.  Zoi is sitting in the passenger seat.  His eyes are closed and he looks deathly ill.]

Chief Midori:  You didn’t eat dinner last night.

Zoi:  I’m not hungry.

Chief Midori:  I’ll drive through and pick you up some breakfast on the way to school.  What would you like?

Zoi:  I don’t care.  Get me whatever you want.

Chief Midori:  Are you angry at me?

Zoi:  Why would I be angry at you?

Chief Midori:  I thought maybe… you know… you blamed me…for, you know…

Zoi:  No.  I don’t blame you for that. If Kunzite wanted to stay, there is nothing you could have done to make him leave.

Chief Midori:  I’m glad you’re wise enough to realize that.

Zoi:  [bitter] I’m not.

[Chief Midori looks at Zoi who just sits there, lifeless, with his eyes closed.]

Chief Midori:  You’re not the first person to go through this sort of thing, you know.

Zoi:  I know that.

Chief Midori:  Listen, I think maybe that – that you need some help.

Zoi:  Help?

Chief Midori:  When your mother left, and took you with her, that was a really bad time for me.

Zoi: I know, Dad.

Chief Midori:  But I handled it.  Honey, you’re not handling it.

Zoi:  I’m fine.

Chief Midori:  Maybe, well maybe if you talk to someone about it. A professional.

Zoi:  [his eyes open] You want me to see a shrink?

Chief Midori:  Maybe it would help.

Zoi:  Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t that sort of thing only work if the subject is relatively honest? If I try to explain everything that happened they’re going to put me in a padded cell.

[Besides that, Zoi has no intention of learning to be happy without Kunzite.  If Kunzite thinks he’ll be able to lead a productive life without him, he intends to prove him wrong.]

Chief Midori:  I’ll come get you right after school.

Zoi:  Yes, I know.  I’m still grounded.

Chief Midori:  You’re not grounded.  I need to keep you safe from the Blackmoons.

Zoi:  The Blackmoons are done with me.  They’ve said so themselves.

Chief Midori:  I’m not taking any chances.  I’m going to stop working these long hours and stay home with you so I can guard you like a hawk.  [The fastfood place comes into view]  Have you decided what you wanted?

Zoi:  [sighs]  Get me two breakfast sandwiches, an order of hashbrowns, an orange juice, and a fruit and yogurt parfait.

[Chief Midori smiles to see his son is on the mend.]

[A short time later Zou walks into homeroom with his bag of food and holds it open for Umino.]

Zoi:  Want some free food?  Take as much as you want.

Umino:  I don’t want to take your breakfast.

Zoi:  I don’t want any of it.

Umino:  Ok, if you insist.

[Umino takes a breakfast sandwich and the orange juice.  He hold the bag out to Rei, who is staring, and she takes the yogurt parfait.]

[Zoi walks over to Usagi’s desk and drops off the bag of fast food with her.]

[Usagi’s eyes light up as she goes rooting through the bag.  Mamoru follows Zoi back to his desk.]

[Zoi takes his seat and looks up at Mamoru.]

Zoi:  Can I help you with something, Mamoru?

Mamoru:  A group of us are going to see that new Zombie movie tomorrow night.  I was wondering if you wanted me to buy you a ticket?

Rei:  [outraged]  Hey, nobody invited me!

Umino:  [mutters]  Don’t feel bad, nobody ever invites me.

Mamoru: [breaks into a sweat] Yes, well…it’s a small group.

Zoi:  How small of a group are we talking?

Mamrou: Just Usagi and me.

Zoi:  [blinks] You’re inviting me on one of your dates with Usagi?

Mamoru:  Usagi won’t mind.

[Zoi looks back at Usagi, who is smiling all chipmunk-cheeked at Zoi with two thumbs up.]

Zoi:  Of course she will mind!  Are you really that stupid?  

Mamoru: [looks back a Usagi with a sheepish expression] Look, you’d be doing me a favor.  She’s been a bit too clingy lately.

Zoi: Usagi’s been a bit too clingy? [bursts into tears] How dare she have such deep and genuine feelings for you!  Here’s a suggestion: if you want her to leave you alone, why don’t you reach into her chest, pull out her heart, and stomp on it!  That will teach her not to love someone so much!  Or better yet, since you’re so desperate to hurt her, why don’t you just grab a knife and stab her in the heart a few times!  That would be a lot kinder!  

[Umino and Rei’s eyes go wide as Zoi sobs into his desk while Mamoru tiptoes away with a mortified expression on his face.]

Rei:  Kunzite really messed him up, didn’t he?

[Umino waits a respectful amount of time and then taps Zoi on the shoulder.  Zoi looks up with tearstained eyes]

Umino:  Will you come and sit with us at lunch today?

Zoi:  That won’t be much fun for you.

Umino:  You’re my friend.  I don’t care if it’s fun for me or not…  Besides, if you don’t feel like talking about it, we can use the time to study for our French test.

[Zoi gives him a half smile. Umino is a true friend.  Zoi’s starting to rethink his strategy of failing all his classes on purpose, just to get back at Kunzite and his father.]

[Zoi sits with his friends at lunch, feeling a little guilty since he know that if Kunzite so much as walks through the cafeteria, he’s taking off after him like a bullet and leaving the rest of them behind.  Kunzite doesn’t show up for lunch.]

[He doesn’t show up for Biology class either.  Mr. Tomoe doesn’t even say his name during roll.]  

[Zoi allows his tears to flow freely as he sits alone at their table.  Neffy is sitting in the back, chuckling under his breathe and grinning like a Cheshire cat while Esmeralde Blackmoon gives him a hate-filled stare.]

[Zoi ignores them to work on his lab.]

[When he looks up fifteen minutes later, Esmeralde Blackmoon hasn’t budged an inch.  She is still giving him the same hate-filled look. It’s as though she’s been frozen by a gorgon.  He looks away and then quickly looks at her again.]

[Same hate-filled stare.]  

[It’s so unnerving Zoi almost forgets to be despondent.]

[The bell rings and they leave. Neffy passes by him, chuckling under his breath

Zoi:  What’s so damn funny?

Neffy:  Kunzite thought he had to kidnap you to protect you from the Blackmoons.  The Blackmoons thought they had to kidnap you to protect you from Kunzite.  The funny part is—neither of them were wrong.

[Neffy laughs as he vanishes into the crowd.]

[Finally the day is done. Zoi climbs into his father’s squad car and goes home.  He immediately goes up to his room and looks in his photobox.]  

[The contents are not different than the day before. He hadn’t expected any new pictures, but he’d hoped for a gift, a note, any sign that Kunzite hadn’t completely forsaken him.]

[Zoi has a feeling he will never receive such a sign.]  

[A clean break.That’s what Kunzite wanted, and that was what he had gotten. ]

[Zoi puts Skeeter Davis’s “End of the World” on continuous loop as he pulls out his scrapbook and studies the photos of himself with Kunzite.  He holds the book nearly an arm’s length from his face, careful not to get his tears all over the pages.]


	16. A Change of Pace

 [Scene:  The Midori house.  More than a week has passed without any sign of Kunzite.  Zoi’s longing for him burns like a glowing coal in his heart.  He wakes up missing Kunzite, and Kunzite fills his every thought.  In the few minutes where the heartache almost seems bearable, something comes along which just stirs it up again.]  

[It makes him angry to know Kunzite isn’t feeling the same way about him.  If he did, there is no way Kunzite could bear to stay apart from him. Especially since there has been no trouble from Demande Blackmoon.  Demande’s been staying in Blackmoon Cove, and Zoi considers that a mixed blessing. ]

[On the one hand–no more Demande Blackmoon. ]

[On the other hand, he wanted to prove Kunzite wrong about how his leaving Hen Tie would be best for everyone.]

[Chief Midori comes to breakfast.  Zoi is stirring a few soggy flakes of cereal in a bowl with some milk to trick his father into thinking he’s eaten.]

Chief Midori: Morning.  [grabs a pan of leftovers]  I’m going to be busy on Friday, so I think you should make plans to stay out as late as you can with your friends that day.

Zoi: [mopes as he sloshes the spoon around] I don’t understand, Dad. First you want me to stay home, then you want me to go out?

[Chief Midori gives him a hard look]

Chief Midori:  I want to see you happy.  No, not even that much.  I want to see you not miserable.

Zoi:  I’m staying home.

Chief Midori:  I’m going to be working around the house. You’ll be in the way.  

Zoi:  What sort of work?

Chief Midori:  [averts his eyes] I found a hole in the wall on the second story where the rats have been burrowing in. I’m afraid they are in the walls.  

[Zoi is so numb that he doesn’t even cringe at the mention of rats.]

Chief Midori:  I’m going to need to get on a ladder and do some fumigation and repairs.  I’d let you help, but we both know how accident prone you are…

Zoi:  I think I can manage to hold a ladder for a few minutes.

Chief Midori:  Look I really want you out of the house on Friday. [Pulls out his wallet and hands Zoi a stack of twenties]  This should be enough to keep a small group entertained for hours.   Why don’t you hang out with your friends at the Crown Center?  Doesn’t a friend of yours work there?  A senior named Motoki Something or other?  And you might want to call up your friend Mamoru and see what he’s up to–

Zoi:  Dad.  Don’t you dare try to fix me up.  I’m not interested in dating. And I’m certainly not interested in dating Mamoru!  He’s got a girlfriend!

Chief Midori:  Oh…I wasn’t trying to fix you up. It’s just… I want you to stay out late…and if you’re going to stay out late, I’d feel a lot better knowing you’re surrounded by a bunch of strong guys who can hold their own in a fight.

Zoi: [dubious] Really, Dad? Because in the past, you’ve always given me the exact opposite impression.

Chief Midori: [sighs] Look,.. I lied, ok? I’m not working on the house on Friday….  

Zoi:  Oh?

Chief Midori:  Justice Blackmoon is coming over here to talk business at lunchtime on Friday…

Zoi: Oh.

Chief Midori:  There won’t be any trouble.  Now that I’ve seen his true colors, I’ve been doing exactly what I’m told, but I don’t want him anywhere near you.  He should be long gone before school gets out, but I want you to stay out as late as possible that night, just in case.

Zoi: Oh.

Chief Midori:  In fact, I called this meeting to discuss my options. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep doing this. On the one hand, knowing what I know now, I’m considering announcing my retirement to get out of this mess altogether.  

[His father is staring so Zoi eats a few soggy flakes]

Chief Midori:  On the other hand, if I retire, he’s just going to replace me with someone else.  Maybe a Blackmoon.  Then things could get a lot worse. And I won’t able to do a thing about it anymore.

[Zoi feels a little queasy from the flakes.  He stopped being hungry after day three of his secret hunger strike.]

Chief Midori:  You know, maybe it’s not so bad working for the Blackmoons after all.  I just need to stop thinking of them as evil monsters intent on corrupting the law, and more like a sovereign people with rules of all their own.  After all if you really think about it, they are the natives here.  Native Americans in fact.  They’ve been in Hen Tie thousands of years before the Mayflower came to Plymouth Rock.  Who are we to force our laws and beliefs on them?

Zoi: That makes sense. 

[He knows his Dad isn’t really talking to him as anything more than a soundingboard. Zoi looks at the ring on his thumb. He doesn’t want to wear it anymore.  It reminds him too much of Kunzite and their fake marriage.  He’s certain the ankle bracelet he got Kunzite went into the trash a long time ago.   But every time he tries to take it off, his thumb feels naked so he puts it back on again.  It’s getting loose.  He’s worried when he loses more weight it might fall off and get lost. ]

Chief Midori: And is what they are doing really so wrong? It’s arrogant to assume we know better than they do. I suppose to them, we look like the monsters.  All they want to do is survive, if you really think about it.  Here they are, strangers in a strange world, on a planet where their numbers were thinned out to begin with, only to be completely decimated upon arrival…  

[Looks at Zoi looking at his ring.]

Chief Midori: …largely thanks to your genocidal exboyfriend and his family of serial killers—

[Zoi stares murder at his father]

Zoi:  Can we not talk about Kunzite?  

Chief Midori: [uncowed] You can’t keep waiting for him.

Zoi:  I’m not waiting for anything.  I don’t expect anything

Chief Midori:  Zoi–

Zoi:  [dumps his bowl into the sink] I have to get to school.

[Later at lunch.  Zoi is sipping a can of ice tea and trying his hardest not to look morose.]

Minako:  [taps his arm as she comes by with a tray of salad] Zoi, my he-bitch! Have you lost weight?

Zoi:  Yeah, I think so.  

Minako:  How much have you lost so far?

Zoi:  About one-sixty-five, literally overnight. I’ve only got about another hundred and fifteen left to go.

Minako:  Well, you look great.

Rei:  [takes her seat]  No he doesn’t.  He looks like crap. I can count his ribs through his shirt.

Minako:  Yeah, well that’s the look, you harlot.  What’s your secret, manwhore? 

Zoi:  A lot of heartache and depair.

Minako:  An emo diet. I’ll have to try that.  Every time I get a modeling job I have to live off lemonade and sawdust for twelve days beforehand.

Usagi:  Come help us brainstorm. Zoi’s dad wants him out of the house Friday night.  

Naru:  Know of any wild parties?

Zoi:  No wild parties.  I’m not in a wild party sort of mood.

Mamoru:  You could come out to the garage with me and help me fix up the vintage motorcycle I just bought.

Zoi:  That might be dangerous for the both of us.

Usagi:  There is a bakery opening up in downtown and they are having an all you can eat cake party.  [everyone stares at her] What?

Mamoru: Only you would think an all you can eat cake eating party is an appropriate all night event.

Usagi:  Not so!  The others just won’t admit it!

Zoi:  There must be a good way to kill a few hours in Hen Tie that doesn’t involve me talking to strangers or stuffing my face with food.

Minako:  Yeah, there is. You get in a car, and you drive someplace else.  

Naru:  [sighs] It’s too bad Hen Tie doesn’t have any good clubs, or even a shopping mall.

Usagi:  There’s always the Crown Center.

Zoi:  I really don’t feel like standing or around watching people play games, or sitting around listening to other people singing drunken karaoke.

Naru:  How about a movie?

Zoi:  It would have to be several movies. I can’t even think of even one movie I’d pay money to see right now.

Minako:  There’s a Pandora Idol concert at the sports arena. I’m not going, but one of my very best friends is a roadie so I might even be able to get you backstage.

Zoi:  Not really in the mood for a concert.

Rei:  What DO you want to do, then?

Zoi:  I want to go home, and lie on my own bed, and do my homework.

Usagi:  Can’t help you there.  I’d invite you to lie around and read manga in my room with me, but I’m grounded right now because I’m failing English.

Umino:  You can come over and crash out at my house, if you’d like. It’s Jeopardy DVR night so my whole family’s just going to sit around, and eat pizza, and play along with this week’s worth of Jeopardy episodes.

Zoi:  [blinks] Actually…that sounds like a lot of fun.

Umino:  Huh?  Really?

[Zoi nods and smiles faintly]

Umino:  [wears an uneasy expression] Sorry, but I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.

Zoi:  Why would I be sarcastic?  A Jeopardy marathon is exactly what I’m in the mood for.

Umino:  Really?  

[Zoi nods and smiles again]

Umino:  [becoming convinced he’s not being pranked] Oh.  Great.  I’ll just have to let my mom and dad know.

Zoi:  I have to warn you.  I’m pretty good at Jeopardy.

Umino:  Not as good as I am.

Zoi:  So you think they’ll be okay with it?

Umino:  Oh, they’ll be okay with it.

Rei: Ha! Yeah they will be!

Minako: That dweeb’s parents have probably been waiting a decade for him to bring someone cool home from school with him.

Naru:  Oh, be quiet you bullies. [to Zoi] Let me know how it goes, maybe I’ll catch the next one.

[For the first time in a few weeks, Zoi doesn’t have to force a smile.]


	17. The Other Side of the Story

[Scene:  Trig class.  Zoi is taking notes as the teacher writes on the board.  Jeddy hisses to get his attention, then throws a paper star that lands on Zoi’s desk.  Zoi unfolds the note.]  

HE MISSES YOU  

[Zoi crumples the note into a ball.  He knows it’s a lie.  Kunzite doesn’t miss him at all.  He’s probably in their secret meadow with some other gullible virgin explaining how though he’s been with a lot of people, he hasn’t yet found his one true love.]

[Damn Kunzite, and damn Jeddy for making him cry in math class.]

[After class in the hallway Jeddy catches up to Zoi.]

Jeddy: [accusatory] Why haven’t you called Kunzite?  

Zoi: What?

Jeddy: He’s starting to think you don’t love him.

Zoi:  [sarcastic] So Kunzite misses me, does he?

Jeddy:  Kunzite’s as sick as a dog.  He roams around his castle pining for you.  He looks like he’s going to die.  

Zoi:  [smiles] Really?

Jeddy:  You seem pretty pleased about that.

Zoi:  I am pleased!  He deserves to suffer! HE dumped ME.

Jeddy:  He dumped you for your own protection.  Billy Blackmoon and Kunzite go way back. You’re alive right now only because they think Kunzite’s finished with you.  The Blackmoons are watching, so Kunzite doesn’t dare visit you, not even in secret.  

Zoi:  He could have found some way to let me know he still cares.

Jeddy:  No he can’t.  He doesn’t trust himself to stay away from you.  He’d rather break your heart than do anything that might put you in danger.He can’t even bear to spy on you, so he doesn’t know if you are alive or dead half the time. Why haven’t you called him?

Zoi:  He told me if I called him, he’d take me away and never bring me back.

[Jeddy just stands there waiting like there is a second half to that sentence.]

Zoi:  I can’t leave here.

Jeddy:  Why not?

Zoi:  Because I have a family!

Jeddy:  If you loved him as much as he loves you, you’d be willing to leave all that behind.

Zoi:  It’s not that simple.  My parents went through an ugly divorce.  My father is responsible for me right now. I can’t just vanish into thin air. He’s going to get into a lot of trouble.

Jeddy:  So?  

Zoi:  So?

Jeddy: That’s not your problem.

Zoi:  Yes it is. I care about my dad.

Jeddy:  And when you get killed by the Blackmoons?  Do you think your dad’s going to be any better off after that?

Zoi:  That’s different.  

Jeddy: Why?

Zoi:  It won’t be me that does it to him…  Tell Kunzite to come back here if he really does love me.  Even if he has to do it in secret.  

Jeddy:  Kunzite can’t protect you from the Blackmoons.

Zoi: So what? I don’t care.  Tell Kunzite it’s not his job to protect me from the Blackmoons.  If Kunzite loves me the way I love him, he wouldn’t run off and leave me to die alone.  He’d stay with me until the end.

Jeddy:  Kunzite’s been busy.  He’s trying to convince Mother to turn you into a Shitennou.

Zoi:  [makes a sour face]  She won’t do it.  She hates me.

Jeddy:  [smiles] Ha! That’s an understatement!

[It stings Zoi to hear his worst fears confirmed.]

Jeddy:  It’s not just you as a person she hates.  She hates the effect you have on Kunzite.  He hasn’t even killed a servant in the whole time he’s known you.  You’re making him…sweetnatured.  

[Jeddy shudders]  

Jeddy: She can’t have that.   She’s told him repeatedly she won’t elevate you, but Kunzite can be really pigheaded when he wants to be.  She’d curse him for his insolence, but she can’t think of anything that would amuse her more than letting him watch you grow old or die.

Zoi:  So there is no hope?

Jeddy:  None.

Zoi:  That’s what I thought.

Jeddy: Though here’s my advice–If you ever want to be a Shitennou you better learn to stop worrying about everyone’s problems but your own.  

[Jeddy sighs.]  

Jeddy: It is pity. I would have loved to have had you as a baby brother.

Zoi: [smiles warmly] Really?

Jeddy:  I’m so sick of being the youngest and the smallest.  It would be great to have someone a lot weaker than me in the house so I can have someone to pick on for a change.

[Zoi just stands there as Jeddy walks away]

[At lunch Zoi buys a bowl of vegetable soup.  He eats slowly, to acclimate himself to food again.  He’s still morose, but there is a glimmer of hope to it. Kunzite still loves him, in his own self-defeating and misguided way, and it has given him a new lease on life.]

[For the rest of the week he resumes eating normally, knowing that Kunzite still has feelings and they might actually see one another again, despite the bitter feeling he can’t seem to shake that tells him that won’t happen.] 

[He still cries himself to sleep, but more from loneliness than despair.  He was wrong about Kunzite not missing him. Maybe he’s wrong about that as well?]

[Finally Friday comes around.  Zoi sits at his table in Biology class.  He’s finished his lab, so he’s opened his book and is gazing at a picture of himself and Kunzite he has tucked between the pages.]

[It’s a funny picture, so he brought that one because it makes him smile.  It shows Kunzite and Zoi at the beach in Hawaii. Zoi’s brow is furrowed as he lies on his towel and stares at his book while doing his Trigonometry homework, with Kunzite lying there with his eyes closed, a contented smile and not a care in the world, using Zoi’s back as a pillow.]

[A hand reaches out and swipes the photo]

[Zoi looks back in outrage and meets a pair of hate-filled brown eyes]

Esmeraude: [glances at the picture then glares back at Zoi]  Well isn’t this interesting.

 


	18. The Black Sheep of the Blackmoons

[Scene:  Biology class.  Esmeraude Blackmoon has swiped a picture from Zoi]

Mr. Tomoe:  Esmeraude! get in back in your seat!

[Laughs like a madwoman as she stuffs the picture down the front of her dress]

Esmeraude:  Sure.  No problem.

[She tried to saunter back to her table, but Zoi grabs her arm]

Zoi:  Give that back!

Esmeraude:  Get your hand off me, retard!  [Pushes his hand away]  I can’t wait to show this photo to my sweet prince.

Zoi:  Yeah?  Well I’ll bet your sweet prince goes around telling everyone his brother is a much better kisser then you are.

[Esmeraude’s lip quivers, since the truth hurts,, but she quickly recovers her composure.] 

Esmeraude:  You may have Demande and Uncle Billy fooled into thinking you are so sweet and innocent.  But you’re not sweet or innocent at all, are you?  You’re nothing but a conniving bitch!

Mr Tomoe:  Zoi, Emeraude!  Stop disrupting the class or I’m sending you both to the principal’s.

Zoi:  [snarls] Give me back my picture or I’m going in there after it!

Esmeraude:  [snarls back] You wouldn’t dare!

Zoi:  [evil giggle]  Oh, don’t worry. There is only one thing you’ve got in there that’s of any interest to me.

[Neffy looks over, his blue eyes big with alarm]

Neffy:  Hey! Cut that out you two.

[Neffy drifts over with Motoki close behind him and Motoki whispers in Zoi’s ear]

Motoki:  Zo, I wouldn’t argue with Esmeraude if I were you. She’s eeking-fray ikotic-say.

Esmeraude: [claws at Motokis eyes] Maybe so but I’m not so crazy that I don’t know pig latin! [resumes her evil cackle]

[Zoi takes advantage of the melee to stick his finger in her neckline and peek down.  Esmeraude screams and clutches at her chest before she snarls and grabs him by the ponytail.]

Esmeraulde:  Nobody’s allowed to peek down my bodice except for one man, and he certainly isn’t you! [screams with laughter] Let’s see how much he likes looking at you once I’ve snatched you bald!

[Zoi grabs two fistfuls of Esmeraude’s green hair.  But now the entire class is watching in morbid interest.]

Mr Tomoe:  Last warning!  All four of you get back in your seats!

[Zoi and Emerauide are too busy with their savage tug of war to pay any attention until Motoki grabs Esmeraude by the waist and Neffy grabs Zoi by the waist and pulls them apart.]

Tomoe:  Esmeraulde and Zoi, that’s it!  I’m sending you right to the principal’s office.

[Esmeraude continues to kick toward Zoi and screams with rages while Zoi just gives her a catty smile from under Neffy arm]

Neffy:  Ladies, I demand you stop this catfighting this very instant.

Mr Tomoe:  Esmeraude!  Principal’s office!  Now!

Esmeraude:  [sooths her hair back into place] Fine, I’m going. I’m going.

[Neffy sets Zoi down and walks off as Esmeraude saunters to her lab table.  She pretends like she’s going for her purse, but instead she pounces onto the table like a cat and screams out her madwoman cackles.  She tosses her hair back then stikes a pose as bolts of dark lightning build between her hands.]

[The class is backing away, uncertain of what to make of this.]

Esmeraude:  TIME FOR YOU TO DIE!

[The class screams and hides under their tables as she hurls a ball of green energy at Zoi, who is too stunned to duck out of the way.  The class is screaming in earnest now.  Zoi can only cringe a little as the crackling green glow fills his vision and makes his skin and hair sting like nettles as it approaches like a meteor of pure energy.]

[A moment before impact, a silhouette comes hurling impossibly fast ahead of the glowing ball of energy and and sweeps Zoi’s feet out from under him, causing the ball of glowing green energy to barely miss him, taking out a large chunk of the wall behind where he had been standing just an instant before.  The fire alarm goes off, but the class is too terrified to evacuate and instead have all taken cover.]  

[For a few seconds Zoi can only lay there with the wind knocked out of him. Then he turns his head to see who his savior is. A man in a sportcoat with long reddish-brown hair gives him a bemused look as he lies doubled over like he has a massive stomach cramp.]

Zoi:  Neffy?

[Neffy gives him a “yeah, whatever” wave of the hand.]

Esmeraude:  What the hell?  Shitennou, you’re not allowed to interfere!

Neffy:  [through gritted teeth] Yeah.  Tell me about it.

Esmeraude: [builds up another bolt] He needs to die!  He’s brought nothing but trouble since the moment he came here!  The world would be a much better place without him in it!

[Neffy groans but despite his obvious pain he leaps to his feet and yanks Zoi by the arm out of the way of the second blast]

Neffy:  Kid get behind me.

[Holds out his arms to shield Zoi.]

Esmeraude:  What the hell!  You can’t interfere!  It’s against the laws of both our people!

Neffy:  I’m not disagreeing with anything you’re saying.  Especially how he needs to die and the world would be a better place without him.  But you can’t just attack him in front of me like this and expect me to do nothing about it.

Esmeraude:  Why not!  Why are you protecting him?

Neffy:  Um…well… he’s family.

Mr Tomoe:  [remarkably unbothered by the general mayhem taking place in his classroom]  Esmeraude Blackmoon!  Stop this nonsense at once!  You are looking at another expulsion!

[Esmeraude thinks a moment, then shrugs and leaps off her desk.]

Esmeraude: [sooths her hair back]  Fine, you know what?  You’re right. He’s not worth this sort of aggravation. I need to fix my hair anyway.

[Her voice is so lucid that the students peek out from under their tables to gather up their things and Neffy goes back to his seat.]

[Esmeraude grins as she digs through her purse as if looking for a brush and pulls out a switchblade. She advances toward Zoi with a crazy look in her eyes as a wicked looking blade flicks up.]

[Zoi didn’t have time to do more than scream as she lunges at Zoi with the blade held high overhead]

Esmeraude: DIE BITCH!

[The blade comes stabbing down.  He’s vaguely aware of a shadow flickering into the periphery of his vision as he cowers and covers his face with his hands.  He waits for impact but it doesn’t come.  Then he hears Esmeraude scream in hysterical terror.]

[Zoi:  looks up and sees Neffy standing over him, as still as a statue, with Esmeraude Blackmoon’s knife impaled completely through his hand.]

[Esmeraude is backing away in abject terror, shaking like a leaf.]

Esmeraude:  NO! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!  IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!

[Esmeraude’s clutching her forehead and screaming her head off, before running in circles and then dematerializing.]

[The rest of the class doesn’t notice because they are to busy screaming and running for the door.]

[The fire alarm is still blaring.  Zoi looks around and he sees they’re alone.  Everyone has already fled except for him and Neffy.]

Neffy:  [grabs the handle of the knife] Damn Kunzite and damn his f’ing curses.

Zoi: Are you ok?  

Neffy:  Yeah, sure kid.  I’m fine.  I just have a knife through my hand.

[Neffy grits his teeth and pulls the knife out.]

Zoi:  Do you need an ambulance?

[They watch as the hole closes up leaving a scar in his palm]

Neffy:  No, kid.  What I need is a drink.

[As they walk out of the class to the evacuation point, a flask appears in Neffy hand.  He takes a long swallow and then offers it to Zoi, who shrugs it away.]

Zoi:  Is the covenant broken?

Neffy:  [laughs dismissively] No.  Of course not.  You heard her. It was an accident.  [The flask vanishes]  It was you she tried to kill.  I just happened to get in her way.

Zoi:  Thank you for saving me.

Neffy:  Don’t thank me, kid.  It’s not like I had a choice.

Zoi:  What do you mean you didn’t have a choice?  Of course you had a choice.

Neffy:  Yeah… no.

[Zoi gives Neffy a question look but Neffy just vanishes]

[Zoi goes outside to the assembly point where the students are waiting to be picked up by their parents]

Student 1:  Does anyone know what happened?

Student 2:  I heard an explosion.  I think it was a bomb.

Student 3: I heard there was an accident in Mr. Tomoe’s biology class.  Someone mixed some chemicals together and caused an explosion.

Student 4:  I heard Esmeraude Blackmoon was the one that caused it.

Student 5: I was there and she did it on purpose.  She made a bomb in lab class and threw it at the wall because she was trying to blow the school up.

Student 2:  She’s going to get expelled again for sure.

Student 1:  She does this sort of thing a lot. I wonder why she never goes to jail?

[Zoi feels a tug on the back of his shirt.  He practically jumps out of his skin]

Umino:  There you are, Zoi.  We’ve been waiting for you.  My parents’ car is over there.

Zoi:  [looks around for signs of Blackmoon]  I’m not sure it’s safe—

Umino:  Of course it’s not safe.  That’s why we have to get out of here.

[Zoi checks nervously over his shoulder.  On the one hand he wants to get as far away as possible, as quickly as possible.  On the other hand, he saw Esmeraude vanish and he’s nervous he might be followed.  He’d hate to inflict something as foul as the Blackmoons upon Umino and his family, just for being kind enough to take him in for an evening.]

[Nevertheless he follows Umino to the waiting line of cars, sniffing the air for traces of Esmeraude Blackmoon’s telltale jasmine perfume.   He’s too preoccupied with worry to give more than the most inattentive and mechanical of introductions to Umino’s parents.  It’s only when they are in the car and Zoi looks back and sees nobody has followed them for several miles that he allows himself to look forward and breath a sigh of relief.]

 


	19. This is Jeopardy

[Scene: the Umino household. Umino and Zoi are on the couch playing a console game while waiting for Umino’s father to return with the pizzas. Zoi and Umino are laughing since Zoi’s pretty terrible at the game so it’s been mostly slapstick comedy.]

Umnio:  To the left, send her after the guy who is shooting fireballs at me!

Zoi:  She’s trying to get there.

Umino:  It doesn’t look like she’s trying to get there.  It looks like she’s had a bit too much to drink.

Zoi:  I think there’s something wrong with my controller.

Umino:  There’s nothing wrong with the controller, except you don’t know how to use it…nice combo.  You uncovered a secret attack. How did you do that?

Zoi:  I have no idea.  I’m just hitting buttons at random.

Umino:  Hey, stop throw darts at me.  We’re allies.

Zoi:  You should be smart enough to get out of my way.

Umino:  You’re even worse at video games than you are at real sports.  I didn’t think that was possible.

Zoi:  Do you have any sniper games?  I’m a really good shooter.

Umino:  I don’t believe you.

Zoi:  It’s true.  My dad’s a cop, remember?  I’ve been shooting bottles off fenceposts even before I could walk.

Mr. Umino:  Pizza’s here.

[Umino’s older brother and his fiance come in with a stack of plates and his mother and younger sister come in with cans of softdrinks. They turn off the game while the family assembles in the living room and Umino’s mother starts the DVR.]

Umino:  Zoi thinks he’s good at Jeopardy, so I think we should play teams.  Me vs. everyone else.

Zoi:  [giggles] You’re pretty cocky.

Umino:  It’s not cocky if I can back it up.

Sister:  [peeks in a box]  Ew!  Who got pineapple, ham, and jalapeno?

Zoi:  That’s mine.  

Sister:  Yuck.  Are you pregnant?

Zoi: No. It’s Hawaiian style.

Sister:  That’s just gross.

Zoi:  You have clearly never tried it.

Brother’s Fiancé:  I want to try it.

Brother:  Me too.

Mrs. Umino:  Shush, they’re getting ready to read the categories.

TV:  “First we have the Bible, next Rock Music, Literature, World Facts, Food & Drink, and finally a little bit of everything, the Potpourri category.

Umino:  [groans] The Bible?  Not again.  I may actually miss a question or two.

Mrs. Umino:  [To Zoi.]  You don’t have to answer in the form of a question.

TV:  “This duo’s ‘Love Will Keep Us Together’ won a 1975 Grammy for record of the year.”

Umino, Mrs. Umino, Mr. Umino:  The Captain & Tennille!  

Zoi:  [at the same time] Who are Captain & Tennille?

Sister:  She said you don’t have to answer in the form of a question!

Zoi:  It’s a hard habit to break.

TV:  *time out buzzer*

Mrs. Umino:  How did they not know that?  Even I got that one.

TV:  “In ‘Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea’ the name of the captain of the Nautilus means ‘nobody’”

Umino:  Nemo!  

Zoi: [same time] Wh—Nemo.

Umino:  And the language is Greek in case anyone is wondering. Nemo was also the name used by Ulysses when he tricked the cyclops—

Sister:  Shut up, Gurio! We can’t hear the questions!

Umino:  You never get any of them anyway.

Sister:  I might if you didn’t keep talking over the TV!

TV:  “The key on Cuba’s coat of arms symbolizes that it is the key to this Gulf.”

Brother:  Persian?

Umino & Zoi: Mexico.

Mrs. Umino: [to Zoi] You are good at this game.  I think you’re tied with Gurio.

Umino:  That’s because we’re still in the easy questions.  Once they start picking ones higher than 400, I’ll leave him in the dust.

Zoi:  [giggles] We’ll see about that.

TV:  “The University of this Bulgarian capital was founded in 1888.”

Umino: Sofia.  

TV:  “Simon Bolivar’s birthplace is a major tourist attraction in this Venezuelan capital.”

Umino:  Caracas.   You were saying, Zoi?

TV:  “At the end of a Sinclair Lewis novel this physician retires to a Vermont Farm to make serum.”

Umino:  Martin Arrowsmith from the book Arrowsmith which was awarded a Pulitzer in 1926.  Not to be confused with the band Aerosmith, which was not awarded a Pulitzer at all.

Zoi: How do you know all this?

Sister:  Gurio’s brain is a vast warehouse of useless information.

TV:  “Flamingos sometimes outnumber people on this Caribbean Island.  The B of these A,B,C islands.”

Umino: Bonaire.  [sighs sadly]  My food’s getting cold.  Answering all the questions correctly doesn’t leave me much time to eat.

TV;  “The Bible for $400″

Brother:  Ask and you shall receive.

[Umino brings a slice of pizza close to his mouth.]

TV:  “It was Peter’s original name.”

Zoi:  Simon.

TV:  “This apostle was on route from Fair Haven to Phoenix when he and his captors were shipwrecked.”

Zoi: Paul.

TV:  “This fearless warrior not only led a successful counterattack against the forces of Canaan, she was also a judge.”

Zoi: Deborah.

Umino:  I didn’t know you were religious.

Zoi:  I’m not.

Sister:  Then how do you know all these?  

Zoi:  I used to carpool to school with a family that tried to cure me through the power of AM radio.

Mrs. Umino: [alarmed] Cure you?  Oh, no.  Do you have cancer?

Umino:  No, Mom.  Zoi’s gay.

Mrs. Umino: Really?  How fabulous!

Sister: Awww! How come all the cute ones have to be gay?

Brother:  Because only gay guys care if they’re cute.

Fiance:  So true.

[The game progresses with Umino defeating everyone quite easily, and Zoi has to admit to himself he’s having at lot of fun.  This is the normal G-Rated Norman Rockwell style social life he would have cultivated if he had never met Kunzite.]

[However he did meet Kunzite so he can not go back to the way things were supposed to be.  Because of this his mood is still tinged with a bit of heartbreak and sorrow. But he is having a lot of fun in spite of it.]  

TV:  “Final Jeopardy:  Four Republican, Two Democrat, and these two Whig presidents died while in Office.”

Sister:  Oh, oh!  I know this one!  We just talked about this in history class.  It’s- 

Umino:  William Henry Harrison and Zachary Taylor.

Sister:  SHUT UP YOU JERK!  [punches his arm]  Harrison and Taylor!

TV:  “You put down ‘William Henry Harrison and Taylor.’ That is correct.”

Sister:  YES!  I WIN!

Umino:  No you didn’t.  You got exactly one question right.

Sister:  It doesn’t matter! It was final jeopardy!  If get that one right that makes me the winner!

Umino:  No it doesn’t.  You’re still a loser.

Sister:  Fine!  I don’t want to play this stupid game anymore. Jeopardy sucks anyway!  [shuffles up to her room and slams the door.

Mr Umino:  Don’t worry she’ll be back in ten minutes.

[The rest of the evening progresses in the same manner, with Umino getting almost all the questions right while Zoi takes pride in answering a few that he misses.  Umino’s parents bring Zoi home at about 11pm. All the downstairs lights are on.  Zoi would have expected just the glow of the TV in the living room.]

Mr Umino:  Looks like your father’s waiting up for you.

Zoi:  Thank you for having me over.  I had a great time.

Mr Umino: It was our pleasure.

Mrs Umino:  You come over any time you want.

Zoi:  Your son’s a great guy, by the way.  I hope you appreciate how smart he is.

Mrs Umino:  Of course.  And we’re so glad you found a friend like you.

Zoi: [nervous] What do you mean by a friend like me?

Mrs. Umino:  A friend who appreciates Gurio just the way he is.  He knows he’s a lot smarter than most of the people in this town, but it makes it hard for him to fit in with other kids his age, so he thinks it’s a bad thing.  I am so happy that he found someone who accepts him without judgement.

Zoi: Why would I judge him for being smart?  Tell him I’ll see him in class on Monday.

[They wait until Zoi opens the door before driving away.  Zoi is in relatively high spirits, so he barely notices that the door is unlocked.  His father never leaves the door unlocked after dark. But then again his father usually doesn’t keep all the lights on either.]


	20. To Hell in a Handbasket

 [Scene:  The Midori house. Zoi walks in. The TV is on but the house still feels unnaturally quiet, and oddly haunted.]

Zoi:  Dad?

[There is no reply. Zoi walks into the livingroom, where the TV is on, but nobody is watching.  The TV is turned to the SciFi channel, but to the best of Zoi’s knowledge, his father has never watched the SciFi channel.]

TV:  “My name is Talky Tina and I’m going to kill you.”

[Zoi grabs the remote and turns off the TV.  Now the house is deathly silent.]

Zoi:  Dad?

[Zoi has a sudden vision of blood spattered all over the kitchen wall.  He runs into the kitchen only to see there is no blood.  His father is sitting at the table face down with his head in his arms.  The table is set and there is a plate of food where Zoi normally sits.]

Zoi:  Dad?

[He walks over to his father and touches his shoulder lightly.  His father sits up and Zoi’s so startled he lets out a shriek. But he’s relieved that his father has just fallen asleep that the table.]

Zoi: Dad, don’t do that. You scared me.

Chief Midori:  [groggy]  Where have you been?  I’ve been waiting for you to come home.

Zoi:  I was at a friend’s, remember?  You wanted me to stay out all night.

Chief Midori: Oh.  I see.

[His father seems out of it, and though Zoi tries to tell himself his father is just sleepy, Zoi is a bit concerned. To the best of Zoi’s knowledge, his father has never fallen asleep at the table like that, but that would explain the door, the lights and the TV.]

Zoi:  You left the TV on in the living room.

Chief Midori: Oh.

Zoi:  When did you start watching the Twilight Zone?

Chief Midori:  I don’t want to talk about it.

[Zoi gives his father a questioning look.  His father’s eyes are dazed and his voice sounds almost mechanical.  Zoi’s seen his father like this before.  He can’t remember when or why, but he remembers it meant something really bad.]

Zoi:  Dad, are you ok?

Chief Midori:  Yes, son. I’m fine.

Zoi:  How did things go with Justice Blackmoon?

Chief Midori:  I don’t want to talk about it.

Zoi:  Did he threaten you?

Chief Midori: I don’t want to talk about it.

Zoi:  Dad. What did he say?

Chief Midori:  I don’t want to talk about it!

[He seems more frustrated than angry, but Zoi backs away]

Chief Midori: I made you dinner.

Zoi:  Dad, it’s eleven at night.

Chief Midori:  You need to eat something.  You’re becoming far too thin.

Zoi:  I just had about half an extra large pizza at Umino’s.

[Zoi sees what looks like a photograph lying face down in front of his father.  He reaches for it, but his father snatches it out of his reach.]

Zoi:  What’s that?

Chief Midori:  Nothing you need to concern yourself with.

Zoi:  Is it a crime scene photo?

Chief Midori:  I don’t want to talk about it.

[Zoi looks at his father. Behind the weariness in his eyes, Zoi can tell he’s under a great deal of stress.]

Zoi:  Dad, what’s wrong?

Chief Midori:  Nothing’s wrong.  I’m fine. You need to eat.  

Zoi: I just told you. I already ate. I just want to go to bed.

[Actually he doesn’t. He knows something is terribly wrong with his dad and he’s tempted to call for an ambulance. But he doesn’t know what they can do if his father keeps insisting he’s fine.]

Chief Midori:  Sit down. I made your favorite. Carne Asada.

Zoi:  Really dad?  I’ve seen you burn instant oatmeal.  And you decided to attempt something as complex as Carne Asada?

Chief Midori:  Sit down.  

Zoi:  It’s late.  I’ll try it in the morning.

Chief Midori: No.  You have to eat it right now.

Zoi: Dad?

Chief Midori:  Eat. I’ve made it just for you. I know you’ve had a rough time. With Kunzite leaving you the way he did. Even though you are still madly in love with him.  I thought it might make you happy.

Zoi:  No.

Chief Midori:  Eat.

Zoi:  I’m not saying I don’t appreciate the thought. But you do realize you could have achieved the same effect by making me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

[His father doesn’t seem angry. He seems stressed out and robotic and more than a little spaced out.  If Zoi didn’t know better he’d think he was stoned out of his mind.] 

Chief Midori:  Just take three bites.  That’s all I ask.  Three bites and then I’ll let you go to your room.

[Zoi is feeling uneasy but he sits anyway.  His father rises from the table.  Zoi notices he’s left the picture behind on the tabletop, but when he looks over his shoulder his father is staring right at him. Actually it feels like there are many eyes upon him.  It’s almost as if he can hear the walls breathing.]

Zoi:  Three bites.  Then I’m putting the rest in the refrigerator and I’m going to bed.

Chief Midori:  Three bites.

[Zoi cuts a small piece of steak and puts it in his mouth.]

Zoi:  [chews the steak.  It’s cold.  It doesn’t taste terrible, but it doesn’t taste like carne asada either. Clearly his father did not allow the meat to marinate.]  One.

[Zoi saws off another piece of steak.  He can feel his father’s eyes upon him and the breathing of the house seems to quicken.] 

Zoi:  Two.

[As Zoi lifts the fork to his mouth he racks his brain for when his seen his father like this before.]

[Then he remembers. It was when Kunzite took over his mind and sent him downstairs to make him a beer and a sandwich.]

[Zoi can feel his skin break out in goosebumps. He reaches for the snapshot on the table and turns it over as quickly as he can.]  

[It’s the picture Esmeraude stole from him in biology class.]

Zoi:  DAD!

[Zoi turns in his chair as quickly as he can.]

[His father is holding his service revolver in both hands and is aiming it right at Zoi’s head.]

[Zoi jumps out of his seat and backs into the table, more from shock then genuine terror.  He holds out his hand to shield himself, knowing it won’t be enough.]

Zoi:  Dad!  Don’t do this!  Put down the gun!

[Chief Midori just stands there. Pointing the gun at Zoi’s head.  But he’s sweating and his eyes have a caged look, as if there is a glimmer of awareness.  As if he is aware of his actions and can’t control them.]

Zoi:  Dad!  I know this isn’t you!  The Blackmoons are controlling you!  They’re going to make you kill me to get back at Kunzite!  But I want you to know this isn’t your fault!

[Chief Midori stands there holding the gun then bursts into sobs]

Chief Midori:  I can’t do this.  He’s my little boy.

Zoi:  Dad!  Put the gun down.

[Instead Chief Midori raises the gun to his own head.]

Zoi:  DAD!  NO! DON’T DO THAT!

[Zoi is almost relieved when Justice Blackmoon appears out of thin air.]

Justice Blackmoon: Put that damn gun down! Did I give you permission to kill yourself!  

[Justice Blackmoon drags a chair from the table and puts it next to the counter where Chief Midori is standing.]

Justice Blackmoon: Now lower your weapon and sit your ass down!

[Chief Midori places the gun on the counter and sits in the chair with the same blank expression on his face.  Zoi tries to rush toward him, but five men, including Rubeus Blackmoon, appear out on thin air holding machetes and drag him onto the kitchen table and hold him down on its surface.]

Justice Blackmoon: Now Zoi-zoi, don’t be angry at your dad. He was going to give you a nice, clean, merciful death. Unfortunately he failed, so now my boys are going to have to be slow and messy.

[Justice Blackmoon walks over and ruffles Zoi’s hair.]

Justice Blackmoon: Before they start cutting into you, I just want you to know this is nothing personal.  I’ve always had a softspot in my heart for my little Zoi-zoi. It’s a pity you had to run with such a bad crowd.  

[Pats the top of Zoi’s head.]  

Justice Blackmoon:  Don’t worry.  Your dad will be with you soon.  I’m not sure if I’m going to take his life immediately after this, or if I’ll make him hang himself in his cell while he’s awaiting trial.  [sighs dramatically] Such a pity when people hurt their children to get back at their exspouses, but what can you say?  Sometimes men like your father just snap for no good reason.

[Justice Blackmoon walks away shaking his head sadly.]

Justice Blackmoon:  Alright boys. Now gut the little Shitennou-fucker.

 


	21. This Will Not End Well

[Scene: The Midori kitchen.  The Black Moon Clan is getting ready to eviscerate Zoi on his kitchen table.]

[Zoi is not frightened. He’s angry.  His lip is curled and his hands are balled into fists.  He’s angry that they’ve enslaved his father. He’s angry because he knows that none of them are going to be punished or even miss a wink of sleep over his murder. He’s angry that Kunzite fled and they decided to to kill him anyway so that he had to spend the last couple weeks of his life miserable and alone.  But mostly he’s angry that everyone– his father, his friends, the Shitennou, the Blackmoons– they all dismiss him as a delicate little flower, not good for anything but looking pretty and getting rescued, and he’s never done anything to prove them wrong.] 

[Zoi rethinks his inability to kill, even in selfdefense.  Death wouldn’t be so bad if he could take a few Blackmoons with him.] 

Zoi:  You’d better let my dad go, you inbred droogs!

Rubeus Blackmoon :  Or what?  [places the point of the machete under Zoi’s chin]  You’ll jump off that table and go all “Black Widow” on us?

Chiral Blackmoon: Yeah, you’re more like “The Girl With One Pearl Earring.”

Rubeus Blackmoon:  [furrows his brow then looks at Chiral] That doesn’t even make any sense at all.

Chiral Blackmoon: …they’re both Scarlett Johansson movie references.

Rubeus Blackmoon:  Oh.  [doesn’t even crack a smile]

Achiral Blackmoon: [To Chiral] If you have to explain a joke. It means it’s not funny.

Chiral Blackmoon:  Oh, well. I guess something was “Lost in Translation.”

[The two Blackmoons who get the reference groan]

Achiral Blackmoon:  I guess we all know who Chiral has been spanking it to lately.

Perrydough Blackmoon: Could we please stop with the lame jokes and got on with butchering this piglet!  I want to go on YouTube and find out what happened to Talky Tina!

Chiral Blackmoon:  Oh, I’ve already seen it. Telly Savalas–

Perrydough Blackmoon: Hey! If you spoil it for me, I’m killing you next!

Justice Blackmoon: Quiet boys.  I’m sure little Zoi-zoi here doesn’t want to spend his final moments on Earth listening to you bicker.

Zoi:  No. I’d much rather spend my final moments kicking all of your asses.

Rubeus Blackmoon:  [utterly without humor]  Good luck with that. You couldn’t even last one minute against Esmeraude’s loony ass without your one of your boyfriends jumping in to save you.  What makes you think you can do anything on your own against all six of us?

Zoi:  [sneers at Rubeus] You look even more inbred than the rest of them.  

Rubeus Blackmoon:  [brandishes the machete near Zoi’s eyes] I’m going to start by messing that face up, prettyboy.

Justice Blackmoon: Wait… don’t.

[The younger Blackmoons look up in surprise]

Justice Blackmoon: Don’t damage the face or the hair.  When you’re done tearing his guts out, I’m going to cut off his head and keep it in my library in a jar of formaldehyde.  Should make quite the conversation starter if Kunzite O’Sama dares to show his face around here again.

Rubeus Blackmoon :  [Brandishes his machete over Zoi’s navel.]  I’ll just cut him right here in the stomach.

Zoi: That’s not where my stomach is, you gingerbread mutant.  

[The other Blackmoon are desperately trying to keep a straight face]

Rubeus Blackmoon:  Be quiet!

Zoi: No need to get defensive.  Not everyone can have an IQ in the triple digits.

Rubeus Blackmoon:  It’s just a figure of speech. I know where your stomach is.

Zoi: Oh, really, Einstein? Then where is my stomach?

Rubeus Blackmoon:  It’s…Shut up!

Zoi:  This is what happens when siblings marry. Maybe you’d know where my stomach really is if your family tree wasn’t a bonsai.

Rubeus Blackmoon:  I said shut up!

Zoi: Or what? What are you going to do?  Kill me a second time? [Giggles mockingly] I’ll bet your mother won’t let you touch her, so she doesn’t make the same mistake twice.

Rebeus Blackmoon: [holds the machete over Zoi’s navel in both hands like a spear]  Oh, I’m going to make this as slow and painful as possible.

Zoi:  Not stabbing right there you won’t.  That’s where my abdominal aorta is.  Stab me there and I’ll die  almost instantly. Though the fountain of blood should be quite impressive.

Rebeus:  I said, shut up!

Zoi: [gives Rubeus a disdainful frown] Honestly.  I’m just trying to help.  If you’re trying to make a mess, I’d suggest slicing open just the skin and pulling out the organs with your hands.  However given what a mental midget you are, I’m certain you’ll find a way to botch that as well.

Justice Blackmoon:  [chuckles] My, my but our Zoi-zoi is one little feisty spitfire. What a pity he couldn’t have been born a Blackmoon.  If I had a daughter I’d want her to be sassy, just like him.

Zoi: I wouldn’t laugh if I were you.  You’re not any smarter than he is.

Justice Blackmoon: I’ll have you know I graduated Magna Cum Lauda from Harvard Law.

Zoi: Clearly at Harvard Law they don’t teach you that when you’re murdering someone who is suicidal, you shouldn’t try to make it look like a murder.

Rubeus:  He’s not suicidal.  He’s just a loud-mouth little punk.

Zoi:  I am so suicidal! When Kunzite left me, it broke my heart, so now I have nothing left to live for. [grins angelically] As a matter of fact.  I should be thanking you for this. I’ve been trying to work up the nerve to shoot myself in the head for about a week now, but I didn’t want my dad to find my body, and know I used his gun to kill myself with.

[Zoi lies back and smiles in triumph]

Zoi: Problem solved, wouldn’t you say?

Rubeus: [To Justice Blackmoon] Don’t listen to him. He’s trying to trick you.

[Not seriously, Zoi thinks. He’s just having fun in his final moments.  Justice Blackmoon can’t be that twisted and gullible.]

Justice Blackmoon: He’s right you know. Whether he’s trying to trick me or not, it doesn’t matter.  You’re not a father yet, so you don’t know this, but there could be nothing more devastating for a parent than knowing a beloved child took his own life.   [looks at Chief Midori]  To actually witness such an act… [thinks about it and smiles] Why that’s the sort of thing that makes a father drive off a cliff in despair.

[Zoi is shocked. Justice Blackmoon is that twisted and gullible.]


	22. No More Mr. Nice Guy

[Scene: The Midori kitchen. Zoi’s still being held down on the table, while his father is still seated near the counter, paralyzed by the Blackmoon’s mindcontrol.  Chief Midori hasn’t moved at all.  As far as Zoi can tell he might not have even blinked.]

Justice Blackmoon: Rubeus, my powers of persuasion are stronger than Demande’s, but I want you to use your binding powers to keep this idiot in his chair.

Rubeus:  You mean after I gut his kid?

Justice Blackmoon: Instead of gutting his kid.  There has been a change of plans.

[Justice Blackmoon walks over to Zoi and the moon on his forehead spins and a third eye opens in his forehead.  A strong light hits Zoi in the eyes.]

Justice Blackmoon: You are completely under my power. I will tell you what to do and you will do it to the best of your ability. You will think no thought and perform no action that is in conflict with what I tell you to do.  If I ask you to do something you don’t understand, you will say “I do not understand”.  If I ask you to attempt something you can not do in a straightforward manner, you must make me aware of any potential complications.  Otherwise,  you are to perform my commands as simply and with as much efficiency as you can.  Have I made myself understood?

Zoi:  [imitating his father’s black expression and robot speech] Yes. I understand.

Justice Blackmoon: Good.  My boys are going to release you, and when they do, you are to go and fetch a pen and a sheet of your best stationery.  Whatever stationery you might use to write a very important letter.  You are to return to this kitchen with these items immediately. Perform no task except what I have told you.  Do you understand?

Zoi:  Yes.  I understand.

[The Blackmoons release him and he rises from the table and walks slowly and robotically out of the kitchen.  He doesn’t dare look over his shoulder as he makes his way through the livingroom, but the reflection in the TV screen tells him he is followed only as far as the threshold between the kitchen and the living room.]

Kunzite’s Voice:  *Very good, Zoisite.  You tricked them into thinking you are under their power.*

[Zoi is startled, then feels a moment of pure joy to hear Kunzite’s voice again. Although he knows it is not real, it sounds real and it’s the most wonderful thing in the world.  He holds onto the sound of his voice like a lifeline as he walks through the living room.]

Kunzite’s Voice:  *Go out the back.*

[Zoi can’t bring himself to think of Kunzite, but he is grateful for this small bit of solace.]

Kunzite’s Voice:  *There is the door. Be sure not to make a sound as you open it. Only a few more steps and then you will be free to start running.*

[Zoi turns to go up the stairs]

Kunzite’s Voice:  *No, Zoisite!  What are you doing?*

[Zoi is now certain he’s not being followed by the Blackmoons,but he walks up the stairs with the same robotic gait, just to be safe.]

Kunzite’s Voice: *Zoisite.  You’re going the wrong way. Turn around.*

Zoi:  *And do what?  Slip out the back and let them chase me through the woods like some frightened little bunny.  You’ve seen me run.  How far do you think I’d get?* 

[Zoi walks into his room, closes the door and goes to his desk.]

Kunzite’s Voice: *Zoisite.  Stop this right now.* 

[The pen is easy to find.  He opens a drawer where he keeps his stationery.  He selects some his great aunt gave him for Christmas.  Cream colored and of light cardstock with a gold Z stamped at the top before he decides it is too nice to waste on the Blackmoons so he selects some cheaper stationery another aunt gave him as a Christmas present.]  

[It makes him sad to know after this, he will never celebrate another Christmas.]

Kunzite’s voice:  *You have your phone. Call for help.*

Zoi: *No. This is my problem. I’ve endangered enough people already.*

[Zoi picks up a sheet of stationery and an envelope.  Justice Blackmoon did say he would be writing a letter, after all, and Zoi doesn’t want him to know he is already two steps ahead of him.  He takes the stationery and heads back to the kitchen.]

Kunzite’s Voice: *Stop! This is reckless and childish and idiotic, Zoisite.*

Zoi:  *Be quiet!  You’re not really Kunzite!  You’re just a crazy voice in my head I’ve created myself as a form of wish fulfillment as a sign I’m losing my sanity.*

Kunzite’s Voice:  *You don’t know that for a fact.*

Zoi:  *Yes I do.  If Kunzite could see what I’m doing right now, he wouldn’t be having a rational discussion with me, trying to talk me out of it.  He would grab me by the scruff of the neck and drag me kicking and screaming to his castle.* 

Kunzite’s Voice:  *Call me right now. I will come get you.*

Zoi:  *No*

Kunzite’s voice:  *If you go back into that kitchen, you are going to die.*

Zoi:  *You think I don’t know that?*

Kunzite’s Voice:  *Do you want to kill yourself, then?  Is that what this is about?*

Zoi:  *Kunzite.  They have my dad.*

Kunzite’s Voice:  *Zoisite. We will find a way to save your dad*

Zoi:  *No. by then It will be too late. Goodbye Kunzite.  I know you can’t hear me, but thank you.  For everything.*

[The voices in his head go silent as Zoi returns to the kitchen and presents the pen and stationery to Justice Blackmoon.  The third eye is still open in his forehead.]

[He is careful not to look at his father.  He is certain if he lets himself look at his father, the sorrow and remorse in his expression will give him away.]

Justice Blackmoon: Yes, this will do nicely.  Now I want you to sit at the kitchen table and write down exactly what I tell you to write down.  Cry if you’d like, but make sure the tears fall on the paper.

[Zoi does not cry. He sits and writes as Justice Blackmoon dictates.]

> Dear Dad,  
> 
> I love you.  I am so sorry. I tried to live without Kunzite. It didn’t work. I am so very, very sorry.
> 
> Please don’t be mad at me. And don’t be angry with him.  It is not his fault I loved him so much more than he could ever love me.  Tell him thank you, for everything.  Even though it wasn’t real.
> 
> And please, please don’t come after him. This is my fault for believing all his lies. Even though he used me, I still love him.   I can’t bear the thought that anyone has to be hurt because of me. Especially you.  Especially him.   Please, this is what is best for everyone
> 
> I love you, forgive me,
> 
> Zoi-zoi

Justice Blackmoon:  [reads over his shoulder]  Yes, that will do very nicely.  Now leave the note in the center of the table and walk over to the counter.

[Zoi rises and walks toward the counter.]

Justice Blackmoon: You are to take the gun, and stand in the center of the kitchen facing me so I can get a good view.  Once there, I want you to put the barrel of the gun inside of your mouth.Now when I give the signal—wait! What are you doing!

[Zoi aims the gun at Justice Blackmoon’s third eye.]

Justice Blackmoon: No! Stop!  I command you –

Zoi:   [grins like an evil fiend]  ZOI!


	23. A Minor Massacre

[Scene:  The Midori kitchen.  Five young Blackmoon males are staring in shock at the blood spatter on the wall behind where Justice Blackmoon had been standing just a few seconds before.]

[Zoi is just standing there with the gun in his hand, smiling a sick smile.]

[Rubeus Blackmoon is the first to recover and charges at Zoi with his machete.]

Rubeus:  DIE!!!

[Zoi spins and stops his charge with two bullets to the abdomen. Rubeus crumples and falls to the floor.]

Chief Midori:  Zoisite!

[Chief Midori is suddenly freed of all Blackmoon influence.  The expression on his son’s face is terrifying.  He actually seems to be enjoying himself.  Three of the remaining Blackmoons are cowering in terror, but one is generating arcs of energy between his hands.]

[Chief Midori rises from his chair and swings it at him, interrupting the current.  Zoi turn the gun on the Blackmoon and fires before shooting another Blackmoon who is screaming and raising his hands in front of his face in an expression of surrender.]

[Now all that are left are the twins Chiral and Achiral. Zoisite tries his best to shoot them, but he has run out of bullets.  Fortunately for the Midori’s, they are too frightened to notice and go running out of the house.]

Zoi:  [takes off after them] Oh, no you don’t.

Chief Midori:  Zoisite!

[Zoi ignores his father and goes running after the twins, making a brief detour to the coat closet to get his father’s shotgun.  He kicks open the front door wide open and runs outside.]

[He sees them running across the lawn.  He takes aim and fells one, then the other.] 

[Once it is clear they are not getting up again, Zoi drops the shotgun and falls to his knees in the grass, laughing hysterically.  Before long the laughter turns to retching, then vomiting.]

[Chief Midori comes out. Zoi turns and when he sees it’s his father, he stands and raises his hands above his head.  He’s shaking like a leaf.]

Zoi:  I surrender.

Chief Midori:  [shakes his head and gives his son a quick hug] Zoisite, get back in the house,

Zoi:  You have to arrest me.  

Chief Midori:  [guiding Zoi into the house] I’m not arresting you. Go up to your room and don’t come out for any reason while I clean up down here.

Zoi:  Dad. This isn’t right! You have to arrest me!  There needs to be an investigation.  I just killed six people!

Chief Midori:  No! You didn’t! [in the privacy of the living room he grabs Zoi by the shoulders and snarls through gritted teeth]  You were in your room! Asleep! You woke because you heard sounds of a violent struggle!  You were frightened, so you locked yourself in the bathroom and hid!  You heard gunshots! You were afraid to come out so you stayed there until morning!

Zoi:  [crying and shaking his head] No, that’s not what happened! We need to tell the truth!  If we can prove this was a home invasion I should get off lightly!

Chief Midori:  I’ve spent the past twenty years lying to cover up for the Blackmoons. I’m certainly not going to do any less for you.

Zoi:  Dad!  No! You’re going to make things worse! This was a clearcut case of selfdefense!  I’m just going to go to juvie for a few days until this mess gets sorted out!

Chief Midori:  You look too much like a pretty girl for me to send you to Hen Tie Juvenile Detention! I’m not locking you up in there to be molested by some lowlife perverts!

Zoi:  [calming down a bit] Aren’t violent murder suspects like mekept in isolation?

Chief Midori:  I’m not talking about the other boys!  I’m talking about the guards!

[Ziosite looks like he’s going to be sick again.]

Chief Midori:  [pushes Zoi toward the stairs] Go upstairs and take a long hot bath and watch some TV.  I’m going to get everything cleaned up down here.

Zoi:  What are you going to do?

Chief Midori:  You don’t need to worry about that.

[Zoi finally relents and shuffled off toward the stairs.  Chief Midori goes into the kitchen and surveys the carnage.]

[All of the Blackmoons are dead, except for Rubeus, who is lying in a pool of his own blood, not long for this world.]  

[In spite of this, he is chuckling a ragged gasping laugh.]

Chief Midori:  What’s so funny?

Rubeus:  You think you can hide what happened here from the Black Moon Clan?  

[Rubeus drags a blood arm across the floor and points to Justice Blackmoon’s crystal topped walking stick]

Rubeus: You see that scepter?  You know what it does?  It taps itself into the hive-mind of Nemesis whenever the reigning monarch is in deadly peril.  All of the Blackmoons just watched your son assassinate our king.  And there are nearly 350 of us. Those 350 Blackmoons are coming for him, right now.  They will be here any minute.  They’re coming for your little boy, and when they catch him, they’re going to tear him into so many pieces you’re going to need to bury him in a Hefty bag.

[Rubeus continues laughing.  Chief Midori stares at the orb, hoping to see some proof this is a lie.]

[As he looks into the orb he sees hundreds of tiny eyes staring back at him.  Chief Midori grabs his car keys.]

Chief Midori:  ZOISITE!

[Zoi comes rushing into the kitchen]  

Zoi: What’s wrong, dad?

Chief Midori grabs his son by the arm.]

Chief Midori:  We need to leave here!  Now!

Zoi:  [as they run to the squad car]  Dad, where are we going?

[Chief Miori doesn’t say anything.  He watches Zoi get into the passenger seat and then surveys the horizon.]

[Human shaped shadows are materializing in the pale glow of night.  First a few, then they start appearing more quickly.  He hopes his imagination is getting the better of him, but he can’t afford to assume anything.  He starts the engine and peels out before Zoi has his seat belt fastened.]


	24. Night of the Hunters

[scene:  Chief Midori’s squad car.  He’s driving with his siren blaring and the accelerator to the floor.]

Zoi:  Dad?  Where are we going?

Chief Midori:  I have no idea.

[The light is red but he goes flying through the intersection without even looking for crosstraffic. Fortunately it past midnight so there aren’t many cars on the road.]

Zoi:  Dad, slow down.

Chief Midori:  I can’t.

Zoi:  Why not—DAD! STOP!

[A group of women in clubwear are crossing the street right in front of the car.  They are walking slowly because two of them are barefoot. Zoi shrieks and covers his eyes as Chief Midori swerves wide to avoid them.]

Zoi:  Oh my god!  You’re driving even crazier than Kunzite does!

Chief Midori:  What did you just say?

Zoi:  …nothing.

[They pull onto the freeway and Zoi allows himself to relax since the odds of t-boning another car have decreased significantly.  He pulls out his phone.]

Zoi:  Could you turn off the siren for a minute.

Chief Midori:  Who are you calling?  

Zoi: Kunzite.

Chief Midori:  You are not calling Kunzite!

Zoi:  Dad. It’s for the best. I’m a killer. My life here is over. I can’t go home, I can’t go to school. It’s best for everyone if I just disappear completely.

[Chief Midori grabs the phone from Zoi’s hand and throws it out the window.]

Zoi: Dad!

Chief Midori:   You’re not calling Kunzite. Everything that has happened, happened because of him.

Zoi:  That’s not true!

Chief Midori:  He’s caused enough trouble already! You are never to see him again!

[Zoi crosses his arms and sulks.  No problem, he has Kunzite’s number memorized.  He’ll find a phone and call the moment his father’s back is turned.]

Zoi:  For the third time, where are we going?

Chief Midori:  To your mother’s, I’ll take out a pile of cash to get you someplace safe.  Isn’t your new stepfather’s family supposed to have a castle near Milan?

Zoi:  That’s what he says, but everyone knows he’s full of it.

Chief Midori:  Yeah, well he’s about to enjoy the high life on my life savings.

[They ride in silence.]  

[Eventually Zoi dozes off and wakes to the glare of light at an airport offramp.  His father gets off the freeway and pulls into the parking garage.  As Zoi leaves the car he feel like he is being watched. ]

[He turns at sees four young women leaning against the wall, in matching overcoats and crochet caps completely covering their hair.  As he stares back they don’t look away.  He’s hoping it’s just the normal ‘Is that a boy or a girl?’ thing, but it’s giving him the creeps.]

Chief Midori:  Come on.  We need to find the next flight to Phoenix.

[He tries to think of a way to call his father’s attention to the young women, but when he looks back they’re gone.]

[They enter the ticket area which is fairly empty given the late hour, but a young woman with a curly hair is arguing vehemently with the only ticketseller on duty.   The next flight to Phoenix leaves in only 20 minutes, but it looks like they won’t make that one.  The next one doesn’t leave for another three hours.]

[Then a ticketseller who bears a striking resemblance to Elsa from Frozen appears]

Ticketseller 2:  I can help you right here.

Chief Midori:  One ticket on the next flight to Phoenix please.

Zoi:  You mean two.

Chief Midori:  No, one.

Zoi:  Dad, you have to come with me!

Chief Midori:  No I have to stay behind and do what I can to throw them off the trail.

Zoi: No, Dad.

Chief Midori:  I’m your father. It’s my job to keep you safe. You need to respect me and my decisions.

Zoi: [burst into tears] They’ll kill you! 

Chief Midori:  Don’t worry.  I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself.

[Zoi knows he’s lying. He lets his father give him a hug and a kiss on the top of the head, and cries harder knowing he is kissing him goodbye.]

Ticketseller 2:  Good news.  I managed to get you bumped up to first class for the price of coach.

Chief Midori:  Be sure to tell the flight crew my son is an unaccompanied minor, flying alone.

Zoi:  Dad, I’m not a baby.

Chief Midori:  Then stop crying like one.

Ticketseller 2:  [winks] Don’t worry, my big sister Vera happens to be working as a flight attendant on this one.  I’ll call her and make sure she takes extra good care of him.

[She hands Zoi the ticket]

Ticketseller 2:  Enjoy your flight, young man.

[Chief Midori walks Zoi to security, holding his arm as a form of final farewell.]

Zoi:  Dad, I love you.

Chief Midori: I love you too, son.

[Zoi keeps his eyes on the retreating form of his father. Certain he will die soon and it will knowing it will be one less thing tying him to a life outside the Dark Kingdom. As he walks to the gate he makes his plans to call Kunzite.]

[He’ll call his father once, just to let him know he made it safely, and to see if he’s still alive. His mother isn’t nearly as controlling as his father is.  He’d make her annoyed with having him constantly pestering her and getting underfoot within a few hours. Then it might be days until she realizes he’s run off for good.]

[He boards the plane, taking his nice roomy seat in first class.  He watches out the window as the plane takes off.]  

[As soon as the plane levels out, a flight attendant with her hair in a severe brown bun under her cap comes by with a drink cart.]

Flight attendant:  [when she gets to Zoi] Care for a complimentary mimosa, young man?

[Zoi looks at her tag to see if it says ‘Vera’, but it says ‘Betty Jean’]

Zoi:  Just the orange juice, please.

Flight attendant: [hands him a wineglass filled with juice] Here you go.

[The flight attendant leaves to serve the other passengers.  Zoi reads the inflight magazine and takes a sip of his juice. He makes a face.]

Zoi:  Um, miss?

[The flight attendant returns with the drink cart]

Flight attendant: Can I help you, sir?

Zoi:  Ah, I asked for juice, and you gave me one with champagne in it.

Flight attendant: [smiles] No, I don’t think so.

Zoi:  [through gritted teeth] Yes you did.

Flight attendant:  Are you sure?

Zoi: [getting so upset he’s tempted to throw the drink at her just to take out all his aggressions] Yes, I’m sure!  I know what orange juice tastes like and it usually doesn’t have bubbles in it!

Flight attendant: [inspects the drink and laughs] Oh, silly me.  Let me pour you a new one.

Female voice over the PA: *Attention passengers.  The captain would like for everyone to remain in their seats.  We have a terminally ill young man in first class who requires immediate medical attention. His doctor will be coming through the aisle with a gurney.*

[Zoi’s nerves are too frayed by now for him to have any sympathy]

Zoi: [grumbling under his breath] Goddammit, if he’s that sick you’d think he’d have enough sense to stay home.

Flight attendant: [strokes his hair] Ah… Don’t be so hard on yourself.

[Zoi looks up and sees a bit of black moon peeking from under her cap]

Flight attendant: I guess your boyfriend never told you we can track nearly as well as he does.

[Zoi tenses up in panic.]

Flight attendant: [ice cold] And since we can also teleport, we have no problem bringing this plane down with everyone on it, so you might want to think twice before making a fuss…Oh, and that guy you shot, the one with the red hair? He was my lover.

[Zoi looks around at the other passengers: the business people with their laptops, the families, the vacationers sleeping with eye masks on, blissfully unaware that their lives are in peril.]

Flight attendant:  Finish your drink, killer.

[Zoi picks up the drink and drains it in one swallow.  He welcomes the approaching dark of oblivion.]


	25. The Return of the King

[Scene:  The Midori driveway, shortly before dawn.  Chief Midori pulls up in his squad car.  He looks around before opening the car door and drawing his backup gun from his ankle holster.  He holds the gun out as he surveys the scene.  The lights are on, the front door is ajar. Everything looks the same as he has left it, except the two Blackmoon corpses are missing from the front lawn.]

[He backs his way to the front door and lets himself in closing the door behind him.]

[He might be walking into a trap.  It hardly matters. He saw Zoi safely to the airport.  He saw the plane take off.  His son should be safe with his mother in Phoenix by now. The Blackmoons are out for blood and he hopes they will be satisfied with his own.]  

[Now that he knows the Blackmoons can be killed with bullets, he intends to shoot on sight. He has no intention of falling back under their spell and being used as an unwilling pawn.]

[He enters the kitchen. The room is thoroughly tidy. The Blackmoon corpses are gone. The blood has been scrubbed off the walls and floor.  The chair Chief Midori had used was replaced at the table.  The only sign the room had been used by anyone is a crisp manila envelop in the center of the table.]

[All of Chief Midori instincts are telling him to follow procedure. To seal off and photograph the room before touching anything, then don gloves before opening the envelope and photographing its contents, before placing both the envelope and its contents in evidence bags.]

[Every instinct but his instincts as a father.]

[He grabs the envelope and tears it open.  Inside is a color photo of his son folded up and tucked into a suitcase, with the words, YOUR SON IS DEAD scrawled over it in black marker.]

[Chief Midori’s heart seizes up in his chest. He has to force himself not to look away.  There can be no doubt the photo is genuine. Zoi is wearing the same clothes he wore to the airport.]  

[Chief Midori looks at the back of the photograph and searches the envelope for addition contents.  No demands, no threats, no instructions. No warning not to contact the FBI…  Just a statement of fact scrawled in black marker.]  

[Only it is not a fact. Chief Midori knows his son is not dead. He’s seen enough corpses in his line of work to know his son was still alive when the picture was taken.  Thank goodness for high resolution cameras and the Blackmoons’ ability to afford them.]

[He drops the photo onto the table and rushes up to his son’s room.  There is no reason to be cautious anymore, the worst thing that can happen has already happened.  He goes to his son’s desk and searches the surface of it before pulling open drawers. It had been stupid to throw out Zoi’s phone.  He didn’t want Zoi calling Kunzite, but it should have occurred to him that he might need that number for himself.]  

[Knowing Zoi, he would have written it down somewhere, just to be safe. He just needs to find where.]

[The desk and its contents provide no help.  He sees a scrapbook near the bed with the initials Z & K on the cover.  He opens it to the front, thinking that would be a logical place to keep Kunzite’s number.  It is not there.  He leafs through the pages, the photos shot in improbable cities, then stops short.  He is struck by how happy Zoi looks. Kunzite seems happy as well.  Yet at the same time something deep within his eyes seems haunted.  Haunted and concerned.  It’s almost as if Kunzite knows Zoi’s life will be cut tragically short, and there will be nothing he can do to prevent it. His is the look of a guardian angel.]

[Chief Midori still can’t forgive Kunzite anything, but he realizes now how grossly he had misjudged him.]

[Yet, oddly, the most devastating thing of all, more painful that the photos of Zoi in happier times, more painful that the blissful expression on his son’s face, is the tiny sampling of flower petals or dried flowers on each page and the little calligraphied note he put next to them.]

[Chief Midori fights back his tears as he stares at a tiny flower with dozens of needle-thin petals. Zoi added a little paper next to with an arrow and the words “Seaside Daisy (Erigeron glaucus)”] 

[That was so Zoi.  It was such a grown-up little-kid thing to do. Nobody else would have done that, and it’s unbearable to think he may never do it again.]

[At last Chief Midori sees the box with the red ribbon.  He opens it, flips past the photo and sees a folded slip of paper.  He unfolds it to see Kunzite’s name and number.]  

[He immediately dials it.]

[Almost at once Kunzite appears.  He looks around, then stares back at Chief Midori with a look of pure malevolence.]

Kunzite:  Where is Zoisite?

 


	26. A Clockwork Shitennou

 [Scene:  The Midori kitchen.  Chief Midori is filling Kunzite in on all of the details of what has happened since he left.  In the beginning he was nervous, concerned that when Kunzite learned that Zoisite had been captured by the Blackmoons, he would blast the house to splinters in his rage.]  

[Instead, Kunzite is listening intently.  Only a slight sneer and a bit of fire in his eyes to indicate he is anything but perfectly calm.  His demeanor doesn’t even change when he sees the picture of Zoi, but he does look away. ]

[But when he finishes telling Kunzite everything he knows, Kunzite is silent for several seconds.]

Kunzite:  Is that everything?

Chief Midori:  Yes.

Kunzite:  You stupid fool. I trusted you to keep him safe.  

Chief Midori:  I did what I could.

Kunzite:  You did what you could to keep me away from him.

Chief Midori: Don’t blame this on me!.  Leaving Hen Tie was your idea, not mine.

Kunzite:  I left because my being here put him in danger. You wouldn’t let me take him from here, and he wouldn’t leave without your blessing.  You swore to me you would protect him, but you just wanted him dead before you’d let him be with me. Now it seems you’ve gotten your wish.

Chief Midori:  Zoi isn’t dead.  

Kunzite: [icy]  I can’t sense him.  Which means he’s either dead, or being held at Blackmoon Cove.

Chief Midori:  Then he is at Blackmoon Cove.  He was alive when they took that picture.  Think about it.  If they meant to terrorize me, they would have sent me the most gruesome picture at their disposal.

Kunzite:  I hope you’re wrong. Because if he’s not dead, it means he’s being brutally tortured.  

Chief Midori:  You don’t suppose Demande Blackmoon….

[Kunzite stares at him, daring him to finish the sentence.  Chief Midori looks away.]

Kunzite:  God, I hope so.  

[Chief Midori does a double take]

Kunzite: Right now I’m praying that Demande Blackmoon is keeping him locked up in his chambers as his personal slave.  You know why? Anything else that might be happening to Zoisite right now is too horrible for me to even contemplate.

[By now Kunzite is practically snarling]

Kunzite:  There are only a few hundred of Blackmoons left in the world.  All of them have fertility problems. A Blackmoon female is lucky if she can carry more than a couple of pregnancies to term over the course of a lifetime! In a single night your son singlehandedly wiped out almost 2% of their population! Including their monarch! That’s not the sort of thing they will ever get over! Not in this lifetime! and not in generations to follow!  And now they have him! They’re keeping him at Blackmoon Cove! They’ve taken him to a place where I can’t help him! I would have done ANYTHING to prevent this from happening!  Now I can do NOTHING!  All because you thought it was more important to keep him from me instead of them!

Chief Midori:  [uncowed] And what was I supposed to think?  When he came here he was still an innocent little boy who loved flowers.  After he met you he started ditching school, having sex with demons, and killing people. As a father what was I supposed to do?

[Kunzite looks away and trembles]

Chief Midori:  Tell me how to get him back.

Kunzite:  I can’t help you.

Chief Midori:  Try!

Kunzite:  [through gritted teeth] I can’t!  It’s a physical impossibility.  Helping you rescue Zoisite would mean interfering with the Blackmoons, and I’m not allowed to interfere the Blackmoons!

Chief Midori:  [narrows his eyes] Your brother didn’t have a problem interfering with the Blackmoons.

[Kunzite gives him a startled look]

Kunzite:  What do you mean?

Chief Midori:  I guess I forgot to mention that the whole reason they decided Zoi had to die was because your brother intervened when Zoi got into a fight with Esmeraude Blackmoon in Biology class.

[Kunzite’s look turns dubious.]

Chief Midori: I was talking with Justice Blackmoon when Esmeraude ran in here screaming that she got into a fight with Zoi and your brother jumped in to protect him. He blocked Esmeraude’s attacks and even took a knife through his hand protecting him.  

Kunzite:  Oh?

Chief MidorI:  That’s how they knew for certain that you and Zoi still had feelings for each other, but what cinched it for her was that he said he did it because Zoi was “family.”  That’s when Justice Blackmoon seized control of my mind and made me tell them everything I knew about you.

[For a moment Kunzite is at a loss for words.]

Kunzite:  Which brother?

Chief Midori: [figures that should be obvious from the reference to biology class] Neffy.

Kunzite:  That’s impossible.

Chief Midori:  Are you saying I’m lying?

Kunzite:  I’m saying someone is lying.  Do you think I would have left Hen Tie if it was that easy to protect your son?

Chief Midori:  Why would anyone lie about this?

Kunzite:  Nephrite couldn’t interfere in any such manner, even if he wanted to. It’s not a matter of willpower, Mother cursed us so we can’t act against the Blackmoons.  What you just described–shielding Zoisite from attack– would require a superhuman amount of effort.  Even if Nephrite were capable of fighting against the curse Mother placed upon us, he certainly wouldn’t do so for Zoisite’s sake.

Chief Midori:  Why not?

Kunzite:  Because Nephrite hates your son.

Chief Midori:  [half-smiles a harsh smile] Maybe that’s just what he wants people to think. Maybe he secretly loves my son even more than you do.

Kunzite:  No. He doesn’t.

Chief Midori:  How can you possibly know that?

Kunzite: Nephrite has tried to kill Zoisite himself.  

Chief Midori:  WHAT!!!

Kunzite:  Don’t worry, I made him curse himself in such a way that it can never happen again.

[Chief Midori is staring at Kunzite in open horror]

Kunzite:  Trust me, I was careful to phrase the curse in such a way that he can’t wriggle out of it.

Chief Midori:  [weak] Why didn’t Zoi tell me about this?

Kunzite:  Zoisite never knew about it.  As far as anyone knows he merely passed out in Biology class during a blood-typing lab.  He never knew Nephrite was draining away his life-force so that he was teetering on the brink of death.

[Chief Midori opens up his mouth to say something but the doorbell rings.  Kunzite stares toward the front door.]

Kunzite:  Blackmoons.

[Chief Midori and Kunzite both rise and go to the front door.  Chief Midori peeks out to see Saffir and Esmeraude Blackmoon.  Saffir is wearing a black mandarin-collared suit with steel accents, and Esmeraude is wearing a tiny black minidress. black boots, and a black veiled cap and both are looking very somber.]

Chief Midori:  What should I do?

Kunzite:  You should do the obvious. They have Zoisite. You need to open the door, welcome them into your home, and listen to whatever they have to say.

 


	27. Lex Talionis

[Scene:  The Midori household.  Chief Midori opens the door and Esmeraude shoulders past them and lets herself in.  Saffir follows after her.]

[She stops when she sees Kunzite.]

Esmeraude:  Oh, good, you’re here.  I guess I’d better give this to YOU, then.  

[She hold out a ring to drop into Kunzite’s hand.  It’s the ring he bought Zoi in Japan.  Kunzite takes the ring with a stricken expression.]

Esmeraude:  I’m afraid we had to hurt him a little to get that ring off of him.  Oh how he fought and screamed.  It turned out he cared at lot more about that ring than he did for the finger he had it on.

[Esmeraude laughs a madwoman’s laugh until Chief Midori advances toward her.  Esmeraude whips a gun out of her purse and Saffir pulls a gun from his pocket and they both point them at him.]

Esmeraude: I wouldn’t get any ideas, Daddy-o.  Your brat’s not the only one around here who can get a bit trigger-happy.

[Chief Midori backs away and Esmeraude and Saffir walk over to the couch.  Kunzite just stands facing the mantle looking gloomy.]

Esmeraude:  Make myself comfortabler?  Don’t mind if I do. [Sits on the couch with her legs crossed at the ankles]  Some host you are.  Aren’t you going to offer us some refreshments?  

[Chief Midori says and does nothing]

Esmeraude:   No problem. I figured as much and came prepared.

[A tea set and a tiered platter of petit-fours appears on the coffee table.]  

[Saffir sits on the couch and Esmeraude pour out cups of tea for the both of them.  Then holds up the teapot.]

Esmeraude:  Would either of you gentleman care for some tea? It’s an excellent African Red Rooibos.

Chief Midori:  What have you done to Zoi?

Esmeraude: My my, where, oh where, are your manners?

Saffir:  We haven’t done much of anything to him.  

Esmeraude: [she takes a tea cake] That’s right.  He’s still sleepy.  It seems that when Calveras ruffied him on the airplane, she failed to take into consideration he’s the size of a hummingbird.  [resumes her witch’s cackle]  So we’ve just been keeping him locked in his suitcase…[to Chief Midori]  don’t look at me like that. We’ve drilled him some airholes.

[Saffir kicks Esmeraude under the table, but this doesn’t escape Chief Midori’s notice.]

Chief Midori:  Why are you here? What do you want?

Saffir:  After we captured your son, it occurred to me that you are something of a loose end.  So I’m here to explain to you why it would not be in your best interests to bring your son’s current situation to anyone else’s attention. 

[Saffir sets his teacup down and steeples his fingers]  

Saffir: Your son killed six people, including a judge—

Chief Midori:  A judge that tried to kill him first!  My son had a right to defend himself!

Esmeraude:  [to Kunzite]  And how many people have YOU killed for just trying to defend themselves!

[Kunzite doesn’t answer]

Saffir: As I was saying, my father is…was, a public figure and an elected official.  We haven’t made his death public knowledge, but his disappearance won’t go unnoticed–  

Esmeraude:  Oh, cut to the chase already! [to Chief Midori]  You don’t know where we’ve buried the bodies, but we do, and if someone were to exhume those bodies, they would find bullets can be traced to your service revolver. [laughs] So, you see, involving the FBI would do you more harm than good, given the fact there is nothing you can do to save your son.

Chief Midori:  [staggered] Nothing?

Saffir:  Oh no.  Your son has to die.  This isn’t revenge.  This is justice.  An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. A life for a life.

Esmeraude: Or in this case six lives.[laughs]  It took us forever to come up with a suitable means of execution–

Saffir:  Quiet.

Esmeraude:  I suggested that we force him to eat rat poison since there really isn’t a more painful way to die, but that wasn’t graphic enough for the other Blackmoons who wanted to see him spatter.

Saffir:  Enough.

Esmeraude:  Saffir here suggested we beat him to death with crowbars.  He wouldn’t shut up about it, it’s almost like he has a crowbar fetish, but I pointed out that would only be fun for about ten minutes or so.

Saffir: I said, be quiet.

Esmeraude: [sighs happily] But then trust my sweet King Demande to come up with a plan that would make everyone happy for hours on end.  

Chief Midori:  So Demande–

Esmeraude: Doesn’t like your son anymore?  Oh,no. He killed his father, so now he’s as revolted as the rest of us. [sighs happily] What a wise and sweetnatured man he is.  He will usher the Blackmoons into an age of unparalleled peace and prosperity. [laughs]  AFTER we bust your kid apart like a pinata, of course. 

Saffir:  Esmeraude, would you kindly SHUT UP!

Kunzite:  What are your terms for his safe release?

[Esmeraude just puts down her teacup and laughs harder]

Kunzite:  If you know of my feelings for him, you must be aware I’ll give you everything you ask for.

Esmeraude: There are no terms.  He murdered our king.  He’s going to die.  

Saffir:  He killed my father. If I were to walk into your house right now and kill your mother, would you and I have a rational discussion about how we can make things right again? 

Esmeraude: In the words of the great Tarantino: “We’re about to get medieval on his ass.”   

Saffir: But we are now ruled by my brother, who is neither heartless nor unreasonable, so we came prepared to make a deal.

Chief MidorI:  A deal?  You said my son has to die!

Saffir:  [nods] The deal is this: you don’t cause any trouble for the Blackmoons for the next twenty-four hours, and in exchange we will hand over your son’s body when we’ve finished executing him, so you can give him a decent burial.

Chief Midori:  [red with fury] There is no way—

Esmeraude: [picks up the gun]  Then we have to go with Plan B, which is my plan for tidying up the loose end.

[Saffir pushes down her hand until she rests the gun on the table]

Saffir:  Now, now, cousin, give him time.  It’s a lot to sink in, and there’s been enough bloodshed already.

[Esmeraude laughs as she picks up her teacup]

[Kunzite turns around abruptly]

Kunzite:  Take the deal.

Esmeraude  You’re not allowed to interfere!

Kunzite:  How am I interfering? Take the deal. 

Chief Midori:  Are you out of your mind?  I’m not going to—

Kunzite: TAKE THE DEAL. [through clenched teeth]  We’ll need his corpse if we’re to give your son a decent  burial.

Esmeraude:  [nearly drops her teacup]  Oh my god! You’re going to ask your mother to resurrect him, aren’t you?  [jumps to her feet in a panic and waves her hands about] You’re going to try to turn him a Shitennou!  One that may not be bound by the covenant! He’ll murder every single one of us! [to Saffir]  The deal is off!  We need to burn that shit to ashes!

Saffir:  Oh relax.  Metalia’s not going to let that happen.

Esmeraude:  You mean like she didn’t allow Neffy to take my knife through his hand?

[Kunzite’s eyes go very wide.  His shock is so palpable that the room becomes so completely silent for several seconds that all that can be heard is breathing.]

Kunzite:  How is that possible?

Esmeraude: [laughs but there is a bit of nervousness]  Even if I knew that, you think I’d tell you?  Safety first, and by that I mean my own safety, of course. Not his. Sorry, jackass, but I value my own skin a lot more than your little boyfriend’s.

[Kunzite grins an evil little grin and points his hand at the TV set.]

[The screen comes to life, and shows what looks like a video of Neffy O’Sama bound in the snow with barbed wire.  There is a green symbol on his forehead and he is chanting in a long forgotten language. He stops chanting and the symbol vanishes.]  

[As the image on the TV freezes, Kunzite bursts into hysterical laughter.]

Esmeraude: [nervous] What’s so funny.

Kunzite: You stupid girl. You just told me how to kill you.


	28. A Loophole

[scene: The Midori living room.  Esmeraude and Saffir Blackmoon are holding their breath since Kunzite has just told Esmeraude he knows how to kill her, but when a bolt of lightning doesn’t appear from his hands to smite them, they breathe a sigh of relief.]

Saffir:  He’s bluffing.

Esmeraude: Of course he’s bluffing.

Kunzite: [stares at them intensely] I’m not bluffing.

Saffir:  But the covenant–

Kunzite:  It appears I’ve created a loophole.

Esmeraude:  You’re not allowed to create a loophole!

Kunzite:  No, I’m not allowed to look for a loophole. There is nothing to stop me from discovering one without trying.

Saffir:  Oh, please.  If there is a loophole, why haven’t you killed any Blackmoons within the last thousand years?

Kunzite:  Because until now, you’ve never given me a good enough reason.

Esmeraude:  [nervous] Then why aren’t you killing us right now?

Kunzite:  Because you’re to take a message back to your king. Tell him I will be arriving at the park at Cat Rock in about three hours, as close as I can get to Blackmoon Cove without being at Blackmoon Cove.  You are to return Zoisite to me, relatively unharmed, and I will spare all of your lives.

Esmeraude: [laughs] Nice try, but we’re not falling for it.

Kunzite:  If it weren’t for Zoisite, I would be glad, since I would welcome the opportunity to wipe this infestation of Blackmoons from the Earth once and for all.  But for his sake, I’m prepared to be merciful.  

[Saffir rolls his eyes and Esmeraude sputters with laughter]

Kunzite: But harm one hair on his head and you will have made the biggest mistake the Blackmoons have ever made in your long and pathetic existence.  Hurt him, and the covenant will be broken.

Esmeraude: [winks] Oh I get it. Now you’re trying to trick us into thinking that little retard is already a Shitennou.  Nice try, but he would have melted like a crayon on a radiator the moment we brought him onto our soil.

Kunzite:  I’m not saying that at all.  I’m saying if you release him now, I will leave you in peace and forget this loophole ever presented itself.

Esmeraude:  Oh, come on! You can’t do a damn thing against us and you know it!

Kunzite:  My brother took a knife though his hand.  That should be all the evidence you need to take this seriously.

Esmeraude:  But he didn’t fight back!  I hurt him, he didn’t hurt me. The covenant might be weakening, but it’s not weak enough to let you attack us.  

Kunzite:  The covenant is not weakening. I’ve torn a hole right through the middle of it.

Esmeraude : That’s a lie. Otherwise you’d have killed one of us and sent the other back as a messenger, just to prove you aren’t full of shit!

Kunzite: You have three hours to return Zoisite to me unharmed, or you’ll all die. I am not a kind man and I’m not a reasonable man.  I’ll kill your women, I’ll kill your children.  I’ll kill the babies in their mother’s arms, and the unborn in their wombs….

[Kunzite narrows his eyes] 

Kunzite: Let him go, or in the words of the great Tarantino “I’ll execute every motherfucking one of you.”  Starting with your precious King Demande.

[Esmeraude and Saffir exchange worried glances, but then Esmeraude laughs again]

Esmeraude: You must think we were born yesterday if you expect us to hand him over just because you’ve made a bunch of idle threats.  

Saffir: [smiles a twisted little smile] Three hours is too early.  Be there at exactly 1:00 PM, and I’ll tell my brother to hand him over to you.

Esmeraude:  [stares at Saffir] You can’t be serious!

Saffir: Esmeraude, Let me handle this–

Esmeraude:  But one o’clock is when we begin Torturepalooza!

Saffir: Esmeraude!

[They stare each other down. Then Esmeraude giggles]

Esmeraude:  Oh, I get it. Yeah, Kunzite, honey, come to Cat Rock at 1 P.M. and we’ll give you back your boyfriend.  [Winks at Kunzite] Unharmed.

Saffir:  Cousin! If you don’t stop talking I’m going to rip your tongue out!

Esmeraude: [gasps in outrage crosses her arms and huffs]  How rude.

Kunzite: 1 PM.  The Park at Cat Rock.

Saffir: Come alone, or we cut his throat.

Kunzite: [shakes his head with cruel smile] I can’t promise that. At least one of my brothers will want a piece of this as well.

Saffir: Fair enough, but don’t bring anyone who isn’t a Shitennou. 

Kunzite:  [points at their guns]  And don’t you dare bring any of those.  They won’t do you any good anyway.

[Esmeraude laughs like a madwoman, as she teleports away, along with her gun and tea set.  A moment later Saffir teleports away after her.]

[Kunzite looks at the TV which is still frozen with Neffy’s image.]  

Chief Midori:  I assume you intend to try to rescue my son?

Kunzite:  [doesn’t take his eyes off the TV but a black dome surrounds the two men taking up most of the square footage of the living room] Of course.

Chief Midori:  What can I do to help?

[Kunzite points his hand at the TV and the scene changes.  Neffy is getting out of a BMW SUV, along with Mrs. Cope from the Hen Tie High Administrative Office.] 

Kunzite:  If you want to help, you need to stay as far away from Blackmoon Cove as possible.

Chief Midori:  Why?

Kunzite:  Because if this goes the way I think it will, Blackmoon Cove is about to become a scene of unprecedented slaughter.

Chief Midori: Then you weren’t bluffing?  

Kunzite:  [shakes his head] I’d never gamble with anything as precious to me as your son’s life.

Chief MidorI:  What if they bring their guns?

Kunzite:  They will bring guns.  Lots of them.  I’m counting on it.  That’s why I was careful to mention them.

Chief Midori:   [weak with relief] Reverse psychology.  So it’s all part of the plan?

Kunzite: *nods solemnly*

Chief Midori:   So it wasn’t a lie after all? You really can kill all the Blackmoons?

Kunzite: [doesn’t even smile] Not yet.  As long as they have those damned moon marks on their foreheads I can’t do a damn thing to them, but those marks should vanish within seconds if they make any attempt to hurt your son.

Chief Midori:  But they’ve already hurt him.  Remember?  They said they injured his thumb getting that ring away from him.

[Looks down at the ring in his hand and gives it to Chief Midori]

Kunzite: Hold onto this for me.  Guard it with your life.  I need to leave.  

Chief Midori:  Where are you going?

[Kunzite watches Neffy and Mrs. Cope walking through the parking lot exchanging silly looks like a pair of lovers.]

Kunzite:  I don’t have time to explain.  My brother doesn’t know it yet, but his life is in danger.  If I don’t get to him in time, Nephrite will die, the loophole will close, and all of this will have been for nothing.  

Chief Midori:  Does this have anything to do with–

Kunzite: I told you. I don’t have time to explain.

[The black dome vanished and Kunzite turns to leave, then pauses to give Chief Midori one last look]  

Kunzite:  I’m going to save Zoisite and when I do, he’s mine, not yours.  I gave you a chance,and you handed him over to his enemies.  From now on I do what I want with him, whenever I want to, and you aren’t to say a word about it.

[Kunzite takes one last look at the TV before vanishing in a flash of purple.  The screen shows Nephrite walking into the Osa-P jewelry store with Mrs. Cope, right before the screen goes black.]

 


	29. Nephrite the Thrice Cursed

[Scene:  A parking lot for a strip mall in Downtown Hen Tie. Neffy is walking to the jewelry store with Mrs. Cope from the Hen Tie High Administrative office.]

Mrs. Cope: So there was Ms Haruna, sitting there in her powder pink suit, eating a calzone with a big bowl of marinara sauce perched at the end of the table.  I told her it was going to fall over, but does she listen to me?  Nooo.  I’ve just been the top admin at Hen Tie High for fifteen year what do I know?

[Neffy is smiling fondly and giving her his undivided attention.]

Mrs. Cope:  Anyway.  It’s almost the teachers’ turn to line up at the podium and collect their awards, so she stands up, and guess that happens?

Neffy:  The bowl falls over?

Mrs. Cope: The bowl of marinara sauce tipped over and landed right on her lap.  It looked like…well I don’t have to tell you what it looked like. She started wailing that she couldn’t get up on stage looking like that.  So what does my husband do?  

Neffy:  I don’t know, what did your husband do?

Mrs Cope: [infuriated] He lent her his raincoat.

Neffy:  [stunned disbelief] No.  He didn’t!

Mrs Cope:  He did!  He didn’t even ask my permission!  He just grabbed it from his chair and handed it to and told her everything would be ok.  But it gets worse.  

Neffy:  I don’t see how.

Mrs Cope:  She rushes into the bathroom and when she came out, she was holding her suit.  Can you believe it?  My husband of twenty years hands her his coat and she immediately gets undressed so she can feel it up against her skin.  

Neffy:  Shameless.  Shameless and unforgivable.

Mrs Cope: She claimed she just wanted to wash her suit so the stains wouldn’t set but I know better…. Ms Haruna got up on stage to accept her award wearing my Craig’s coat.  In front of the entire faculty and staff. I was never so humiliated.

Neffy: [snarls]  It almost sounds like she had the whole thing planned. Just to make you look like a fool.

Mrs Cope:  I know!  I know! Craig claimed he was just being polite, but you know how predatory these single women are?

Neffy:  [shakes his head] How disgraceful.  I think if a woman can’t find a husband of her own, she has no business trying to steal another woman’s.

Mrs. Cope:  [grips his well muscled arm] That’s what I say!

Neffy:  What would she have done if your husband wasn’t there?

Mrs. Cope:  Exactly!  That’s what I wanted to know!  But he said he was there, so he felt it was the only honorable thing for him to do.

[Glances at Mrs. Cope’s hand which is still on his arm]

Neffy:  Frankly, I don’t even understand how he can look at her, when he’s got a rare catch like you.  You’re so selfless and noble. You work so hard, like an unsung hero, shaping young lives, and rarely do you get the accolades you deserve for your role in molding future generations.  You deserve to be pampered.  And I know just the thing for you.

[They enter the Osa-P jewlelry store.]

Mrs. Osaka:  Good morning.  Mrs. Cope, Mr. O’Sama.

Neffy:  Do you still have that stunning emerald pendant you had in your showcase last week.  I want to show it to my friend.

Mrs Osaka:  I sure do.  [Reaches into a display and pulls on exquisite emerald set in a pendant, perfectly round and alligator green, with flashes of yellow and orange fire.]

Mrs. Cope:  Oh, my, that is stunning.

Neffy:  The woman who wears this will command respect from all who see her.

Mrs Cope:  Oh…I couldn’t…How much is it?

Mrs Osaka:  I can give you the promotional price we ran last week, and sell it to you for only $45,000.

Mrs Cope:  Oh, I’m afraid that’s a little out of my price range.

Neffy:  [holds the emerald out to her]  How can you put a price on such majesty?  Such a jewel is fit for a queen.  No, an empress! Wear this, and people will know you are not a woman to be trifled with.

Mrs Cope:  [wavering]  Oh, but I couldn’t.  Even if I had that much, everything in is Craig’s name as well as mine, and he wouldn’t understand or approve.

Neffy:  Not everything.  You could cash out a 401K, and he’d never have know about it.

Mrs Cope:  [weakening further]  Oh, but I need that money for retirement.

Neffy: Retirement?  That’s like what, forty years away?

Mrs Cope: [giggles] A little less than forty.

Neffy:  You could be hit by a truck next week, and what good would your 401K do you then?  And even when you reach retirement age, how would that $45,000 compare to a lifetime of beautiful memories.  This pendant will alter your destiny.  I just know it.

Mrs Osaka: Would you like to try it on?  Here is a thick gold chain that goes with it.

Mrs Cope:  Oh…I mustn’t …

Neffy:  No. You must.

[Mrs Osaka puts the pendant on the chain and holds out the necklace to Mrs. Cope, but it falls from her hand as both women faint and slump to the floor.

Neffy:  What the—

[No sooner does Neffy turn around then he sees Kunzite]

Neffy:  Damn it, Kunzite.  You picked a hell of a time and a place for a feeding.   I’ve been grooming that witch for a week.

[A thick chain appears between them.  One side of the chain ending in an iron collar around Neffy’s neck and then other in an iron cuff around Kunzite’s wrist.]

Neffy: What the hell?

[Neffy pulls at the collar, which is locked tight.  He tries to direct dark energy at Kunzite, but instead it travels down the chain and is absorbed by Kunzite.]

Kunzite:  Don’t worry.  So long as you wear that chain you will be unable to escape me, or focus any of your dark energy.

Neffy:  What is the meaning of this?  Release me at once!

Kunzite:  That would be a terrible idea.  [smiles] In a few seconds you are going to come to the shocking realization that this chain is the only thing that is keeping you alive.


	30. Did I mention Kunzite’s Evil?

[Scene:  The Osa-P jewelry store.  Mrs. Cope and Mrs. Osaka are still lying unconscious on the foor. Neffy is still tethered by a collar around his neck.]

Neffy:  [continues to pull at the collar] You can’t do this. I’ll tell mother!

Kunzite:  Zoisite has killed six Blackmoons.  Including Billy Blackmoon and one of his direct nephews.

Neffy:  Yeah?  Good for him. So what?

Kunzite:  So they’ve captured him and they are holding him at Blackmoon Cove.

[Neffy’s eyes go wide and he breaks into a sweat.]

Kunzite: So far he is safe, but they intend to torture and kill him at one o’clock this afternoon.

Neffy: No!  [Neffy covers his ears] I don’t believe you!

Kunzite:  Yes you do…  I’ve convinced them to hold the execution at Cat Rock, so we’ll get a good view of the proceeding. I’ve done my best to talk them out of it, but of course it did no good.They aren’t going to pass up an opportunity to make Zoisite scream for me, knowing I can do nothing to save him… [grins] Still want me take that chain off your neck?

Neffy:  You son of a bitch!  Why are you telling me this?

Kunzite:  I heard all about your fight with Esmeraude Blackmoon. 

Neffy:  Yeah, what about it?

Kunzite:  In spite of the covenant, and your total animousity toward us, you protected my husband with your life.  Even taking a knife through your hand.

Neffy:  [grumbles]  Yeah, well deep down, I’m just a big softy.

Kunzite: I very much doubt that.  Am I correct in thinking you were unwilling to protect Zoisite, but you just couldn’t help yourself?

Neffy:  You know damn well I couldn’t help myself, you haughty bastard!

Kunzite:  Then I’m right.  When the Blackmoon’s betrayed the White Queen and allowed us to win the Battle of the Silver Crystal, Mother cursed us so that we are unable to kill, harm, or even interfere with the Blackmoons.  We weren’t even allowed to look for a loophole.  But I found one anyway, did I not?

[Neffy just huffs and gives Kunzite an angry glare]

Kunzite:  How unlucky it is for you that Blackmoons weren’t the only people who tried to use my deep and profound affections for my beloved as a weapon against me.  

Neffy:  …

Kunzite:  You tried to kill him during biology class.  You drained away his energy, and I barely reached you in time to save him.  I didn’t have time to deal with the both of you, so I made you put a curse on yourself so you could never harm him again.  

[Kunzite smiles]

Kunzite:  You should have gone easier on him.  You didn’t leave me a lot of time to think so I had to make the curse a broadreaching as possible, didn’t I?

[Neffy averts his eyes]

Kunzite:  The curse I inflicted upon you that you must protect Zoisite at all costs, even at the expense of your own safety.  Which would seem, in its roundabout way, to cancel out Mother’s directive for you not to interfere with the Blackmoons.

Neffy:  Yes, but that doesn’t mean I can fight with them!

Kunzite:  [coy]  Oh?

Neffy:   I can’t attack them  I can’t kill them.  I can’t even fight back if they hit me. All I can do is push your wifey-boy out of the way or get in front of him and act as a shield.

Kunzite: [grins] Yes. I figured as much.  Fortunately that might be enough.

Neffy:  How is that enough?  What is it that do you expect me to do, exactly?

Kunzite: I expect you to do your very best to save my husband’s life, but failing that, I expect you to die horribly.

[Neffy gasps as his eyes open wide with comprehension]

Kunzite:  [still smiling] I’m sorry, Nephrite.  I take no joy in this [smiles like a lying fiend]   but the Blackmoons refuse to listen to reason.  If I have to lose someone, it’s either you or him…  And it certainly is not going to be him.

Neffy:  Goddammit, Kunzite.  Mother will have your hide for this!

Kunzite:  Do you think I care?  If I can get Zoisite back from the Blackmoons, unharmed, do you think I care what happens to me afterwards?

Neffy:  You son of a bitch.

Kunzite: Besides, what am I doing that’s so terrible?  You were doomed the moment I told you Zoisite is at Blackmoon Cove.  The only thing that’s keeping you from teleporting there and trying to save him right now is that chain and the knowledge I won’t let you.  Yet.  So if anything, you should thank me for prolonging your miserable life.

Neffy:  Oh, I’ll get you for this.

Kunzite:  Sadly, I don’t think you’ll ever get the chance.  Shall we go?

Neffy:  [oddly resigned] Alright.  Let’s go.

[Neffy allows himself to be led to the exit, until he is within armslength of a fire extinguisher. In a flash he grabs it from the wall. With a scream he tries to bash Kunzite with it as hard as he can.  The extinguisher passes through Kunzite like he’s a ghost, and Neffy falls though him and onto a jewelry displaycase, cracking it with his weight.]

Kunzite:  What do you think you’re doing?

[Neffy lefts out a warcry, and tries to take Kunzite out with a sweeping kick, but Kunzite vanishes and rematerializes a few feet away, still tethered to Neffy.]

Kunzite: [losing patience] I don’t understand what you hope to accomplish.  Did you learn nothing from watching me kill Tanzanite?

Neffy:  [laughs as he hurls the fire extinguisher at Kunzite] Oh I learned quite a lot from watching you kill Tanzanite.

[Kunzite ducks and Neffy tries to send a flying punch at Kunzite’s midsection, but Kunzite dodges him and Neffy goes flying into a jewelry case shattering it from the impact sending glass and jewelry flying.

Kunzite: [getting anxious]  Stop this at once. You can’t channel any dark energy. You can’t defeat me, and even if you could, that chain is the only thing keeping you alive!

[Neffy ignores him and steps up the attack moving with lightning fast fury.  Despite the fact he has the upper-hand, Kunzite becomes rattled and starts fighting back.  As good as a fighter as Nephrite is, he’s not a match for Kunzite, Not without magic. Neffy holds his own for a minute or two, then Kunzite deals a brutal beatdown, until at last Neffy is kneeling on the ground and Kunzite summons an energy blade.]

Neffy:  [despite the beating he just took, laughs with delight] That’s right!  Kill me! Lose yourself to the bloodlust, you berserker motherfucker!

Kunzite:  [Almost coming to his sense.  Almost.] Why are you doing this?

Neffy:  Because…Fuck you!  And fuck your little pansy boyfriend!  If I have to die today I intend to die NOT saving him!

[Kunzite dispels the energy blade and yanks Nephrite up by the hair.]

Kunzite: [wild eyed]  You’re saving him! Even if I have to drag your halfdead miserable carcass over to Blackmoon Cove and throw you at them myself!

Neffy:  Haha. Over my dead body!

Naru:  YOU!!!

[Both Shitennou turn and see Naru holding her cellphone and pointing at Kunzite.]

Naru:  KUNZITE! I knew you were a bad person!  Don’t worry Neffy!  I’m calling 911!

Neffy:  [terrified]  No, Naru. Don’t!

[A bolt of energy erupts from Kunzite’s hand and Naru screams as the cell phone is blasted from her hand.]

[Kunzite advances on Naru dragging Neffy behind him]

Neffy:  Kunzite, no!

Kunzite:  [laughing like a madman as the energy blade reappear in his hand]  Little girl, you were in the wrong place at the wrong time!


	31. The Power of the Parfait

[Scene:  The Osa-P jewelry store.  Kunite is advancing on Naru Osaka with an energy blade in his hand. Naru is staring him down with her hands on her hips, seemingly oblivious to how much danger she is in.  Neffy is trying to pull Kunzite back with the chain that is tethering Kunzite’s wrist to Neffy’s neck.]

Neffy:  What are you doing!  That is an innocent little girl!

Kunzite:  An innocent girl who is about to get Zoisite killed with her meddling.

Naru:  I’m not meddling.  I live here.

Neffy:  [pleading] Come on, Kunzite…Have a heart…let her go.

Kunzite: [looks at Neffy in disbelief]  You made her steal a necklace for your trophy collection, knowing it could ruin her life.  Why do you even care?

Neffy:  I have no idea.  Just, please, let her go.

Kunzite: [shakes his head] I can’t let her go.  She’ll talk.

Naru:  You’re damn right I’ll talk!

Neffy:  Naru!  [pulls harder on the chain but ends up getting dragged.]  You can’t kill her.

Kunzite:  I have to.  She’s going to call 911 the moment we leave here. I can’t deal with this now. She’s going to get Zoisite killed and I can’t allow that.

Neffy:  Drain her energy.  Knock her out.

Kunzite:  I can’t keep her knocked out until one o’clock.

Neffy:  She can come with us.

Kunzite: [shakes his head again]  The Blackmoons said not to bring anyone who isn’t a Shitennou or they’ll cut Zoisite’s throat.

[Kunzite is drawing close to Naru]

Neffy:  Kunzite!  Stop! Don’t do this!  I’ll help you save your little buddy!

Kunzite:  [doesn’t even slow down] Of course you will.  You have no choice. That has nothing to do with the situation at hand.

Neffy:  Think about what you’re about to do!  How messed up this is!  That is one of Wifey-boy’s best friends! If you murder her, he will hate you forever!

Kunzite: You don’t get it, do you?  I WANT him to hate me forever!  I deserve to be hated by him!

Neffy:  You don’t have to do this.  Just do that trick where you tamper with her memories.  Make her remember some freak explosion.

Kunzite:  I’m not in the mood to tamper with her memories. She’d have to cooperate and I’m not in the mood to make her cooperate.  I’m in a killing mood right now.

Neffy:  You can’t do this…you owe me…remember that day at the hospital…when Mother wanted to kill Wifey-boy and I voted to spare his life…?

[Kunzite finally stops short]

Kunzite:  After you voted to kill him.

Neffy:  Yes, but I changed my mind.  Just like you’re going to change your mind right now.

[Kunzite ponders this and the energy blade disappears]

Kunzite:  Point taken.  It appears I do owe you a debt of honor.

[Ponders it some more.]

Kunzite:  Oh, to hell with it.  Debt of honor or not, I don’t feel dealing with some belligerent little brat. Unless I get to kill her.

[The blade reappears and Kunzite continues advancing on Naru]

Neffy:  I’ll talk to her.  Let me talk to her.

Kunzite: [stops] Fine, you have five minutes.

[Neffycomes over to Naru and kneels beside her and takes hold of both of her arms.]

Neffy:  Naru? sweetiepie? 

[Naru smiles at him in the adoring way only the truly lovestruck are capable of]]

Neffy: I know what this looks like, but Kunzite isn’t the bad guy here.  I am.  Kunzite’s a nice guy. He’s just a little upset right now–and justifiably so–because the Blackmoons have kidnapped your friend Zoi.

Naru: [alarmed]  The Blackmoons have kidnapped Zoi?

Neffy:  [nods] And they are going to kill him, unless Kunzite and I go and save him, and right now I’m being an ass about it.

Naru:  [jaw drops]  If Zoi’s is in danger we need to call 911 right away..

Neffy:  We can’t… they said they’d kill him if we talk to anyone, and that includes you.

Naru: [looks at Kunzite and her face becomes dubious]   If Kunzite’s such a nice guy, why is he making you wear a collar around your neck?

Neffy:  …It… it’s a little hard to explain…

Naru:  [crosses her arms]  You have five minutes, don’t you?

Neffy:  Um…you see…we’re going to have to trick them… and…if I don’t wear this chain they… you see Kunzite has this elaborate plan…and…um…they won’t believe I’d help him…so they see us together and if I don’t wear this chain…they will know we are trying to trick them and they’ll kill your friend.

Kunzite: [implores the heaven] You know, Nephrite, this would a be a lot simpler for you if you’d just let me kill her.

Neffy:  Kunzite!  That’s not helping!

Naru:  [wide eyed and innocent] Does this have anything to do with the ruby necklace I gave you?

Neffy:  Yes!  Exactly! It has everything to do with the ruby necklace you gave me.   You see, I was supposed to deliver that necklace to the Blackmoons.  Except I didn’t.  When you gave me the replacement necklace I liked it so much I decided to keep it for myself.  So they took your friend Zoi.  

Naru: Why would they take Zoi?

Neffy:  Because… they knew that if they took him, my brother here would go completely batshit and make me give them the necklace.

Naru:  So why don’t you just give them the necklace?  Why do you need to come up with some elaborate plan to trick them?

Neffy:  Because… um

[Neffy looks to Kunzite, who gives him a “please let me kill her” look in return.]

Neffy: …because they are so upset with me right now, they are probably going to kill him anyway. And then they’ll kill me too.

Naru:  And what about Kunzite?

Neffy: Oh, no.  He gets to live no matter what.

Naru:  [Naru bursts into tears] You can’t fool me.  Kunzite is bringing you to them in chains so they can kill you instead him. I’m sorry, I can’t let that happen.

Neffy:  Why not.

Naru:  Because… I love you!

Kunzite:  *laughs*

Neffy:  Kunzite!

Kunzite:  I’m sorry, but as someone who understands what love really is, her self-delusion is hilarious to me.

Neffy: Stop it!

Kunzite: I hate to break this to you, little miss, but I’ve actually experienced true love, and it’s a bit more involved than getting the tingles for some preening sociopath and then bonding over grand larceny.

[Neffy glares at Kunzite then turns back to Naru]

Neffy: Ignore him… I’m going to be fine…everything will be ok… You’re going to need to be a big brave girl and let him hypnotize you… and when all this is over… [talks like it hurts to get the words out] …I’ll take you out for a chocolate parfait.

Naru:  [smiles] Really?  Like on a date?  A real date?

Neffy:  [still pained] Of course I will.  You’re easily and by far my favorite freshman girl at Hen Tie High.  

Naru: Really?

Neffy: Help us help your friend and I’ll take you out and buy you the biggest damn parfait you’ve ever seen.  

Naru:  [hopping with excitement]  Oh my god!

Neffy:  [nods] Just please, don’t give Kunzite any more trouble.

[Naru allows herself to be convinced that the fight she witnessed and the subsequent conversation never took place.  That she was caught in a freak explosion that knocked out her mother and Mrs. Cope, but miraculously left them uninjured.]

[Kunzite does make sure she remembers Neffy’s promise to take her out for a parfait though, just because he finds it amusing.]

[Then he drains her energy until she is unconscious and they replace the fire extinguisher before leaving.]

Neffy:  [sheepish] I know I don’t say this enough, but thank you.

Kunzite:  [smirks]  Don’t worry….  You’re probably not going to live long enough to have to buy her that chocolate parfait.

 


	32. Reunited At Last

[Scene: 12:45.  The park at Cat Rock, which straddles the border between Black Moon Cove and the rest of Hen Tie. ]

[The Blackmoons are enjoying a picnic.  Blankets are spread out on the grass with baskets of wine and fruit, cheese, bread and pate and other delicacies.]

[The Blackmoons are grouped like ducks.  A few are paired off and sitting two to a blanket, but for the most part it is larger groups.  One man with anywhere from two to five women, or one woman with anywhere from two to five men.]  

[A few Blackmoons, in white shirts, thin ties, and black slacks are acting as servers, uncorking bottles, handing out warm towelettes and clearing away debris for the other Blackmoons.  Each is also wearing a holstered handgun. These Blackmoons have either faint or incomplete moons on their foreheads, while the Blackmoons in groups with multiple members of the opposite sex have the darkest moons.]

[There is one table, facing the other picnickers. At the center is a microphone, and in the largest and most ornate chair is King Demande with his scepter at his side. At his left is his cousin Esmeraude, and at his right is his brother Saffir.  They do not have a basket, but instead are being served by the Blackmoon waitstaff. There is a hopper nearby, the type they use for Bingo games.]

[It might almost seem like a corporate teambuilding event, if it weren’t the old fashioned whipping post at the center of the grounds.  And a long table nearby covered with common household objects: whips, paring knives, box cutters, pliers, drills, blowtorches, bottles of drain cleaner, power sanders, nail-guns, safety pins, liquid nitrogen, crowbars, icepicks, baseball bats, etc… Anything that might inflict a lot of pain on a person without killing him outright.]

[Kunzite and Neffy are standing on the outskirts, watching with their arms crossed over their chest.  They are still wearing the chain, of course.  The Blackmoons are ignoring them like they aren’t even there.]

[Eventually, Saffir Blackmoon taps his glass with a fork and speaks into the microphone.]

Saffir: Everyone.  If I can get your attention.  My brother is ready to lead off the festivities.

Demande:  [Places down his wineglass speaks into the microphone]  Welcome everyone, to our first annual Torturepoolza. Due its special nature, I anticipate this will be a one time thing. But you never know…if today’s event proves as much of a crowd-pleaser as I think it will, we might find a way to make this into an annual event.

Kunzite:  [chuckles under his breath] Oh I can promise you that nothing like this will ever happen again.

[Demande smiles as if he was paid an especially kind compliment]

Demande:  Let’s extend a warm Blackmoon welcome to our guest of honor. The man who put the homo in homicidal maniac: Kunzite O’Sama!

[There are a few polite golf claps, but for the most part the Blackmoons continue to ignore him.]

Neffy:  Listen to me!  All of you!  He’s not playing around!  He’s got a plan!  And he’s about three misfiring synapses away from going into full lunatic mode so you need to turn that little brat over to him unharmed or we’re all going to die today!

Saffir:  We?

[A scold’s bridle appears on Neffy]

Kunzite: You talk too much.

Demande:  On that note, let’s bring out the condemned.

[A couple of Blackmoon’s lead out Zoi. He’s shirtless and his hairband is gone and his hair is a mess. His head is down, but he looks more angry than frightened.  But his entire demeanor changes when he sees Kunzite.]

Zoi:  KUNZITE! [screams with excitement like he just won a new car on a game show]  You came back for me!

Kunzite:  Of course, I came back for you.

[Kunzite tries to keep up his stern demeanor, but when he sees Zoi, his heart melts and he smiles back just as fondly]

Zoi:  [grinning from ear to ear] I was so sure I’d never see you again.

Kunzite:  They aren’t going to hurt you.  As soon as they try anything, we’re going to wipe them from the Earth. You have to have faith in me.  

[Zoi just stares adoringly at him, as if trying to take in as much of him as he can.]

Kunzite: In a few minutes you will be safe in my arms.  And after that, I will never leave your side again.  I swear upon my honor we will never spend another night apart from each other.

Esmeraude:  He’s bluffing!

Zoi:  I don’t even care!  He came back for me, and that’s all that matters.

Kunzite: I’m not bluffing.

Zoi:  It doesn’t matter to me if you are.  You came back.  This is a good day.  Nothing they can do to me now will change that.

[Zoi continues to gaze at Kunzite adoringly over one shoulder as they lead him to the post and string the chain between his handcuffs.  When they grab his hands he screams in pain]

[Neffy strains forward like a dog on a leash, but Kunzite pulls him back.]

Zoi:  [To Kunzite] I think my thumb is broken.

Kunzite:  I’ll have Beryl fix it for you, as soon as I can.

[As they hoist the chain to raise his arms, Zoi gives Kunzite a sad look] 

Zoi:  Kunzite.  They took my ring.

Kunzite:  We have your ring.  They brought it to your father’s house.

Zoi: [smiles through the pain] Do you still have the one I gave you?

Kunzite:  Of course, I do.  

[Kunzite hikes up his pantleg to show it to him.]

Kunzite:  I’ll wear it forever. 

[Zoi is now smiling with pure joy and adoration.]

Zoi:  I missed you.

Kunzite:  I know, Zoisite.  Believe me, I know.  It’s like they’ve taken half of my soul away with you.

Zoi:  [bats his eyes coquettishly] Come and get it, then.

Kunzite:  Soon, as soon as I possibly can. But first I will make them pay for this.

Zoi:  I love you.

Kunzite:  Could you believe, despite everything I’ve put you through, I love you too?

Zoi:  Yes, I can, actually.

Kunzite:  I’ll be with you soon.

Zoi:  I’ll be waiting.

Esmeraude:  Oh, my god! This is so sickening! You two crazies deserve each other!

[Kunzite and Zoi ignore her and continue to gaze at each other adoringly.]

Demande:  That’s enough of that.  We need to get this party started, so someone get up there and give the hopper a spin.

[Nobody moves]

Esmeraude:  Koan!  Get up there and give the hopper a spin.

[Koan smiles and saunters up to the bingo cage.  She gives it a turn of the crank and everyone’s anxiety evaporates as she draws out a name.]

Koan:  SAFFIR.  You’re up first.


	33. A Fatal Error

 [Scene:  Blackmoon Cove.  Saffir rises from his chair and walks to the table covered with implements]

Demande:  Lucky Saffir.  He gets to draw first blood.  [To Esmeraude] What you think?  Crowbar?

Esmeraude: I’m betting… crowbar.

Demande:  I think you’d have a hard time getting anyone here to bet against you.

[Saffir picks up a crowbar. Then looks at Zoi, who still hasn’t taken his eyes off Kunzite.]

[Then Saffir puts it back down and picks up a bullwhip]

Demande:  Whoa. What a shocking development.  Mr. Crowbar has abandoned his initial gameplan of bludgeoning the poor lad and has decided to adopt the more dramatic but decidedly less lethal bull-whip.

Esmeraude:  You think this change in strategy has anything to do with the fact he gets to go first?

Demande:  That would certainly explain it.  A crowbar might be a bit too senseless for this early in the game, but a whip would provide the wakeup call this youngster needs in order to comprehend just how thoroughly screwed he is at the moment.

[Saffir takes his place behind whipping post, shaking out the coils of the whip and taking aim as Zoi’s back.]

[Zoi swallows hard with wide eyes and is finally starting to look frightened.]

Kunzite:  Courage, Zoisite. Regardless of how this looks, he won’t actually harm you.

[There is a flash next to Neffy.  Kunzite frowns as Jeddy appears, dressed like Rambo, with a Bowie knife in each hand.]

Kunzite:  [in a low voice] I certainly hope you’re not here to try to intervene for Nephrite’s sake.

Jeddy:  [laughs with glee] And give up our one and only shot at wiping out the Blackmoons once and for all?  I wouldn’t dream of it!

[Neffy give him a scathing look over his bridle]

Jeddy:  No offense Neffy, but I’m just here for my piece of the action. Though I must say, Kunzite, I’m rather hurt that you decided to host a genocide and didn’t think to invite me.

Kunzite: [a bit uneasy] You figured out what is about to happen here?

Jeddy: [shrugs] Isn’t it obvious?

[Kunzite and Neffy both stare at him.  Jeddy sighs]

Jeddy: Beryl explained it to me.

Kunzite:  Where’s Beryl?

Jeddy:  She’s back on her divan, sipping cocktails and watching us in her crystal ball.  [waves]

Kunzite:  So she doesn’t want any part of this?

Jeddy: She’d rather not get her gown all messy with bit of flying Blackmoon, so she’s happy enough just watching.

Kunzite: Just stay out of my way. [points at Demande] And leave that one for me.  I vowed I’d kill him first.

[A few of the Blackmoon are getting nervous, including Demande, who is frowning with open concern.]

[Esmeraude grabs the microphone.]

Emseraude:  In case any of you morons are too stupid to figure it out, this is called ACTING!  That’s when people say stuff that’s NOT TRUE, and anyone with half a brain knows it’s NOT TRUE, but STUPID people still BELIEVE them!  The Shitennou figure if they keep LYING, we might start to FORGET there is absolutely NOTHING they can do to any of us!

[Her voice is so belittling in its tone that any nervous Blackmoons feel foolish and resume a cold and disdainful demeanor.]

Kunzite:  You’re wrong, you stupid girl.  

Esmeraude: Really?  Then what’s your PLAN, smartass?

Kunzite:  The only thing you need to know is that your cousin here is about to break the covenant, and once the covenant is broken, you lose all of Mother’s protection from us.  

[Kunzite addressed the larger assembly]

Kunzite:  This is your last chance.  Convince your king to let Zoisite go without further harm and I will be forever in your debt.  But persist in this foolishness and you have my solemn word that I will show no mercy to any of you.  Your might is nothing compared to the Shitennou.  Those moons will vanish from your heads and once they do, you will flee like rats. For all the good it will do you.  We will hunt your entire species to extinction.

[Turns his attention to Demande]

Kunzite:  This will be the End of Times for the Blackmoon Clan, and you, King Demande, will be the ill-fated monarch who brought about the end of his people. For no good reason I can think of. You won’t even have a place in history. As of tomorrow the Blackmoon Clan will all be dead and forgotten.

[There is a moment of absolute silence]

[Saffir stands, uncertain how to proceed.  He looks to his Demande.]

[Demande leans close to the microphone]                  

Demande:  Give him hell, brother.

[Saffir draws back his arm, and with a savage warcry, brings it forward to lash out with the whip.]

Jeddy:  [grinning] And clang goes the dinner bell.

[The following happens in the blink of an eye….]

[Kunzite releases Neffy, leaving him completely unfettered.]

[Neffy vanishes in a flash and reappears inches from Zoi, catching the barb of the whip in his hand.]

[Neffy screams in terrible agony as his flesh starts to melt from his body, since a Shitennou can do nothing at Blackmoon Cove, but scream in agony as the flesh melts from his body.]

[The Blackmoons scream in mindless terror at the unexpected spectacle of a Shitennou on their land. And a melting, screaming Shitennou at that.  Some cower, some just scream, but the ones that have guns draw their weapons and open fire on Neffy.]

[In that very instant they realize what they have just done.  They have done the one thing they have been trained from birth not to do. They have willingly and deliberately attacked a Shitennou with intent to cause harm.]

[In a split second Neffy’s flesh stops melting.  He looks down at his dripping hands, which are rapidly healing themselves, and he laughs hysterically.]

Neffy:  You fools!  I’m alive!  Oh my god! It worked!  Kunzite’s plan actually worked!

[He laughs harder as the Blackmoons gasp in terror as they watch the moons fading from each other’s foreheads.]

 


	34. War is Hell

[Scene:  Blackmoon Cove.  The covenant has been broken so now the Shitennou can attack the Blackmoons with impunity.  They’ve waited thousands of years for this moment so Neffy and Jeddy are taking full advantage.  The Blackmoons knock each other out of the way and trip over picnic baskets as they run for their lives.]

[Kunzite teleports directly to the table where Demande Blackmoon is sitting.  Esmeraude Blackmoon throws herself in front of Demande with her arms spread wide to protect him, but Kunzite just bats her out of the way.  He then summons an energy blade and drives it through Demande Blackmoon’s chest, killing him instantly.  He sweeps his arm back and kills a sobbing Esmeraulde Blackmoon on the recoil, then kills Saffir in a similar manner when he teleports in screaming to avenge his beloved brother.]

[Kunzite grins with sadistic glee as he surveys the scene around him, wondering who he is going to kill next.  His primary grudge has been settled with the death of the Blackmoon royal family, but he swore he’d kill everyone, and he’s thirsty for blood.  But not so bloodthirsty that he isn’t willing to let his brothers have their fun as well.]

[He scans the scene again, but sobers a little when he sees Zoi still chained to the post, slumped as far as he can with his head and hair hanging down.]  

[Kunzite’s glad he’s fainted.  A Shitennou/Blackmoon war isn’t something he wants him witnessing.]

[Kunzite teleports to his side.]

Kunzite:  Come on, sleepyhead.  This is no place for you to be.  Let’s get you to safety.

[Zoi doesn’t respond so Kunzite shake his arm softly to stir him awake.]

[When Kunzite touches Zoi’s skin, it is slightly cooler than it should be.]

[Kunzite frowns but his mind will not allow him to process what that might mean.  He shakes Zoi harder.]

Kunzite: Zoisite.  Wake up.  You have to wake up.

[Zoi does not wake. Comprehension is starting to seep in, as much as Kunzite wishes it wouldn’t.]

[With trembling fingers, Kunzite brushes Zoi’s hair back from his face.   Zoi’s lips are pale, his eyes are open and staring at nothing.]

Kunzite:  Oh, no, Zoisite. No!

[Kunzite brushes his hair back further.]

Kunzite:  Zoisite, please, Zoisite, listen to me, please, please, Zoisite, please.

[He pushed the hair away from Zoi’s temple.]

[There is a bullethole above Zoi’s left ear.]

Kunzite:  Zoisite, Zoisite, no, oh please, no, no!

[Kunzite gathers up Zoi’s body into his arms and carries him away from the post.]

Kunzite:  Don’t worry.  I can fix this.  I will fix this.

[In an instant Neffy appears, grinning like the cat that ate the canary.]

Neffy:  Can I take a moment to point out how hilarious this is?

[Kunzite just stares at him, shellshocked]

Neffy:  All this hard work, all this careful planning, all these long speeches and threats and grandiose rescue plans…only you ended up getting the tyke killed by a stray bullet.

[Kunzite stares at Neffy with equal measures of selfloathing and murderous intent.]

Neffy:  [thoroughly enjoying himself] Hey, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying this wasn’t good plan.  It was! It did work, after all, and for that I’m more grateful than you could ever know.  I’m just saying you might have put a litttttle more thought into the part where you sent a firing squad after me while I was standing right in front of the little guy.    

[Neffy laughs and claps Kunzite on the shoulder]

Neffy:  You know, strategy was never your forte. Manipulation, yes.  Bullying, definitely.  Delegation, you have that down to a science.  You have a keen understanding of human weakness, but not much of a head for tactical thinking.

[Neffy shakes his head sadly]

Neffy:  I’m sorry to say it, but you’re just not detail-oriented enough to be a good planner.

[Kunzite’s howls at Neffy in rage]

[Neffy backs away in terror and finds it prudent to teleport far away.]

Kunzite:  [To Zoi]  Zoisite, you’re going to be fine.  Do you hear me, Zoisite?  I love you.

[Kunzite teleports to Beryl.]

[Beryl is wearing a crimson and violet couture gown and rises from the divan with a look of pity.]

Beryl:  [approaches] Oh, Kunzite.

Kunzite:  [stern] Fix this.

Beryl:  [taken aback] Kunzite, what do you expect me to do?

Kunzite:  Heal him.  He’s hurt.  Use your healing magic. You need to heal him.

Beryl:  He’s not hurt.  He’s dead!

[Kunzite just stares at her]

Kunzite:  Bring him back to me.

Beryl:  Kunzite… [Gives him a sad look] … he has a hole in his brain.

Kunzite: Are you saying you can’t fix this?

Beryl:  I’m saying I don’t even think Mother could fix this.

[They stare at each other in silence]

Kunzite:  We’re about to find out.

Beryl:  Kunzite!  No!

[In a flash, Kunzite is gone.]  

[Beryl teleports after him]


	35. The King of the Sparrows

[Scene: the Hen Tie Hospital.  Metalia’s private quarters are always guarded against any sort of outside magic, so Kunzite is carrying Zoi’s body toward a door with a placard that says Dr. Metalia O’Sama.

Beryl:  Kunzite!  Stop!  Think about what you are doing!

[Kunzite just gives her a baleful stare and keeps walking.]

Beryl:  Please.  Don’t do this.  Don’t you remember what happened with Endymion?

Kunzite:  Endymion was a traitor.  A traitor and a whore.

Beryl:  And mother respected that about him!

Kunzite:  She will elevate Zoisite.  I will make her elevate Zoisite.

Beryl:  Kunzite, please, stop and think. He’s been dead for several minutes.  If mother thought there was any possibility she could make Zoi into a Shitennou, she would have made him into a Shitennou by now.  

[Kunzite keeps walking]

Beryl:  You are going to make things worse for yourself.

Kunzite:  Nothing could be worse than this.

[The door to office flies open and Kunzite walks in.  Beryl hesitates then follows him in]

The inside of Dr. Metalia’s office smells like eucalyptus and is filled couches and recliners, with floral slipcovers that match the floral wall paper.  There is a platter of homemade sugar cookies on the coffee table.  The walls are decorated with diplomas, photos of what Beryl and the Shitennou would have looked like as children, cross-stitch samplers, turkeys handpainted from palm prints, and tiny plaster molds of handprints labeled Kunzite, Beryl, Nephrite, and Jadeite, respectively.]

[A woman who looks exactly like Mary Worth in a lab coat, heels and pearls is tapping a birdcage that contains a sparrow.  The sparrow flutters its wings as Beryl and Kunzite enters and flies to the far side of the cage and picks at birdseed.]

Metalia:  Go on.  Tell mommy that you love her.  Tell mommy that you love her….bah, you stupid thing!

Kunzite:  Mother.

Metalia:  [takes her time turning around] What?  Can’t you see I’m busy right now? I have a new baby and I’m teaching it how to talk.

Kunzite:  You’re not busy.  You’re playing with a stupid bird.

[Beryl looks like she’s about to swoon.] 

Beryl:  Mother.  Before this goes any further I just want you to know I have nothing to do with this. I just came here to try to talk him out of bothering you with his problems.

Metalia:  Clearly, you aren’t doing a very good job of it.  [To Kunzite]  What do you want?  Make it quick.

Kunzite:  My husband is dead.  I need you to resurrect him.

Metalia:  No.

Kunzite: [incredulous] No?

Metalia:  No. I will not resurrect him.  I don’t know how to make myself any clearer.  Now go away.

[focuses her attention back on the sparrow]  

Metalia:  Tell mommy that you love her.  Tell mommy that you love her… oh, my little love.  Why must you be so stubborn?

Kunzite:  It can’t talk!  It’s a damn sparrow!

[Beryl clamps her hand to her mouth] 

Metalia:  It can talk, you fool!  It just chooses not to!

[Beryl backs away to distance herself from Kunzite and bumps into Neffy, who is watching with great amusement.]

Kunzite:  Elevate him!

Metalia:  The sparrow?

Kunzite:  No, not the sparrow!

Metalia:  Oh, so you think you can tell me what to do? A major goddess of chaos?  I made you!  I can unmake you just as quickly!

Kunzite:  [Enraged]  For ages upon ages, I have served you tirelessly!  I have destroyed nations! I have ground empires into sand!  And in all this time I have asked you for nothing!   You owe me this!

Metalia:  You are a slave.  And an unruly slave, at that. I owe you nothing.

Kunzite:  You have three Shitennou.  You need a fourth. I have in my arms the only candidate I will ever tolerate.

Metalia:  He was ill-suited to become a Shitennou.  He was too weak. And he made you too weak as well.

Kunzite:  He is not weak.  He killed six Blackmoons on his own initiative.

Neffy: [waves his hands in mock terror] Ohhh… the little boy picked up a gun to save his daddy from the big scary space monsters!  That’s the stuff nightmares are made of.

[Kunzite gives him a look that makes him take a step backwards.  Metalia narrows her eyes at Kunzite and hisses between her teeth]

Beryl:  [steps in front of Kunzite and drops into a low curtsy] Please mother.  Go easy on Kunzite.  He’s gone mad with grief and he’s not thinking clearly.

[ Metalia smiles at the show of submission]

Metalia: it appears I’ve humbled the wrong child. [turns her eyes to Kunzite and her gaze hardens]  I’ve spoiled you, Kunzite, and it’s made you arrogant.  I should have humbled you the way I humbled Beryl.  She’s been as meek as a lamb since I punished her.

[Kunzite continues to stare back with absolutely no repentance]

[Jeddy walks in.]

Jeddy:  There you all are.  What did I miss?

[The room is silent]

[Jeddy sees the sparrow picking at seeds at the back of the birdcage]

Jeddy:  Oh, you got a bird.  [whistles at it and taps the cage]  Pretty bird, pretty bird… What’s its name?

Metalia: [annoyed at Jeddy] It doesn’t have a name.  It’s a sparrow.

Jeddy:  Ah…It needs a name….how about Captain Jack?

Neffy:  [under his breath at Jeddy]  What are you?  Three?

Metalia:  No, Jadeite is correct.  I’ve adopted him so he should have a name….

[Metalia stares right at Kunzite]  

Metalia:  I know.  I’ll call him Tanzanite..after my beloved son who was so foully murdered. As I recall his murder was never avenged. I think it’s high time we corrected that.

[Kunzite doesn’t even blink]

[Metalia turns her gaze to the sparrow]

Metalia:  You hear that, Tiny Tanzanite.  I do need a fourth Shitennou, after all. Would you like to be the First Among Kings? To make that big arrogant fool bend at the knee to an itty-bitty thing like you?  Wouldn’t that be funny?  A fluffy little cheep-cheep as a Shitennou.  All you have to do is tell mommy that you love her. 

[The sparrow picks at seeds]

Metalia:  Beh, you’re even dumber than the rest of my kids.

Kunzite:  Enough of your games ,woman!  I demand you bring Zoisite back to life!

[The room goes quiet as Beryl, Neffy, and Jadeite cover their mouths and prepare to run away to safety]

Metalia: [steel eyed]  You…demand..I bring Zoisite bring back to life?

Kunzite:  YES!  Bring him back to life and grant him eternal youth.

[The others are backing away]

Metalia:  [evil grin]  Very well.  If you put it that way…set him down on the couch.

[Kunzite places Zoi on the couch.  Metalia approaches.]

She reaches for his temple and draws the bullet out of his skull.  Then she raises her hands over him.]

[Dark energy washes over him, but nothing else seems to happen Then Metalia raises her arms to the sky and her eyes glow black and her skin glows blue and she crackles with magic.]

[Zoi’s body shimmers and vanishes]

Metalia:  I’ve done what you’ve asked, and I’ve cleaned up the mess you’ve made of the Blackmoons.  Now all of you.  Get out.

[Her children turn to leave]

Metalia:  Oh, and Kunzite?

[Kunzite pauses]

Metalia:  Enjoy being married to your corpse husband.

[Beryl staggers and looks like she is about to faint.]

[Kunzite waits until he is out of the room before he allows himself to smile.]


	36. Live at Five

[Scene:  The corridor at Hen Tie hospital.]

Beryl:  That did not go well.

Kunzite:  It went as well as I hoped…I knew that if mother didn’t bring him back as a reward, I could make her do it as a punishment.

Beryl:  He’s not back.  Don’t you realize that?  

[Kunzite keeps walking]

Beryl:  Didn’t you hear what she said?  “Enjoy being married to your corpse husband.”  Don’t you remember?  She said those same words to me once, a very long time ago.

Kunzite:  Yes.   I know.

Beryl:  You know and you’re happy about that? …Kunzite.  He’s gone. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you’ll get over him.

Kunzite:  The thought that I might get over him is the very worst part of this.

Beryl:  Kunzite, I don’t think you fully grasp this yet, but what she has done to you is a terrible curse.  To see him lying in front of you, and yet knowing he’s not there… having to look at him and feel all your happiness die inside of you…having to be the one that ultimately destroys him…

Kunzite:  He’s not Endymion. And I’m not you.

Beryl:  Kunzite, you’re not thinking of having… a relationship–

Kunzite:  Of course not.  Don’t be vulgar.

Beryl:  Then what are going to do?

Kunzite:  The only thing I can do.  I’ll wait.  I’ll wait to see what Mother has done with him.

[Scene:  5:00 PM, Aino residence.  Minako is sleeping fully dressed in her bed.   Minako’s mother comes into her room, stands at the foot of her bed, and shakes her head in disgust.]

Mrs. Aino:  MINNNNNNA!  Get out of that bed this minute!  Just because it’s the weekend doesn’t mean you get to sleep in!

Minako:  [jolted awake by her mother’s screaming] Geez Louise! I work and go to school!  I pay my share of the rent, so get off my back, you hag!

Mrs. Aino:  Go to the store and get me a pack of smokes!  

[Minako yawns and stretches and sits up.  She turns on the TV to help her wake up.  There is an image of inky black plumes of smoke billowing over a massive glowing structure completely consumed by flames. ]

TV:  … We have stunning footage of the massive inferno that has consumed Blackmoon Manor.  Tearing through the home of Hen Tie’s oldest and wealthiest family…

Minako:  Oh, my god!

[Reaches for her phone.]

[Scene:  Rei is mediating in a rock garden wearing a tank top and yoga pants.  Yuuichirou Kumada is gazing at her from behind a bamboo screen.  He ducks away as her phone rings.  

[She answers it.]

Rei:  Hello?

Minako:  Rei?

Rei:  What, bitch?  I’m meditating.

Minako:  Bitch, turn on channel Seven!

Rei:  Why?

Minako:  Just do it, you truckstop hooker!

[Rei heaves a sigh and stomps into her room and turns on the TV.]

TV:  …A state of emergency has been declared.  The fire broke out during a family reunion.  Dozens, if not hundreds of people are believed to be trapped inside…

[Rei’s eyes become as wide as saucers.  She picks up her phone and dials]

[Scene: Mamoru’s apartment. Mamoru is studying an MCAT study guide and taking notes in a black notebook.  His phone rings.]

Mamoru:  Mamoru Chiba.

Rei:  Oh, my god!  Turn on Channel Seven.

Mamoru:  What’s wrong?

Rei: Blackmoon Manor is burning up! With everyone in it!

[Mamoru turns on the TV]

TV:  …The devastation is beyond belief.  The building is simply melting away.  Fire crews called in from neighboring cities to fight the blaze.  Some from as far away as Oregon…

[Mamoru reaches for his phone and dials]

[Scene: The Crown Center Café.  Usagi is scraping icecream from the bottom of a parfait glass.]

Motoki:  [smiles at her] You WERE hungry!

Usagi:  Ummm….That was good.  Can you get me another Strawberry-Kiwi parfait?

Motoki:  Sure thing.

Usagi:  [winks] Is there any chance you could sneak me an extra cookie wafer?

Motoki:  I’ll see what I can do.

[Usagi watches American Idol on the café flatscreen.  Motoki brings over a parfait studded with about a half dozen cookie wafers.]

Motoki:  I’m afraid I went a little crazy with the cookie wafers.

Usagi:  Oh, Motoki, you’re the best!

[As Motoki walks away, his cell phone rings]

Motoki:  Crown Center, this is Motoki.

Mamoru:  Are you in front of a TV?

Motoki:  No.  I’m at work.

Mamoru:  You need to find a TV and turn on Channel Seven.  

Motoki:  Why?  What’s going on?  

Mamoru:  Blackmoon Manor is on fire.

[Motoki picks up the cafe’s remote and switches to Channel Seven]

Usagi:  Hey! I was watching that!

[She falls silent as she realizes what is happening.]

[Motoki kneels beside her with his hand on her shoulder and they watch together.

TV: …Still not safe for rescuers to enter the structure…This eyewitness video shows the sole survivor being carried out of the inferno….  

Usagi:  Oh, my god!  Is that Zoi?

Motoki: [grave] I sure hope not.

Usagi:  Oh! It can’t be.  What would Zoi be doing at Blackmoon manor?

TV:  …The young man, believed to be in his late teens or early twenties, was found unresponsive. Advanced life support methods were used and rescuers stabilized his breathing in preparation to transport him to Hen Tie Hospital…  

[In the background they can see Zoi on a gurney wearing an oxygen mask.  Zoi’s eyes are wide open.  A paramedic is poking his fingers in the direction of Zoi’s eyes and when Zoi doesn’t blink, he turns to his colleagues and shakes his head sadly.

[Usagi and Motoki gasp in fear]

Usagi:  He’s going to be ok, isn’t he?

Motoki:  I…hope so.

TV:  …  No word yet on his prognosis…

[Usagi digs through her purse for her phone and dials.]

[Scene:  The Osa-P jewelry shop. On the floor is the ruins of Naru’s cellphone.]

*You’ve reached the voicemail of –*

[Usagi hangs up and dials again]

[Scene:  The Umino residence.]

Umino:  Umino residence, Gurio speaking.

Usagi:  Hey, Umino.  Do you know where Naru is?

Umino:  Can’t say that I do.

Usagi: Turn on Channel Seven.

[Umino turns on channel seven]

TV:   ….There has been no comment from Judge Willem Blackmoon’s office in the capitol, but inside sources claim he was attending the reunion with the rest of his family.  There are also rumors that due to the aggressive nature of the blaze, it might have been set deliberately, or have been the result of illegal fireworks stored improperly inside the compound. Chief Midori, any word on the cause of the blaze?

Chief Midori: …

TV: Chief Midori?

Chief Midori: ….

[All of Zoi’s friends dive for their phones and start dialing each other frantically]

[Scene:  The O’Sama household.  Kunzite switches off the TV]

Beryl:  What now?

Kunzite:  [Completely devoid of emotion] Now I go back to the hospital.


	37. The Song of Orpheus

[Scene:  Hen Tie Hospital.  Chief Midori is at his son’s bedside.  Zoi is in the acute care unit, on life support.]

[Kunzite appears in a dark flash.  He walks up to Zoi’s body and looks at the numbers on the digital display of his vitals.  Chief Midori treats his appearance with anger.]

Chienf Midori:  You told me you would save him!

Kunzite:  I will save him.

[If anything Chief Midori has gotten angrier]

Chief Midori:  I watched them pull my only child’s body from a burning building and you were nowhere to be found! He didn’t have a heartbeat when they found him!  They’ve put him in a medically induced coma so they can lower his body temperature, because they don’t know how long it had been since he stopped breathing!

[Kunzite lifts one of Zoi’s eyelids.  He places his hand on his forehead as if trying to see if he has a fever. Then taps at the pressure points at his wrists, trying without success to invoke a reflex]

Chief Midori:  They’ve scheduled a CT-Scan of his brain! They say this is perfect routine in cases like this!  They forget I’m a cop!  I know it’s routine, whenever there’s a strong possibility of brain damage!

Kunzite:  That’s not something you need to worry about.

Chief Midori:  No, that’s not something YOU need to worry about!  I’m his father!  You’re just his boyfriend.  Everyone will understand when you take off and find someone else!

[Kunzite gives him a murderous look]

Kunzite:  I need to leave.

Chief Midori:  Where are you going!

Kunzite:  I need to create the spell to bring your son back  I’ve never attempted anything of this nature before, so it may be hours or even days before I return.  In the meantime, I’ll need you to guard him with your life.

[Kunzite gives Chief Midori a stern look]

Kunzite:  Whatever you do, don’t let them cremate him.

Chief Midori: [Shaken] Why would they want to cremate my son?

Kunzite:  When the results from the CT-Scan come back the doctors are going to say some very frightening things. They are going to tell you that your son is braindead. That there is no hope. That there is zero chance he will ever wake up again, much less lead a normal life.  They will try to convince you that he wouldn’t want to go on like this, and the important thing to think about right now is his dignity.

Chief Midori:  Why would they want to tell me those things?

Kunzite:  Because it’s the truth.

[Chief Midori sinks into a chair, horrorstruck as Kunzite’s words sink in]

Kunzite: Do whatever you feel you must but don’t let them cremate him.  Keep him on life support for as long as you can, just so I know where to find him.  If they cremate him, it will be a lot harder for me to bring him back.

Chief Midori:  You…you could bring him back… even if he is cremated?

[Chief Midori’s expression is filled with hopeful desperation, Kunzite’s is not]

Kunzite:  Let’s not find out.

[In a dark flash, Kunzite is gone]

[Scene:  The O’Sama mansion.  Kunzite’s siblings are lounging around in the study.  Neffy and Jeddy are play darts while Beryl is pursuing a European fashion magazine.  

[Kunzite walks over to the bookshelf that holds the books on necromancy.]

[Jadeite shouts in protest as Kunzite grabs books off the shelf and starts throwing them on the floor]

[Kunzite pays no attention to Jadeite’s cries and scan other shelves for books on mysticism, voodoo, black magic, soul transference, healing, embalming, golem and youma creation, etc…  and tosses those to the floor as well.  Once he is done, the books float off the floor and form a neat pile on the desk.]

[Kunzite walks over to the desk, sits down, and starts studying an ancient Egyptian book on Necromancy.]

[Jeddy walks over with his arms crossed and a stern expression on his face.]

Jeddy:  What do you think you’re doing?  Those books  are thousands of years old!  They are irreplaceable! You can’t just—

[Jeddy screeches as Kunzite tears a page out of the book]

[Kunzite ignores him and tears out a few more pages before closing the book and tearing pages out of another.  Jeddy flees in tears as Kunzite desecrates a few more]

[After a while, curiosity gets the best of Neffy, so he drifts over to see what Kunzite is doing.]

[Neffy tries to pick up the stack of pages Kunzite has ripped out, but Kunzite slaps his hand down over them.  Undeterred, Neffy leafs through the pages anyway and burst into laughter.]

Neffy:  Oh, that is SO wrong!

Jeddy:  What is?

Neffy:  I see what he’s doing.  He’s trying to cheat death.

Beryl:  Yes, we know.  He’s trying to heal the damage to Zoi’s brain and bring him back to life.  [glances up from her magazine]  Kunzite, there is no spell in those books that reverses brain damage.  I’ve already looked a thousand times.

Neffy:  No, that’s not what he’s doing at all.  He’s doing just the opposite.  He’s going to turn Zoi into a lich!

Beryl:  [looks up from her fashion magazine] He’s what?

Neffy:  He’s studying spells to create not one, but two completely different types of undead!  He’s going to summon Zoi’s ghost from the afterworld, then then force it to haunt his own body.

[Neffy is laughing so hard he has to catch his breath] 

Jeddy:  Why is it funny?

Neffy:  It’s funny because it’s probably going to work!

Kunzite:  [without looking away from his research]  Of course it’s going to work.

[Jeddy and Beryl rush over to examine Kunzite’s research]

Neffy:  Normally…[has to catch his breath] …normally…the biggest problem would be that Zoi’s body will contain to rot and putrefy, even after Kunzite has reanimated it…except…except… except he tricked Mother into making it incorruptible! [cracking up] Oh you sneaky bastard!  No wonder you were so keen to bust her chops like that.  She is going to be FURIOUS when she realizes what she’s done, but there not a damn thing she can do about it without making herself look stupid.

[Neffy holds out his hand to Kunzite and waits until he shakes it]

Neffy:  My hat is off to you, sir. It is no wonder you are First Among Kings. This is some heavy-duty diabolical shit right here.

 


	38. An Unexpected Visitor

[Scene:  The O’Sama study.  Beryl looks up from Kunzite’s research pages]

Beryl:  There’s a problem.

Jeddy:  What is it?

Beryl:  In order for soul transference to work, the subject must still be alive, or else the soul needs to be stored in a transferable medium, like a soul jar.

Neffy: [pointing to one of the pages] He’s going to summon his spirit from the afterworld.

Beryl:  But that almost never works.  The soul has to be receptive to communication, and he has to be in a plane where he can be contacted. And on top of it all, he has to want to come back.

Kunzite:  It will work.

Jeddy:  How do you know?

Kunzite:  Because Zoisite and I did a soul binding the day we were married.  

Neffy:  You did a soul binding with a fifteen year old?

Jeddy:  What’s wrong with doing a soulbinding on a fifteen year old?

Neffy:  Nothing.  If you don’t mind listening to hip-hop for the rest of eternity.

Beryl:  I still don’t think it will work.

Neffy: That sounds like sour grapes to me.

Kunzite:  Our souls are bound. I will find him.  And when I do, I will open a portal between the planes and serve as a conduit to draw him back into the realms of the living.

Beryl:  If it were that simple we’d have people bringing back their dead long before this.  Think about it.  What if he’s in heaven, and he’s happier where he is now?

Neffy:  Or more likely, what if he’s in Hell, and he’s trapped under Tanzanite?

Kunzite:  [without emotion] Leave. All of you.  I need to study.

Neffy: [ushering the others out] Go on.  Let the man work. I want to see him pull this off.

[…two days later…]

[Kunite is walking through the corridor of the hospital with his pages in a portfolio.  As he nears Zoi’s room, he sees a slender figure leaving Zoi’s room in a long black wool coat and black boots, walking in the other direction to a vending machine. His breath catches when he notices the unmistakable waist-long gold hair.]

Kunzite:  Zoisite?

[Kunzite’s pulse quickens as the figure stops abruptly at the mention of his name.]

[Kunzite rushes over, smiling like a fool.  He stops smiling when the figure turns around and he sees it’s actually a middle-aged woman.]

[His disappointment is physically painful]

Kunzite:  My apologies.  I mistook you for someone else.

Woman:  You must be Kunzite.

[Kunzite just stares at her]

Woman:  I’m Renee Cappelli.

[She frowns when Kunzite still doesn’t react.]

Renee:  [sighs]  Zoi’s mother?

Kunzite:  Oh.

Renee:  [frown deeps into a scowl] Don’t tell me he’s never mentioned me.

Kunzite:  Oh, course he has.  I’ve had a lot on my mind lately.

[She’s a classic beauty, but Kunzite strongly disagrees with Zoi’s claim that his mother is prettier than he is.  Especially since a lot of her look is foundation and makeup.]

Renee:  He’s mentioned you…of course he never mentioned how manly you are.  [looks him over with a strong hint of motherly disapproval]  I didn’t expect my son to be dating anyone quite so tall.

[A well-dressed woman passes them in the hall]

Renee:  Telluuuu!

Tellu:  Renee? Renee Midori!  Darling! When did you come back?

Renee:  [To Kunzite]  Excuse me.  [Rushes over to her friend and they hug and exchange cheek kisses]  It’s Renee Cappelli now.  [Shows off her engagement ring]

Tellu:  You look great!

Renee:  And so do you!  You haven’t aged a day!  

Tellu:  [makes a pitying face] I heard about your son. I’m so sorry.  How are you holding up?

Renee:  I’m doing as well as I can under the circumstances.  He’ll be ok. He doesn’t look it, but he’s a tough little kid.  [their voices fade as they walk away from Kunzite]  Tell me, who does your botox?

Tellu:  Oh, I don’t do botox.

Renee:  Oh, please, your forehead is as smooth as a ping-pong ball. [over her shoulder at Kunzite] Excuse us. [They walk off arm in arm.]

[Kunzite goes into Zoi’s room, looking over his shoulder]

[Zoi is still on life support.  There is a suitcase, a pillow and blanket on a sofa near the bed and the far side of the room is filled with flowers, mylar balloons, and stuffed animals.  Chief Midori is sitting on a chair.  He’s mellowed out and seems relieved to see Kunzite. ]

Chief Midori:  I assume you’ve met my ex?

Kunzite:  She’s stepped out for some botox.

Chief Midori:  Don’t think too harshly of her.  It takes a while for things like this to sink in. It’s for the best, really.  When it does hit her, she’s going to completely fall apart.

[Kunzite nods and erases the nurse’s info from the room’s whiteboard.  He looks at his pages then starts writing an integral equation in tiny letters.]

Chief Midori:  Is that part of the spell to heal my son?

Kunzite:  [nods] I’m going to bring him back tonight around midnight.

Chief Midori:  [sees the demonic pictures printed on pages that look suspiciously like human skin] I assume I shouldn’t be here for that?

Kunzite:  Correct. I will be channeling vast amounts of dark energy. I’d evacuate the other patients from this wing if I could, but it can’t be helped.

Chief Midori:  That could be a problem.  Renee has taken to sleeping at her son’s bedside.  She refuses to stay at a hotel and I certainly am not going to convince her to come home with me.

[Dr. Mizuno, a tiny woman in a lab coat, peeks her head in]

Dr. Mizuno:  Mr. Midori, I need to have a word with you. [Looks at Kunzite] In private.

Chief Midori:  He can stay.

Dr. Mizuno:  I’m sorry, but he can’t. Immediate family members only.

Chief Midori:  It’s ok.  He’s my other son.

[Kunzite is a bit taken aback, even more taken aback that Dr. Mizuno allows it, even though she knows it’s not true]

Dr. Mizuno:  Is your wife available?

Chief Midori:  She’s stepped out for a minute.

Renee:  [slips into the room] No I’m back.  I was just getting caught up with one of my girlfriends. [looks at the start of Kunzite’s equation]  Could you please not do that here?  I have to stay here, and that’s annoying.

Dr. Mizuno:  We’ll be getting the results of your son’s CT-Scan tomorrow afternoon.  In the meanwhile I have set up an appointment with a grief counselor.  I know how popular your son is so I think you might want to ask Zoi’s school friends if they’d like to attend that as well.

Renee:  [chuckles nervously]  What?  A grief counselor?  Isn’t that a bit premature?  My son is going to be fine.

Dr. Mizuno:  Mrs. Midori—

Renee: Cappelli.

Dr. Mizuno:  Mrs. Cappelli, I don’t know how to tell you this…your son doesn’t show any sign of neurological function   He has no reflexes.  He doesn’t respond to any stimulus—

Renee:  Of course not.  You put him in a coma.

Dr. Mizuno:  Strictly as a matter of procedure.  There was never any hope.

Renee:  You don’t know that. I read a story just the other day about a boy who woke up from a coma ten years later and he was perfectly fine.

Dr. Mizuno:  That’s not what is going to happen here.  

Renee:  What do you mean?  

Dr. Mizuno: Tomorrow we are going to get back the results of his CT-scan.  Your son did not have a living will or an advanced directive, so you and your husband are going to be asked to make some very difficult decisions on his behalf.

Renee:  Are you asking for my permission to kill my son?  

Dr. Mizuno:  No, Mrs. Cappelli.  I’m telling you your son is already dead.

[Renee’s face goes very white and Chief Midori catches her before she falls.

 


	39. Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here

[Scene:  Zoi’s hospital room.  Zoi’s mother is becoming completely hysterical]

Renee:  [Shoves Chief Midori]  Get away from me!  This is all your fault! None of this would have happened if I hadn’t sent him back to this damned place! He didn’t want to come here! I had to make him go live with you! I sent him to this terrible place to die!

Dr. Mizuno:  Mrs. Cappelli, am I going to have to admit you? Are you going to need to be sedated and given a bed?

Renee:  [wiping her tears with shaking hands] Yes!  I think that would be an excellent idea!

[Dr. Mizuno calls for a pair of nurses’ assistants to help with having her admitted.  Chief Midori follows her out.]

[Kunzite shakes his head sadly, as if to say “humans” and goes back to transcribing his equation.]

[Chief Midori returns a few minutes later.]

Chief Midori: Bad news. Renee absolutely refuses to leave Hen Tie without her son.  She doesn’t want him buried here.  

[Kunzite just nods and continues writing]

Chief Midori: She’s moving to Italy, and she insists she’s bringing Zoi with her.  That means she’ll need for him to be cremated.

[Kunzite nods again, but this time he pauses.]

Chief Midori:  I’ll fight it any way I can, but when Renee gets worked up about something she can wear down a mountain.

Kunzite:  After midnight it won’t matter.

Chief Midori:  You will call me as soon as you have some good news for me, won’t you?

Kunzite:  I’ll have him call you himself.  

[Chief Midori leaves and Kunzite goes back to his equation.]

[Later at Midnight:   Kunzite opens a duffle bag to reveal a variety of items including a canister of salt and the dagger used in his wedding.  He picks up a container of salt and pours it out to form a circle in the middle of the floor. Jeddy and Neffy appear]

Neffy:  Is it showtime yet?

Kunzite:  Only if you vow to remain silent and stay out of my way.

Neffy:  Oh, we are about to witness history in the making. We wouldn’t dream of doing anything that might screw it up.

Kunzite:  And Beryl?

Jeddy:  She can’t bear to watch.

Kunzite:  Because she’s afraid I’ll fail, or because she’s afraid I’ll succeed?

Neffy:  A little of both, I think.

Jeddy: [rubs his hands together]  This is so exciting.  The first full resurrection performed by a Shitennou.

Neffy:  Full pseudo-resurrection.

Jeddy:  Hush.

[They take their seats and Kunzite steps into the circle of salt.  He slices his palm with the dagger and holds his hand upward.  He levitates a few inches from the floor and starts chanting in a long forgotten language as his eyes glow white and a strong windstorm seems to form, but only within the confines of the salt circle.]

[Neffy and Jeddy find themselves holding their breath as the lights in the room dim, making the formula on the whiteboard glow with an eerie phosphorescence.  As Kunzite chants a vortex seems to open below his feet and an otherworldly howling rises as shadows flit around him.]  

[The room continues to dim, and the symbols start to vanish from the board until the only illumination is the unholy glow of Kunzite’s eyes and hair.  Although the room’s florescent tubes provides no measurable quantity of light, they are hissing and sending forth sparks.] 

[Kunzite chanting quickens and the shadows multiply and move faster…but then Kunzite seems to waver.  His chanting becomes slower and less certain, and his outstretched hand dips as if he is becoming too weary to hold up his arm any more.]

[When Kunzite finishes his voice is barely a whisper.  As the lights come back on, his hand drops and he casts a despairing look at Zoi. He grabs the duffle bag and flings it across the room before he sinks to the floor and buries his face in his hands.]

[For a full minute Neffy and Jeddy just sit there on the edge of their seats in silence]

Jeddy:  Did it work?

[Neffy smacks him in the back of the head.]

[Kunzite just sits there. He’s closer to tears than either of the other Shitennou have ever seen him.  After a while Neffy comes over and places his hand on his shoulder in rare compassion]

Neffy:  What happened?

Kunzite:  Nothing…  absolutely nothing… it was just as Beryl said… he couldn’t come back to me…or else he chose not to.

Neffy:  Maybe he’s behind some barrier, or just out of your reach. You just need to amplify the spell and then try again.

Kunzite: [rises to his feet, wild eyed] No…it should have worked…our souls were bound together…he should have been drawn like a moth to a flame…

Neffy:  So what you’re saying is you’re just going to give up?

Kunzite:  [numb but determined] No, of course not.  I’ll just need to try something else.

Jeddy: What else is there to try?

Kunzite:  Time travel. I need to perfect time travel.

Neffy:  Whoa! Whoa!  No way! I was cool when you were just some crazy guy trying to bring back his dead boyfriend, but now you’re fucking with the fabric of the universe!

Kunzite:  I’m going to go back in time and make sure none of this happens to him.

Jeddy:  How?

Kunzite: I’ll go back to when he was a newborn and steal him from his bassinet.

Neffy: [laughs nervously] Now you are literally robbing the cradle…[puts his hand on Kunzite’s shoulder again] Look, this was a good idea.  But you can’t expect something this complicated to succeed on the first try.  Just get some rest.  Do some more calculations…And then we can do a little research and try this again later.

[All three turn as the door blasts open]

[Metallia appears in full Naga fury]

Metallia:  KUNZZZZZITE!!!

[Neffy and Jeddy back away, clutching each other in terror]

Metallia: [floats toward Kunzite] I SSSSAID HE’SSSS NOT TO BE RRRRESSSURRRECCTED!!!!  NEVERRRRR IN ALL MY EXISSSSTENCE HAVE I WITNESSSSSSED SUCH DISSSSSOBEDIENCCCCCE!!!!

Neffy:  uh…we had nothing to do with this.

Jeddy:  yeah, bye Kunzite…you traitor.

[They vanish, leaving Kunzite to face their mother’s wrath alone.]

 


	40. Kunzite Desdichado

[Scene:  Zoi’s hospital room.  Kunzite drops to one knee and kneels before his mother so low his head almost touches the floor, then he stares at his mother with determination in his eyes.]

Kunzite:  Bring him back.

Metalia:  You perssssisssst in thissss inssssuborrrrdination? He issss lost to you! Can’t you underrrrssssstand that?

Kunzite:  No.

Metalia:  NO?

Kunzite:  Never.

Metalia:  You continue to defy me?

Kunzite:  As long as there is life in my body, I will try to bring him back.

[For a second Metalia just shrieks in outrage.  Then she holds out one claw and plunges it into Kunzite’s chest.  When she draws it out, she is holding an object that looks like a pink gemstone in her fist.  With her other hand she sends dark energy to wash over him.]

[All at once she looks like Mary Worth in a lab coat.]

Metalia:  I told you I could unmake you, but you refused to listen! As of this moment, you are no longer my son!  Since you love these pathetic human creatures so much, you are now one of them!

[She puts the stone in the pocket of her labcoat and turns to walk away but reconsiders and zaps him with dark energy.]

Metalia:  A human without the capacity for suicide or selfharm, so don’t even think of taking the coward’s way out!

[She leaves]

[Kunzite tries to summon his powers and finds he cannot.  He is devastated.  Not because he has been turned into a human, but because as a human, he has no way of helping Zoi, even if his father does manage to prevent him from being cremated.]

[He walks out to the parking lot to look for his Maserati.  It is nowhere to be seen.  He goes to the ATM in the hospital’s lobby and inserts his debit card.  After several attempts his PIN is still unrecognized. If his debit card won’t work he knows his credit cards won’t either. He opens his wallet and sees he’s got a little less than $300 in cash.  Not counting the foreign currencies for his spur of the moment dates with Zoi. They won’t be going on those, given in their current circumstances, but in a pinch, he can convert those bills into dollars at a bank.]

[He returns to Zoi’s room and pulls a chair up to Zoi’s bed and rests his hands and face upon Zoi’s chest, taking comfort in the rhythm of heartbeat, the steady rise and fall of his breathing, even though he knows it’s just an automated response of a body that no longer houses a mind or a soul.]

Kunzite:  I will find you, Zoisite.  Even if it takes forever.  We will be together again.

[Kunzite is still sitting like that when Chief Midori returns shortly before dawn.]

Chief Midori:  No luck?

Kunzite:  [Sits up and looks at Chief Midori with a broken expression] I won’t be able to bring him back.

Chief Midori:  I assumed as much when I didn’t get a phonecall.

Kunzite:  I’m sorry.

Chief Midori:  To be perfectly honest, I never really dared to get my hopes up.

Kunzite:  I wish he’d never met me.

Chief Midori:  I’m not going to lie. You weren’t my first choice for my son. And knowing what I know now, you definitely aren’t my first choice. But I also know that nobody could love him any more than you do.  In the short time you were together, he knew more happiness than most people do in a lifetime.

[Kunzite sits in gloomy silence.  Then a sobering thought occurs to him.  He feels equal measures of dread and solace as he realizes his life is in danger, and by staying in the room, he’s putting Zoi’s father’s life in danger as well.]

Kunzite: I need to leave.

Chief Midori:  Where are you going?

Kunzite:  Not far.  To the employee breakroom. I need to get some coffee.  If one of my brothers comes in here, tell him I went into the breakroom to get some coffee.

[Kunzite rises and leaves the room before Chief Midori can ask any more questions.]

[One of the advantages of being the adopted son of the town’s chief surgeon is that he has full access to the break room.  He pours himself a cup of coffee, and sits with his back to the door and waits.]

Jeddy:  Kunzite?

Kunzite:  Et tu, Jadeite?  

[Kunzite turns his chair around and sees Jeddy standing near the door holding a large Krispy Kreme box. He holds it out in Kunzite’s direction, but he’s shaking a little.]

Jeddy:  I brought you some doughnuts.

Kunzite:  That didn’t take long.

Jeddy:  [frowns nervously] What didn’t take long?

Kunzite:  [smirks] I was expecting Nephrite, but I should have known better.  It’s always the little guy who has something to prove.

Jeddy:  I’m not little.

Kunzite:  You’re little on the inside.

[Normally Jeddy would be offended by such a statement, but now he just looks frightened.]

Kunzite:  [sips his coffee and lowers his gaze] Are you afraid of me, Jadeite?  You shouldn’t be.  I’ve lost my powers, so I’m no match for you now.  But of course you already knew that.  Or else you wouldn’t be here.

Jeddy: [breaks into a sweat] What are you talking about?

Kunzite:  You came in here to kill me.

Jeddy:  What makes you say that?

Kunzite:  There was a prophesy.

Jeddy:  A prophesy?

Kunzite:  [nods] Everything has been foretold. I just wasn’t paying enough attention at the time.  Mainly because it came from Nephrite and he’s wrong more often than he’s right: “The lamb will slaughtered, the mighty will fall, hate conquers love, brothers will kill brothers, so much blood will be spilled it will form a river….”  It has all come to pass… except for the part about brothers killing brothers.

Jeddy:  [winces]  I still don’t know what you’re talking about.

Kunzite:  I don’t know what I’m talking about either.  All I know is whatever you have in that box doesn’t smell like doughnuts.

Jeddy:  [chuckles nervously] You’re crazy. There is nothing in this box but doughnuts.  See?

[Jeddy opens the box and pulls out a crossbow and aims it right at Kunzite.]

[Kunzite takes a sip of his coffee]

Kunzite: A crossbow. Very nice.  Quiet enough to use in a hospital, but you don’t have to get very close to your target.

[Jeddy just stands there shaking]

Kunzite:  Go on.  What are you waiting for?  

[Jeddy doesn’t move]

Kunzite: [stands and spreads his arms out at his sides]  Don’t you want to go down in Dark Kingdom history as the Shitennou that put an end to Kunzite O’Sama?

[Jeddy swallows hard]

Kunzite:  Would this be easier if I turned around and faced the other direction?

Jeddy:  Yes, please.

Kunzite:  Then you’ll go down in Dark Kingdom history as the Shitennou who shot Kunzite O’Sama in the back while he was drinking a cup of coffee.

[The crossbow wavers in Jeddy’s hand]

Kunzite:  Never mind. Forget what I just said.  I shouldn’t be discouraging you.  You’re doing me a kindness, actually.

[Kunzite turns around and picks up his cup of coffee and takes another sip.]

Kunzite:  He was only a part of my life for the blink of an eye. But that blink of an eye has rendered the whole rest of my existence completely unbearable.

[Kunzite waits, but Jeddy still doesn’t act]

Kunzite: For thousands of years I’ve been alone.  Then I found him.  You must have seen the changes in me, you’ve known me for so long.  Do you really want to take a chance of looking into my eyes and seeing me regain my powers, and my status of First Among Kings, now that I’ve lost him?

[Kunzite sets the cup down again.  Right before he hears the twang of the crossbow firing. There is a shower of dust as the bolt embeds itself in the ceiling.  Kunzite looks up and wonders how even Jeddy could miss by that much at such close range.]

[He turns around and sees Neffy pushing Jeddy’s wrist and grinning at Kunzite like a Cheshire cat.]

Neffy:  [chuckling]  Oh, no, you arrogant bastard! I’ve waited far too long to see you laid low to let this fool end my fun this quickly.

[Neffy grabs the crossbow from Jeddy and tosses it to the ground]

Neffy:  [feints at Jeddy] Go on.  Get out of here, you fool.

[Jeddy teleports away]

Neffy:  [to Kunzite] Consider this prophesy averted. From now on, you’re under MY protection, Kunzite.  You’re going to live a long, full life. [Grins] A life full of suffering, that is.  I’m going to make sure of that.

[Neffy laughs like a fiend as he teleports away.]

[Kunzite sighs, sets down his coffee cup, and returns to Zoi’s room]


	41. Metalia Repents

[Scene:  Zoi’s hospital room.  Zoi’s father is sleeping in a chair.  His mother has returned and is sleeping on the sofa.  Kunzite is sitting in a chair looking at Zoi.]

[Outside the window is a warm haze breaking through the clouds.  It’s almost sunny.  Kunzite doesn’t like the sun, but in this instance, it’s oddly comforting to him.]

[There is a flutter and a sparrow flies in from the hallway and lands on Zoi’s pillow.]

[Kunzite smiles fondly as the sparrow hops onto Zoi’s brow and cocks its head to look at him]

[His smile vanishes as it pecks at the corner of Zoi’s eyelid.]

Kunzite:  Hey!  Get out of here!

[He lunges and grabs the bird in his fist. Then carries it to the window and releases it outside.]

Metalia:  You should have killed it.

[Kunzite turns to see his mother standing in her lab coat.]

Metalia:  The Kunzite I knew would have squeezed it until its bones cracked.

Kunzite:  [grins with honest affection] Wasn’t that my replacement? Weren’t you going to make him first among kings?

Metalia:  Bah. I’ve given up on that. Some animals are too wild to be kept in cages [give Kunzite a pointed look] just as some beasts are too domesticated to be released into the wild.

[She looks at Zoi’s mother who is stirring in her sleep.]

Metalia:  In a few minutes she will meet with a woman who will put her in the right frame of mind to sign his final paperwork.  My heart goes out to her.

Kunzite: Does it, Your Grace?  Really?  

Metalia: [smiles coldly at him] Does that surprise you? I am a mother, first and foremost. There can be nothing heartbreaking than the prospect a child’s untimely death. [Her voice takes on an evil tone]  Even when her child is such a stubborn and thankless lout.

Kunzite:  Zoisite is neither stubborn, nor a thankless lout.

Metalia:  I wasn’t talking about Zoisite.

[Kunzite gives her a surprised look]

Metalia: And he’s far more stubborn than you realize. But enough about him. I came to apologize.

Kunzite:  [even more surprised] Oh?

Metalia:  Stripping you of my favor was a mistake.  A near fatal one, or so I have been informed.  

[Despite her words, Metalia’s voice is as cold as always.]

Metalia: As my eldest, I hold you to a higher standard. You’ve served me faultlessly, so I’ve come to expect nothing less. I’m starting to see I was a bit unjust.

Kunzite:  [smirks fondly] In other words, in my short absence, you’ve come to realize how much I do for you, and how much you take me for granted.  Now that your flock is without its sheep dog, and you have to deal with them directly, you want everything to go back to the way it was when everything was easier.

Metalia:  Yes.  It’s mostly that.

Kunzite: I thought so.

Metalia:  I did not give your brothers permission to attack you.

Kunzite:   You disowned me. They no longer need your permission.  

Metalia:  True, but it was only meant to be temporary. Until you learned your lesson, just as Beryl learned her lesson.

[Kunzite snorts in hurt amusement as if a cruel prank had gone awry.]

Metalia:  When it comes to these matters, you lack Beryl’s capacity for learning, don’t you?

Kunzite:  I suppose I do.

[Metalia turns her head to regard Zoi]

Metalia:  In a few minutes we will be freeing up that bed for someone else. Are you ready to say your final goodbyes to him?

Kunzite:  No.

Metalia:  I can help you.

[Metalia draws the pink gemstone from her pocket]

Metalia:  If I promise to take you back, will you allow me to purge your memories of him from your mind completely?

Kunzite: Of course not.

[The cold smile vanishes. Metalia is becoming annoyed]

Metalia: So, out of sheer stubbornness, you are willing to give up everything.  Just to hold onto the torment you’ve inflicting upon yourself?

Kunzite:  He is everything to me. If I don’t hold on to what little I have left of him, a part of me will always know I sold myself too cheaply.

Metalia:  So he’s more important to you than I am?

Kunzite:  [heaves a profound sigh] No, mother.  Nothing is more important than you are.  But I can’t serve you properly while I’m pining for him. It saddens me that, even after all these years, you don’t know me well enough to understand that.

Metalia:  You don’t need him.  You need this.

[Metalia holds out the pink stone.]

Kunzite:  I don’t want that anymore.

Metalia:  It doesn’t matter what you want. What matters is what I want.

Kunzite: Then bring him back to life so he can serve me as a slave.  You owe me that much, at the very least.

[Metalia looks dangerously annoyed. She speaks slowly as if talking to an imbecile]

Metalia:  It’s too late for that.  Even if I wanted to, and I don’t, there are some things that are simply impossible. I can’t just raise up someone several days’ departed. Not unless I’ve made preparations beforehand.  That sort of thing needed to be set into motion days ago. Do you even hear what I’m saying?  

[Kunzite nods but his breath catches as he does.]

Metalia:  Good. Because I’m getting really tired of having to repeat myself to you all the time.

[kunzite looks away in sorrow]

[Metalia hesitates]

Metalia:  You must really hate me now.

Kunzite: I could never hate you, Mother.    

[Metalia reaches out and forces him into a hug.  She reaches into his chest and deposits the stone]

[Kunzite raises his hand and a globe of dark energy appears.  He waves it away with an evil smirk.]

Kunzite:  You do realize I’m just going to spend all my time and energy trying to revive him?

Metalia:  You won’t succeed.

Kunzite: I will eventually.

Metalia:  [shakes her head]  No you won’t.  That is one thing I am absolutely certain of.

[Metallia vanishes]

[Kunzite walks out of the hospital to find his Maserati in the spot where he last left it.  He goes to the ATM at takes out a few twenties, just to prove to himself he can.]

[He walks back to Zoi’s room in high spirits.  Despite his mother’s words, he’s optimistic and has a new lease on life.]  

[Before he can open the door, Minako comes running down the hall and tugs him by his arm.]

Minako:  There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.  The meeting with the grief counselor has already started.  I told them if anyone needs closure, it’s you.

[Kunzite has no interest in seeking closure.  But now that he has his powers back, he intends to keep Zoi’s parents from signing anything that might take him off life support.]

 


	42. Say What?

[Scene:  Hen Tie Hospital.  Minako and Kunzite slip into a room filled with Zoi’s family and friends. Zoi’s mother is on a couch and being held by the counselor and sobbing dramatically with a box of Kleenex on her lap.]

Renee:  I know it’s not him, it’s just a shell.  But that just means I never get to say goodbye to him.

Counselor:  You don’t know that.  You don’t know he’s not watching over you.  

Renee:  I think he is.  I can feel him looking down at me from Heaven, telling me not to be sad. But this is so hard for me.

[Kunzite and Minako take seats close to the door.  Kunzite notices almost all of Zoi’s friends from school are there.  But more importantly, there is a folder full of papers with a pen across it, but nothing looks like it has been signed.  Which is good because the form on top deals with organ donation.]

Counselor:  You must be the boyfriend.  We are exchanging special memories.  Is there anything you’d like to share with us?

Kunzite: [stern] No, I don’t think so.

[Kunzite doesn’t consider his special memories of Zoi to be any of their business.]

[The room goes quiet]

Usagi:  That’s so sad. Poor Kunzite. He let Zoi into his little world, and now his heart is so broken, he’s afraid to let anyone else in.

[Usagi wails and several of the people in the room make sounds of sympathy and Minako rubs his arm.  Kunzite doesn’t care.  As long as nobody picks up that pen and signs anything.]

[Dr. Mizuno rushes in. She is hyperventilating and looks absolutely terrified.]

Dr. Mizuno: Stop.  You need to stop.

Counselor:  Whatever it is, it needs to wait.

Dr. Mizuno: No.  [On the edge of hysteria] We just got the results from Zoi’s CT-Scans.

Mamoru:  What’s wrong?

Dr, Mizuno:  Nothing! Absolutely nothing! They came back perfectly normal!

[For a moment nobody can comprehend what she’s said.  Her words seem positive, but she’s acting like half of the building has collapsed.]

Chief Midori:  Are you saying my son is not dead?  That he doesn’t have brain damage?

Dr. Mizuno:  [nods her head] That’s correct.  

Mamoru:  But you said he was unresponsive.  That he had no reflexes.

Dr. Mizuno:  I know.  I don’t understand how this is possible.   I’ve never seen anything like it.  All I can think is that he was suffering some temporary paralysis.

[There is an excited buzz as comprehension sets in. People gasp with relief start asking the same questions over and over.]

[Kunzite’s mind, on the other hand, is reeling.  Dr. Mizuno’s words might make sense if Zoi died of smoke inhalation, but Kunzite is the only one in the room who knows Zoi was actually killed by a bullet to the head.]

[He held his dead body.  He saw the damage first hand. His senses are better than a humans, he knows Zoi has been dead. There is no way Zoi could have recovered from that. Not without divine intervention.  Maybe not even then.]

Naru:  So he’s going to be ok?

Dr. Mizuno:  [nods] Dr. Metalia has revived him and is taking him off life support now.  I saw him only briefly, but he seems to be conscious and aware of his surroundings.]

[Kunzite still has no idea what is going on, or if his mother had a hand in it.]

[All he knows is that if she hasn’t, he doesn’t want her alone with Zoi.]  

[His first instinct is to run out the door, but he knows he can get to Zoi faster if he teleports, so it would be best to slip away unnoticed.  All he needs is a diversion.]

[Fortunately, Zoi’s mother seems more than willing to provide one]

Renee:  How dare you!  You told me my son was dead!  You told me there was no hope! Do you have any idea what you’ve put me through!

Dr. Mizuno:  I’m sorry.  I–

Renee:  You put him in a coma!  He was perfectly healthy and you put him in a coma!

Dr. Mizuno: We had to.  This could have easily–

Renee:  [turns on the grief counselor] And you!  You tried to trick me into signing an organ donor form!  If I signed it he’d probably be dead by now!   This hospital tried to murder my son, just so they could harvest his organs!

Dr. Mizuno :  Nobody was going to murder your son.  That’s why we waited for the results of the CT-Scan–

[Minako sees Kunzite’s inching away]

Minako: [rises to her feet] Look, you three aging slutbags can stand there and argue until you’re even further past your best-by dates, but we’re going to go check it out.

[Kunzite and Minako go running out the door, with the rest racing out after them]

[When they get to Zoi’s room, Metalia has disconnected most of the tubes and machines, except for the sensors and the IV.  Zoi is sitting up in bed, but he seems as weak and unsteady as a day old kitten and his eyes are closed.]

[He turns his head without opening his eyes and crawls to the edge of the bed and holds out one shaky arm]

Zoi: K-Kunzite?

[Kunzite grabs hold of Zoi and clutches him close, afraid to let go.]

Kunzite:  I’m right here.

Zoi:  Stay, Kunzite.  Stay with me….

Kunzite:  [his voice breaking but triumphant]  I will.

Zoi:  Thank you, Kunzite.

Kunzite:  I love you.

Zoi:  I know.

[A buzz rises up again but Kunzite barely notices.  None of this makes sense. He’s terrified that he’s dreaming.  He’s afraid he’ll wake up, but with every moment that passes, Zoi still feels very real.]

[Zoi’s mother stands behind Kunzite, waiting for him to release her son.  When he doesn’t, she clears her throat.  And then when he still doesn’t release him, she taps him on the shoulder.]

Renee:  Excuse me.  My boy needs his mother.

[Metalia lets out a shill whistle to get everyone’s attention]

Metalia:  Could all of you please leave?  This patient is still in critical condition!  He is in very delicate health and you are jeopardizing his safety by being in here!

[The others murmur in protest but are shuffled out by Chief Midori. Kunzite breaks away from Zoi  at the last possible moment, but before he reaches the door, Metalia grabs him by the back of the shirt.]

Metalia:  Not you, stupid.  You have a newborn Shitennou to take of.

 


	43. The Caged Soul

[Scene: Zoi’s hospital room. Metalia leaves and shuts the door behind her to grant Kunzite and Zoi their privacy.]

Zoi:  Are they gone?

Kunzite:  Yes.

[Zoi opens his eyes.His eyeballs are complete black]

Zoi:  Kunzite. [On the verge of tears]  I’m feeling so unbelievably cruel right now. I want nothing more than to rise out of this bed and kill everyone in this hospital, including my mom and dad.

Kunzite:  [pets his hair] It’s ok. You’re starving.  You need energy. You’ll feel better after you’ve fed.

Zoi:  [panicked] I’m not sure I know how to do that without killing someone.

[Kunzite takes Zoi into his arms]

Kunzite:  I’m going to kiss you now, and when I do, I want you to try to draw my lifeforce into yourself.  

Zoi:  [frightened] What if I take too much?  

Kunzite:  You won’t. [Leaning in close] Take as much as you need.

[They kiss lightly and Zoi presses up against him, drawing energy. He breaks it off after only a few seconds.]

Zoi:  You will tell me to stop before it gets to be too much, right?

Kunzite:  [sly grin] Now where have we heard that before?

[Kunzite holds him close and they kiss gently.  When Zoi opens his eyes, the whites are nearly white again, and the irises are a dark muddy green]

Kunzite:  Better?

[Zoi nods.]

[He sits up straight and looks at his IV line and shudders]

Zoi:  Ugh.  Needles.

Kunzite:  [smirks] Afraid of a needle.  Sadistic space aliens, intent on torturing him to death, no problem. A sickminded Shitennou. He runs off and marries him.  An IV on the other hand…

[Zoi rolls his eyes]

[Kunzite smoothes Zoi’s hair back from his face]

Kunzite:  You’re here.  You’re alive. I don’t understand how this is possible.

Zoi:  Your mother. She elevated me. [caresses Kunzite’s hand] I’m a Shitennou now. Just like you.

Kunzite:  I understand that part.  I just don’t understand why it took so long.  I was there when she raised Beryl and Nephrite, and it happened in an instant.

Zoi:  [give Kunzite a sidelong smile] Yes, well, things were a little more complicated in my case.

Kunzite:  Because they hadn’t  been…

[Kunzite stops himself abruptly and looks away]

Zoi:  …dead for as long? [shakes his head emphatically]  Don’t worry.  You don’t have to watch what you say around me.  I know everything that happened. As for why it took so long for your mother to elevate me…well…

[Zoi toys with his hair as he gives Kunzite a sly smile.]

Zoi: let’s just say there is a big difference between me and the rest of you…

Kunzite:  What’s that?

Zoi:  I refused to serve her.

[Kunzite’s eyes open wide in horror.]

Kunzite:  You mean, at first.

Zoi: I mean, at all.

Kunzite:…you…?

Zoi:  Refused to take an oath of obedience.

Kunzite: But you’re here, so you must have been very respectful about it, weren’t you.  

Zoi:  [giggles] Oh no, I sassed her, big time.

Lunzite:  [aghast] You little fool.  I could strangle you.  Do you have any idea what should have happened to you as a result of your teenage rebellion?

Zoi:  [sniffs dismissively] It wasn’t rebellion.  She wanted to remove all of my affection for you before she elevated me. She said our love made you weak and sentimental, and my true loyalties should belong to her and her alone.  

[Zoi smiles at Kunzite]

Zoi: She felt that if I was repulsed by your advances it would make me easier for her to manage, and it would make you bitter enough to go back to your old ways. I told her I’d rather be dead than not love you back.  So she decided she had to kill me, after all. But first, to punish me for my impertinence, I had to watch you get over me and move on with you life, just like Beryl got over Endymion.

Kunzite:  [heartfelt] I was never going to get over you.

Zoi: [smiles] Yeah, she finally realized that, and that why I’m here.

[Kunzite holds Zoi and rests his chin on his head.]

Kunzite:  I tried to bring you back.  I tried to summon your spirit back from the afterworld.  You didn’t respond to me.

[Zoi takes Kunzite’s hand]

Zoi:  I’m not sure I completely understand what happened, but I don’t think I was ever really dead.

Kunzite:  What happened?  What do you remember?

[Zoi frowns and moves away from Kunzite and looks away]

Kunzite:  You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.

[Zoi shakes his head and looks Kunzite in the eyes]

Zoi: No… it’s ok…It was just all so very frustrating… I was there. Chained to the post. I heard Neffy screaming and suddenly…. I was somewhere else.  A few feet away and very low to the ground, and everything looked huge and distorted.  I thought you’d teleported me to safety and something had gone wrong, but I turned my head and I could see myself, still chained the post.  I heard screaming and gunshots and I saw myself get shot in the head.  

[Zoi smiles a sad smile]

Zoi:  I cried out for you.  I had a voice but I couldn’t speak. Everything felt wrong.  Then your mother appeared and grabbed me, and shoved me into a cage.  The door had no lock, just a latch.  I tried to reach for it, but I had no hands…

[Zoi curls a lock of hair around one finger with his eyes downcast.]

Zoi: I didn’t take long for me to figure out that she’d turned me into a bird, though I didn’t realize I was a sparrow until you came in and told me I was one.

Kunzite:  Ah. So Mother used a nearby sparrow as a soul jar? Clever.

Zoi:  [frowns] I don’t know what a soul jar is.

Kunzite:  A soul jar is a container that is used to house a person’s mind and soul in preparation for transference to another body. Or in your case, the same body, after it had been healed and resurrected…usually they are made with dark magic, but sometimes you can use a living creature, and house two souls in one body for a short period of time.

[Zoi nods]

Zoi:  She told it would only be a matter of time before you moved on, but you didn’t.  The more time had passed, the more desperate you seemed to bring me back.  Nothing she would say or do would dissuade you… She thought I would gloat about that, but seeing you hurting like that was more horrible than anything else she could have done to me.  To hear you calling out for me while trapped and unable to respond…. I cried a lot. That’s when your Mother and I discovered we actually do have something in common.  Neither of us likes to see you suffer.

[Zoi sighs]

Zoi:  Her change of heart came only a few minutes ago. I told her to make you stop loving me, instead me stop loving you.  She laughed and said that since I was worth almost nothing without your love, that wouldn’t accomplish a thing.  I told her it would leave her free to kill me, and then you really could move on.

[Zoi giggles again]

Zoi: I guess once it was my idea, she didn’t like it as much….Instead she explained how an unbreakable bond to an unbreakable bond is an unbreakable bond, after all, so we’d passed her little “test”, like this had been her plan all along.

Kunzite:  [pets his hair] Maybe it was.  She wouldn’t have bothered collecting your soul if she didn’t have high hopes that everything would eventually turn out for the best.

Zoi:  Maybe…I certainly hope so.  She brought me back to life just now. She placed a dark blue stone in my chest, a tanzanite, I believe it was. Now I’m here… I guess you’re supposed to call me Tanzanite now?

Kunzite:  Uh…[emphatic] no.

[Zoi gives Kunzite a nervous look]

Zoi:  And I suppose I should mention that she’s holding you completely responsible for my actions now.

[Kunzite smiles fondly and kisses his forehead before hugging him close]

Zoi:  Does this mean you’re ok with that?

[Kunzite holds him for a while until they sense someone approaching the door]

Kunzite:   I think your mother is coming back.

Zoi:  [glum as he crawls back in bed] Oh, great.  Now I get to hear about how this near death experience of mine has been all about her.

Kunzite:  [smirks] She does have a point, you know. As far as anyone can tell, you just slept through the whole thing.

 


	44. Home Is Where the Heart Is

[Kunzite moves to a chair as Zoi’s mother enters.  She’s crying. Not her usual ‘exaggerated sniffling while blotting eyes with a tissue so as not to ruin her makeup’ crying.  She’s red and puffy and tears are forming a river down either side of her face.  Zoi’s alarmed to see his mother so distraught.]

Zoi:  Oh, Mom, don’t cry!  

[Zoi’s mother takes Kunzite’s place at Zoi’s side]

Zoi:  I’m so glad to see you.

[Zoi’s mother bends over to hug him, her tears falling on Zoi’s cheeks]

Renee:  Zoi, I was so upset!

Zoi:  I’m sorry, Mom.  But everything is fine now.  It’s ok.

Renee:  I’m just glad to finally see your eyes open.

Zoi:  How long have they been closed?

Renee:  It’s Tuesday, Hon.

Zoi:  [shocked]  Tuesday? [He looks to Kunzite who nods]

Renee:  You were out for a while, hon.  The doctors didn’t think you were going to make it.

Zoi:  I know.

Renee:  You’re lucky Dr. O’Sama is here.  She’s such a nice lady…very old though.  She looks like she should be making houses out of gingerbread instead of treating patients.

[Zoi thinks of Hansel & Gretel and giggles]  

Zoi:  So you’ve met Kunzite’s mother?

Renee:  And Kunzite’s sister, Beryl.  She’s a sexy girl.

Zoi:  [smiles and nods] That she is.

Renee:  And his brother Neffy…VERRRRRY handsome.

Zoi: [frowns] Don’t go out with him.

[Zoi’s mom laughs]

[She looks at all mylar balloons and little vases of flowers]

Renee:  You never told me you had so many friends here in Hen Tie.

Zoi:  Where’s Giancarlo?

Renee:  Italy—oh Zoi!  [She smiles with excitement] The best news, you’ll never guess!

Zoi:  What?

Renee:  Giancarlo’s in Italy right now because his uncle and his cousins were in a terrible accident.

Zoi:  [wide-eyed]  Oh, no. Are they going to be ok?

Renee: [purses her lips] No. They’re all dead.

Zoi:  How is that good news!

Renee:  Oh dear, I should have phrased this better… The good news is his family really does own a castle!  Giancarlo’s uncle was worth millions and Giancarlo’s father is the closest surviving relative!  Family is very important there, far more important than here in the states.  Your new grandfather is dying to meet us, so we’re going to Italy to live with him!  

Zoi:  That’s great, Mom!

Renee:  You’ll love it so much!  It’s always sunny there, and we’ve found a really good school for ex-pats. Most of the students are British and German, but at least you’ll be able to continue your schooling in English until you’ve had a chance to become fluent in Italian.

Zoi:  Wait, Mom, what are you talking about?  I’m not moving to Italy.

Renee:  Why not?

Zoi: I live in Hen Tie.

Renee:  [giggles] But you don’t have to anymore, silly. Giancarlo’s father has so much money now none of us will have to work another day in our lives.  No more sleeping on couches in fleabag apartments for you.  You’ll even have your very own bathroom!  In a castle!

Zoi:  Mom.  I want to live in Hen Tie.  I’m already settled in school and I have a lot of friends.

[Zoi’s mom stares at Kunzite]

Zoi:  And dad needs me.  He’s all alone here and he can’t cook at all.

Renee:  You want to stay in Hen Tie?  Why?

Zoi:  I told you, school, Dad…

Renee:  Honey, you hate Hen Tie.

Zoi:  It’s not so bad.

[She deliberately looks between Zoi and Kunzite]

Renee:  But a castle!  You’ve wanted to live in a castle since you were tiny!  It was your big dream!  To live like a fairytale princess…It’s this boy isn’t it?

Zoi:  He’s part of it.  Though I’m sure he’d have no problem coming over to visit me in Italy, whenever he feels like it.

Kunzite:  [under his breath] That’s for damn sure.

Zoi: This place is really special.  Once you get used to the dark and cold, you see how special the people are here. It’s like no other place on Earth.  I really can’t see myself starting over again, anyplace else. 

[Zoi’s mom sighs in resignation]

Renee:  [reaches into her purse and hold a dollar bill to Kunzite] Could you be a lamb and go get me a pop or a soda or whatever they call them here?  I’ve lived so many places I can’t keep track.

Kunzite:  What kind?

Renee:  Diet, I guess.  I don’t care, as long as it has bubbles.

[Kunzite leaves without taking the dollar]

Zoi:  [staring at the closed door] I take it you’ve already met Kunzite.

Renee:  Yes.  And I want to talk to you about that.

Zoi:  Uh-oh.  What about?

[Zoi’s mom lowers her voice to a conspiratory whisper]

Renee:  I think that boy is in love with you.

Zoi:  [blushes] I think so, too.

Renee:  And how do you feel about him?

Zoi: [blushes even deeper] I’m pretty crazy about him.

Renee:  [Voice drops with motherly concern] He seems nice, and, my goodness, he’s incredibly good looking, but you’re so young, Zoi!

Zoi:  [twirls a lock of hair around his finger] I know that, Mom. Don’t worry about it.  It’s just a crush.

Renee:  [nods]That’s right… [Glances at the clock on the wall]…oh dear.

Zoi:  Do you need to leave?

Renee:  Giancarlo’s supposed to call in a while…I didn’t know you were going to wake up.

Zoi:  No problem, Mom.  I won’t be alone.

Renee:  I’ll be back soon…I’ve been sleeping here, you know?

[She points to the suitcase on the couch, pleased with herself]

Zoi:  Mom, you didn’t need to do that.  I wouldn’t have known.

Renee:  I was too nervous to stay in a hotel…

[Zoi smiles, touched by her concern]

Renee:  There’s been a lot of crime in the area.

[Zoi’s face falls since he thought she’d been worried about him]

Zoi:  Crime? There’s been a lot of crime?

Renee:  For heaven’s sakes Zoi!  You were kidnapped by those crazy Blackmoons, and then very nearly killed when their cult compound caught fire!  Yes. I’d say there’s been a lot of crime!

Zoi:  [winces] I meant aside from that.

[Zoi’s mother realizes she’s being insensitive.]

Renee:  I can stay, baby.  If you need me.

Zoi:  No, Mom.  I’ll be fine. Kunzite will be with me.

[Kunzite returns and hands her a can of diet cola. Zoi blushes and smiles. Zoi’s mom notices this and looks at Kunzite like he’s the reason she should stay.]

Renee:  [points and stares directly at Kunzite]  I’ll be back.

Zoi:  I love you, mom.

Renee: I love you too. Try to be careful, honey, I don’t want to lose you.

[Zoi’s mom kisses the top of his head and pats his hand before she leaves.]


	45. Kunzite No Baka

[In an instant Kunzite is back at his side. Zoi looks at the vases filled with flower and tries to rise to look at them, but he he becomes dizzy and slumps back down. Kunzite’s cool fingers catch him.]

Kunzite:  No, you don’t.

[Zoi turns as Kunzite’s face is just inches from his.]

Kunzite:  You’re still very weak.  You’ve been through a lot.  You need to rest.  

[Zoi can feel Kunzite’s lips at his ear]

Kunzite:  I love you.

Zoi:  I love you, too.

Kunzite:  I know.

[Zoi tries to turn his face toward Kunzite, but he’s too tired.  Kunzite can tell what he wants, so he kneels over him and kisses him on the lips]

Zoi:  Thanks.

Kunzite:  Anytime.

Zoi:  I finally understand all that stuff about people’s energy and how it tastes.  Once I tasted yours it was impossible to stop.  Impossible… do I still taste as good as I used to as a human?

Kunzite:  Even better–better than I imagined possible.

Zoi:  I’m sorry.

Kunzite:  Of all the things to apologize for.

Zoi:  What should I apologize for?

Kunzite:  For very nearly taking yourself away from me forever.

Zoi:  I’m sorry.

Kunzite:  I know why you did it.  It was still irrational, of course.  You should have called me.

Zoi:  You wouldn’t have saved my dad.

Kunzite:  No, I wouldn’t have.

Zoi:  Oh, Kunzite, I need to see him.

[Kunzite looks through the door.]

Kunzite: You have nothing to worry about.  Your only job is to rest. Beryl’s keeping him up to date.  You can give him a call later.  Mother’s telling the others you will need to stay at the mansion with us for the next few weeks, since you will require around the clock monitoring and rehabilitation. You should try to avoid humans until you’ve learned to restrain your new impulses.

Zoi:  You mean my new impulses to kill humans?

Kunzite:  Not just those.

Zoi:  [nervous]  What else is there?

Kunzite:  You’ll see when your new powers start manifesting themselves in an unpredictable manner.

[Zoi stares at the door]

Zoi:  Does it bother her…Beryl…that you succeeded where she had failed?

Kunzite: Undoubtedly.  But I think it pleases her more to know that Mother is loosening the reins on us and becoming less hardbitten and cynical in her old age. If Beryl ever does fall in love again, things should go a little more smoothly for her this time.

Zoi:  My mother.  She came here to Hen Tie.  What did you tell her had happened to me?

Kunzite:  I never got much of a chance to talk with her, but I assume she thinks the same thing everyone else does. That you were rescued from the fire that burned down Blackmoon Manor.  The firefighters managed to get you out, but you had already perished from smoke inhalation.  That they were too slow.  [His face tormented]  It was almost too late.

Zoi:  [tormented by the anguish in Kunzite’s voice] Oh, Kunzite. I’m so sorry.

Kunzite:  Shhh! Everything’s alright now.

Zoi:  [smiles]  So Blackmoon Manor burned up, did it?

Kunzite: [nods] Right down to its very foundation.

Zoi:  Did you do that?

Kunzite: [smirks] I wish I’d had time.

[Zoi just gazes adoringly at Kunzite for a while.]

Zoi: How as your [airquotes] trip to the drink machine?

Kunzite: Interesting.

Zoi:  [smirks] How so?

Kunzite:  I’m surprised…a castle in Italy… and your mother…I thought that’s what you would want.

Zoi:  [winks] But then you’d be separated from the rest of your family.

Kunzite: [almost smiles then his face turns grave]   I would stay in Hen Tie.

Zoi:  [Outraged] But you said I’d need to be trained to be around humans again!

Kunzite:  I meant after your training.

[For more than a minute Zoi just blinks at him.  Then he turns on his side, away from Kunzite.]

Zoi:  [cold]  I see.

[He sounds calm, but he’s chewing his thumb and his eyes are filled with tears, and Zoi’s health monitor starts to go haywire, beeping like crazy with the numbers jumping around completely at random.]

[A nurse comes rushing in]

Nurse Eudial: Oh, my.  I’ve never seen one do that before…[bangs on the monitor with the heel of her hand, then sees Zoi with his eyes shut to prevent his tears from escaping]  Time for some pain meds, sweetheart?

Zoi:  I don’t need anything.

Nurse Eudial: No need to be brave. It’s better if you don’t get too stressed out.  You need to rest.

[The nurse stares at Zoi for a while. ]

[Zoi shakes his head.]

Nurse Eudial:  [sighs] Hit the call button when you’re ready.

[The nurse gives Kunzite a stern look as she’s leaving.]


	46. Forever

[Kunzite takes Zoi’s face in his hands.  Zoi looks at him with wild eyes.]

Zoi:  [burst into tears] You said you wouldn’t leave me again!

Kunzite:  Shhh.  Zoisite. Calm down.

Zoi:  You keep promising me you won’t leave, but all you ever talk about is leaving me!  

Kunzite:  I also told you it is dangerous to be with me, and I was right. wasn’t I?

Zoi:  You swore upon your honor we’d never spend another night apart from one another!

Kunzite: That was right before I got you killed.

Zoi:  I’m not dead now!

Kunzite:  Zoisite, listen to me.  There’s something you need to understand.  You are a Shitennou now.  A being of pure energy.  That’s why we can do magic.  We have physical bodies, only because our humanoid souls require we take solid form. But is just a simulation, a mystical reproduction of the form you once held.  Nothing more.

Zoi:  So?

Kunzite: A Shitennou can never be resurrected…If I get you killed a second time, your body will dissipate and there is nothing anyone can do to bring you back.

Zoi:  So what? Don’t leave me!

Kunzite:  I won’t.  Now relax before I call the nurse back in to sedate you.

[Zoi doesn’t calm down at all, but instead grabs hold of Kunzite like he’s a lifeline.]

Zoi:  Promise me.

Kunzite:  What?

Zoi: [Getting angry] You know what!

Kunzite: [pets his hair anxiously] Zoisite.  I’m not going anywhere. I’ll stay right by your side for as long as you need me.

Zoi: [narrows his eyes] And which of us gets to decide that?

Kunzite:  You, of course.  

[Zoi is taken aback]

Kunzite: [sighs] I’m not looking forward to the day you finally come to your senses, but you’re smart, so it’s going to happen eventually.

Zoi:  [smiles] Don’t hold your breath…so you swear you won’t leave me?

[Takes Zoi face in both of his hands and brings his face very close to his.]

Kunzite: I swear.

[Kunzite gathers him into his arms and continues to hold him until his breathing slows and the numbers on the monitors stop fluctuating wildly.]

Kunzite:  Better?

Zoi: [cautious] Yes….

[Kunzite continues to hold him.]

Zoi: [angry] Why did you say that? Are you tired of me already? Is it too much trouble to keep saving me? Do you want me to go away?

Kunzite: No, I don’t want to be away from you, Zoisite.  Of course not… And I have no trouble saving you either—if it wasn’t for the fact I was the one who was putting you in danger…that I’m the reason that you’re in here.

Zoi:  Yes, you’re the reason. The reason that I’m here—alive!

Kunzite:  I’m not sure alive is the proper term in this context. You’re a creature of the Dark Kingdom now. I’m not sure you should be thanking me.

Zoi:  [snippy] Do you wish Metalia hadn’t elevated you?

Kunzite:  No, I don’t wish that.  But I’d already lost everything.  I wasn’t giving anything up.

Zoi: You are the thing it hurt me the most to lose.  Even more than my life… If it weren’t for you I’d be rotting in the Hen Tie cemetery right now.

[Kunzite winces]

Kunzite:  If it weren’t for me, you would have never been shot… That’s not the worst part, though.  Not seeing you dead… all crumpled and broken.  Not knowing I had failed to save you.  Not even knowing that it was my own plan that put that bullet in your head—all those unbearable memories that I’ll carry for the rest of eternity.   No, the very worst was that you had died, and I didn’t even know it, because I thought it was more important to take revenge on the Blackmoons than to get you to safety.  

Zoi:  But it made no difference.

Kunzite:  [devastated] It could have made a difference. So easily.

[Kunzite’s trembling. Zoi wants to comfort him, but he’s afraid if he validates Kunzite’s sorrow, it will just give him incentive to leave again.]

Kunzite: [still trembling] I’m not strong enough to stay away from you, so I suppose you’ll get your way… whether it kills you or not.

Zoi: Good.

[Kunzite laughs and gathers Zoi into his arms]

Kunzite:  There will be no more talk of leaving, at least not from me.  If you were watching me, you’d know I would have torn heaven and hell to pieces looking for you. If there is one thing you never need to question, it’s the sincerity of my love for you.

Zoi: I’m still afraid to let you out of my sight.

[Kunzite smiles.  He seems as happy as he was when they got married.]

Kunzite:  I told you I’m not going anywhere. Don’t be afraid. As long as it makes you happy, I’ll be here.

Zoi: [bats his eyes at him] You’re talking about forever, you know.

Kunzite:  [smirks] You’ll get over me-It’s just a crush.

Zoi: [punches his shoulder] I was shocked when Mom swallowed that.  I know you know better.

[Kunzite strokes his cheek with the lightest of touches. As Kunzite leans in slowly, the numbers on the monitor escalate even before their lips touch.  The monitor starts beeping erratically and the numbers start jumping up to improbably levels again.  Kunzite uses his magic to silence it before it attracts the nurse again]

Kunzite:  Hmmm… I wonder.

[Kunzite kisses Zoi passionately.  Zoi’s skin bursts into flames, the liquid in the IV bubbles, melting the bag. There is a flash and the wires attached to Zoi are covered with arcs of electricity before the monitor explodes and shorts out completely.]

[Kunzite pulls back abruptly]

Zoi:  Oops.

Kunzite:  [smiles] It appears I’m going to need to be even more careful with you than usual… At least in the short term.

Zoi:  Hey!  I wasn’t finished kissing you.  Don’t make me come over there.

[Kunzite grins and kisses Zoi as passionately as he can.]


	47. Homecoming

[Scene:  Twilight at the O'Sama house.  Kunzite and Zoi pull up in the Maserati.  It’s warm so Zoi’s just wearing jeans and a t-shirt and Kunzite shirt is partly unbuttoned.]

Kunzite:  Home at last. 

[Gazes at Zoi adoringly as he strokes a lock of his hair.]

Zoi: [smiles] What?

Kunzite:  You’re finally spending the night here.  I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time.

Zoi:  Me too.  
  
[They kiss for a while before getting out of the car to walk to the house]  
  
[Kunzite sneaks up on Zoi and scoops him up into his arms and keeps walking.]  
    
Zoi:  Hey, put me down!

[Kunzite ignores him]

Zoi: I can walk you know.  In fact, I’m fairly certain I can fly.  
  
Kunzite: After everything that’s happened, I’m not taking any chances of something jumping out of the woods and snatching you away from me.  
  
[Kunzite carries Zoi into the house where they see Jeddy watching Martha Stewart.  He pauses the TV turns and as Kunzite enters with Zoi.]

Jeddy:  Hey, Kunzite.  Hey, Zoi. Welcome home.

Kunzite:  Hello, Jadeite.  
  
[Zoi just stares at Jeddy with his mouth agape while Kunzite looks at the TV where Martha Stewart is making Grand Marnier whipped cream]

Kunzite:  More cooking experiments?  
  
Jeddy:  I figured we’d have bunch tomorrow to celebrate the new addition to the family.  Zoi’s dad said he likes orange juice and waffles, so I thought I’d make Belgian waffles with whipped cream, powdered sugar, and fruit compote.    
  
Kunzite:  Where is Nephrite?  
  
Jeddy:  He’s up in his room, engaging in soul-searching and quiet contemplation. 

[Jeddy pantomimes drinking from a bottle]   
  
Kunzite:  [grins] So he regrets not taking me down when he had the chance?  
  
Jeddy:  Oh, you know it! [to Zoi] I’m thinking of starting bunch at 7am.  What time do you normally get up?

[Zoi just makes a sour face at Jeddy.]

Kunzite:  He’ll be getting up when he gets up.  He just got out of the hospital.  I want him well rested when I start his Shitennou training tomorrow.  
  
Jeddy:  Oh right.  See you in the morning.  
  
[Zoi waits until they are upstairs before speaking]  
  
Zoi: [aghast] Jeddy’s cooking us brunch?  
  
Kunzite:  Cooking is a hobby of his.  Just like fashion design is a hobby of Beryl’s.  When you’ve lived as long as the rest of us, you’ll realize the importance of developing hobbies.  
  
Zoi:  That’s not the point.  He tried to kill you with a crossbow yesterday!  
  
Kunzite:  Well, we can’t hold that against him.  
  
Zoi:  But… he tried to murder you…  
  
Kunzite:  [smirks] I can see you’re going to have to get used to having siblings…Rule 1: Don’t hold grudges and don’t seek revenge.  That will get you killed faster than anything.  
  
Zoi:  I don’t understand.  So I’m just supposed to let them try to kill us?  
  
Kunzite:  No.  If they attack you, you fight back.  And you can attack them first, but only if mother approves.  What happened with Jadeite was a special case. Yes, he tried to kill me and, yes, he’ll try again when the opportunity presents itself.  It’s my responsibility to keep that from happening.    
  
Zoi:  I don’t get it.  
  
[Carries Zoi into their bedroom and places him on the bed]

Kunzite:  You’re still thinking like a human.  You have to think like a jungle animal.  Think of us as a pack of carnivorous animals. I’m the alpha male, Jadeite and Nephrite are the beta males.  For as long as I live they will always be my inferiors.  A pack is only as strong as its alpha, so at the first sign of weakness, they have to try to kill me, to challenge me for leadership of the Shitennou.  
  
Zoi: [very serious] I will never challenge you for leadership of the Shitennou.  
  
Kunzite:  [kisses his forehead and smiles] Well you’re not exactly a beta, are you?  You’re my tiny co-alpha.  

[Kunzite helps him off with his t-shirt and jeans and tucks him into bed. Zoi snuggles against the pillow under the covers.]

Zoi:  A bed.  A real bed.  You have no idea how good this feels after days upon days of sleeping in birdcages and hospital beds and suitcases.  
  
Kunzite:  Suitcases?  
  
Zoi:  Uh…nevermind.  So we are doing tomorrow?

[Kunzite folds up Zoi’s clothes and puts them in the dresser.]

Kunzite: Tomorrow, if you’re feeling up to it, we will start your training.

Zoi: Oh, I’m feeling up to it.  I’m up for quite a lot actually.

[Kunzite turns as Zoi tosses his underpants on the floor.  He’s shaking out his ponytail and pulling his hair over his shoulders so it doesn’t get caught underneath him and giving Kunzite a come-hither look.]  
  
Kunzite: [smiles] Oh, no.  I’ve been mourning your death for the past three days.  That is the furthest thing from my mind.

Zoi:  It’s never very far from my mind.

Kunzite: [Edging closer to the bed]  We have plenty of time for that sort of thing later.  I get you all to myself for the next few weeks.

Zoi: [takes Kunzite’s hand] You said I’ll need training?  What sort of training?

Kunzite: [Sits the edge of the bed to explain but is becoming increasingly distracted by the outline of Zoi’s body through the sheet.] All sorts of training…  There are two types of powers you will develop… learned powers and innate. Your innate powers arise from your character…The first thing we have to do is determine is what form your innate powers will take… since that will suggest a proper course of study to augment or compensate as needed.

Zoi: What form do your innate powers take?

Kunzite: Negation.  Jadeite is illusion, Nephrite’s is astrological.  

Zoi: And mine?

Kunzite: From what little I’ve seen of your energy signatures, I’m guessing yours is nature based…which makes perfect sense given your love of flowers…Tomorrow morning we’ll go to the field out back and we’ll play a form of word association…  I’ll give a command, and you’ll draw upon your powers to comply.

[By now, Kunzite is openly leering at Zoi]  
  
Zoi:  You’re losing your resolve, aren’t you?  
  
Kunzite:  What resolve?  
  
[Kunzite pounces on a giggling Zoi, pinning him to the mattress and kissing him.  They make out for several minutes before Zoi breaks it off with a suggestive look on his face.]  
  
Zoi:  This is not fair.  I’m completely naked under here and you still have all your clothes on.  
  
Kunzite:  Then take them off me.  
  
[Zoi unbuttons Kunzite shirt the rest of the way, but stops as his fingertips burst into flames.]  
  
Zoi: [nervous] Maybe it’s not be a good idea to stick sensitive parts inside each other until I get this under control.  
  
[Kunzite touches Zoi’s wrist and the flames die out.]  
  
Kunzite:  You can’t harm me, and I’m certainly not going to harm you.  

Zoi:  Are you sure I can’t hurt you?

Kunzite: [nods] As long as the house is still standing when we’re finished, everything should be fine.  
  
[Zoi goes back to what he was doing]  
  
Kunzite:  This will be interesting.  I’ve never done it with a Shitennou before.  
  
Zoi:  You’ll have to tell me what it’s like.  
  
Kunzite: [smiles] What do you mean? You’ve done it with a Shitennou before.  
  
Zoi: Yes, but I have no basis of comparison.

[A few minutes later in Neffy’s room, Neffy watches the bottle of vodka on his nightstand shake and then rock and then fall over and roll on the floor.]

Neffy:  Jesus H. Christ.

[Neffy opens another bottle and does his best not to think about what’s going on in the other side of house.]                                 


	48. The Fourth

[Scene: The O’Sama house. Beryl, Neffy, and Jeddy are in the formal dining room having Belgian waffles and champagne. Neffy’s holding an icepack to his forehead. Kunzite comes down the stairs, all smiles]

Beryl: You’re in an awfully good mood this morning.

Kunzite: [wistful] I’ve finally got to do something with Zoisite I’ve been dreaming about doing with him since the moment I first laid eyes on him.

Jeddy: What’s that?

Neffy: [mumbles through his hangover] Don’t answer that question. We don’t want to know.

Kunzite: [shoots Neffy a dirty look] I got to drift off to sleep while holding him in my arms.

Beryl: [tartly] Ah. That’s so sweet.

Neffy: Thank god for that.

Jeddy: [a bit perplexed] Wait a minute….This isn’t the first time you’ve slept in the same bed.

Kunzite: [grins] Yes, but it is the first time we got to fall asleep together immediately after—

Neffy: [Throws down his icepack] Whoa! Do not finish that sentence! I repeat, do not finish the sentence! The sentence ends right there!

[Kunzite makes up a tray and starts to carry it upstairs]

Kunzite: If you need me today, I’ll be in the field out back training Zoisite…There will be a thunderstorm today, to cover up any noise, explosions or bright flashes of light…oh, and if any of you decides it might be a good idea to harm him in any way, with or without Mother’s blessing, I WILL KILL YOU. With or without mother’s blessing. Is that understood? 

Neffy: [chuckles] Hey, you have nothing to worry about. Beryl never liked being the only girl in the house. And if Zoi can’t take him out already, Jeddy’s certainly not going to try to cull the only person more incompetent than he is. [shakes Jeddy by the shoulder] Isn’t that right, Jeddy.

Jeddy: [snarls at Neffy] And since Neffy’s already been declawed, defanged, and deneutered as far as Zoi is concerned, I’d say you have nothing to worry about.

Kunzite: [Smiles] Glad to hear it.

*** Fast forwarding past the training to several weeks later. Hope nobody feels cheated. ***

[Several weeks later…]

[Scene: Hen Tie High. The bell has rung and Kunzite and Zoi are kissing passionately in a corner by the door of the lab while the other students are going to their next class. Zoi looks up at a clock and then breaks it off.]

Zoi: Oh, no.

Kunzite: What’s wrong?

Zoi: I’m going to be late for gym class.

Kunzite: Really? I must have lost track of time.

Zoi: I thought you said you were incapable of losing track of— [punches Kunzite’s shoulder] Hey wait a minute!

Kunzite: [innocent smirk] what?

Zoi: I suddenly realized that the whole reason you’ve been keeping me out of gym class all this time is because you don’t want the other boys to see me in my underpants.

Kunzite: [frowns, deeply offended by the accusation] No, not at all. I kept you out of gym class because I love you, and I wanted to spend time with you, and that seemed the best opportunity to steal some time alone with you…[smirks]…keeping the other boys from seeing you in your underpants is just why I’m making you late today.

[Zoi gives him a peck on the lips]

Zoi: You’re silly.

[Zoi vanishes in a flurry of petals and reappears in his gym clothes at the back of the line of boys filing into the gym. He takes his seat in the bleachers between Umino and Mamoru. He uses the trick Kunzite taught him for soaking up ambient energy from the crowd of people sitting passively around him, but it’s maddeningly slow.]

Mamoru: Welcome back to the gym, buddy.

Zoi: Thanks.

Umino: Just in time for prom. Are you and Kunzite going?

Zoi: Nah. That’s not really our thing. What about you guys?

Mamoru: I’m taking Usagi. I’ve been saving up for weeks to buy our tickets.

Umino: And Naru and I are tagging along.

Zoi: [Smiles] That’s great. You’ll both have to call me to tell me all about it.

[The gym teacher enters with a volleyball in his hand and blows his whistle]

Gym Teacher: Listen up. In honor of prom we’ll have another tournament. Volleyball this time. Two on two. Winning team gets two VIP tickets to the prom.

Mamoru: [wide eyed] Oh my god. I need to win those.

Gym teacher: Once again, we’re start with the weakest link. Zoi Midori get up here.

[Mamoru and Umino’s jaws drop]

Umino: Hey! That’s not fair! He’s been in a coma!

Mamoru: He just got out of physical therapy!

Gym Teacher: Good. Maybe he’s finally developed some strength in those puny little arms of his.

[The other boys are muttering or laughing at the diss, but Zoi’s just sitting there with a deranged grin on his face]

Gym teacher: [tosses the volleyball to Zoi] Consider this a makeup assignment, considering you’ve missed more classes than you’ve attended.

[Zoi rises from the bleacher and Mamoru rises along with him. Zoi shoots him a grateful smile as they walk to the volleyball net, but when Mamoru reach for the ball Zoi shakes his head.]

Zoi: I’ll serve, if that’s ok with you.

[The boys take their places and Zoi sets up to serve, but at the last second he makes a slight turn and when he hit the ball it goes rocketing right into the direction of their gym teacher.]

[The gym teacher barely has a second to react before the ball collides with his midsection like a cannonball, sending him flying about five feet through the air before he drops with a thud onto the gym floor.]

[The ball hit the far wall then rolls on the ground, but Zoi stops it with his foot just a few inches away from the gym teacher’s face. Zoi looks down at him with an evil grin.]

Zoi: Oops. Sorry about that. I guess my puny little arm must have slipped.

Gym Teacher: W-who the hell are you?

[Zoi examines his fingernails]

Zoi: You know how some people wake up from a coma with an uncanny ability to speak a second language? I woke up from my coma with an inexplicable talent for kicking your ass.

[Zoi tosses the ball over his shoulder and it swishes through the basketball hoop on the far side of the gym.]

Zoi: So, are you going to give those tickets to Mamoru now? Or do we have to go through a full hour of this?

Gym teacher: [holds up the tickets] Take them!

[Zoi snatches the tickets from his hand, gives them to Mamoru, then saunters back to Umino and sits next to him, ignoring the murmurs of the boys around him.]

Umino: [tugs his sleeve] Um, Zoi…could I get the number of your physical therapist?


	49. Zoisite Golightly

[Scene:  The Midori living room.  Neffy, Jeddy, and Chief Midori are drinking beer and eating nachos and watching the game. Chief Midori’s dressed in jeans and flannel, but the O’Sama’s are wearing tuxedos. ]

[Beryl squeezes out of the kitchen wearing a pair of white capri pants and a crocheted sweater with her hair in a messy bun. Then she morphs into full makeup and a red beaded gown.]

Beryl:  I have truly outdone myself this time.

Jeddy: [whispers] Has he figured it out yet?

Beryl:  [whispers] He hasn’t got a clue.  I told him I’m entering a fashion contest.  [Louder] Zoi, dear, time for your big entrance!

Zoi: [From the kitchen]  Promise you won’t laugh.

Neffy: Oh, I’m going to laugh!  I can pretty much promise it.

Beryl:  Neffy. He’s not going to laugh!

Zoi:  [From the kitchen] Forget it.  I’m not coming out there just so he can make fun of me.

Beryl:  Do you really think he’s going to make fun of you in front of your father?

Zoi:  I wouldn’t put it past him.

Beryl:  You look great!  He’s not going to laugh!  If he laughs, I’ll buy you the car of your choice!

Neffy: Take the deal, kid!  It will be the easiest car you’ve ever earned!

Beryl:  [raises her hand to Neffy] Stop it!  This is hard enough without you heckling him!

Zoi:  Dad?  Could you come in here and tell me if this looks ok?

Chief Midori: [walks into the kitchen] I’m sure it looks fine.  Beryl showed me her sketches and she assured me that – OH HELL NO!

[Chief Midori goes running out of the kitchen]

Chief Midori:  There is no way in hell my son is leaving the house looking like a $20,000 a night call girl!

Beryl:  What are talking about?  [flourishes at her own plunging neckline] His dress is far more conservative than mine is.

Chief Midori: [glancing at Beryl’s abundant cleavage] Yeah…about that–

Zoi:  Leaving the house?  [Zoi comes running out of the kitchen]  Who said anything about leaving the house!

[Neffy and Jeddy’s jaws drop.  As does the beer bottle in Neffy’s hand.]

[Zoi is looking like a beauty pageant contestant during the evening gown competition. A completely flat chested beauty pageant contestant, but it’s a good look on him. He is wearing a long, sleeveless, skintight dress of fuchsia silk, slit high on one leg, to reveal silk stockings and stiletto heels.  He’s also got black opera length gloves, a diamond choker, and Beryl has pinned all his hair high up on the top of his head and crowned it with a tiara of orchids the same color as his dress.  His face is made up in a way that makes it impossible to guess he’s a boy.]

Jeddy:  Wow! Zoi! You look really beautiful.

Neffy:  [blushing furiously] Are you as confused as I am right now?

Jeddy:  Huh?

Neffy:  Nothing.

Jeddy:  That’s the look from Breakfast at Tiffany’s, isn’t it?

Beryl:  Yes, I knew it would look good on him because he has roughly the same build as Audrey Hepburn.  See, Zoi, I told you Neffy wouldn’t laugh.  And if he doesn’t laugh, nobody else will either.

Chief Midori:  [ponders] At second glance, I suppose it does look ok.

Zoi:  [With his hands on his hips] Where are we going?  And why are you all dressed up?  And WHERE is Kunzite?  

Neffy:  Yeah, kid. That’s great.  Keep talking.      

Beryl:  We sent Kunzite to get the limo.  I wanted you to greet him at the door, so he could get the full effect.

[The doorbell rings]  

Jeddy:  [rubs his hands together with excitement] That must be him.

Beryl: [pushes Zoi to the door while the others crowd behind her] Go on, get the door.  I can’t wait to see the look on his face.

[Zoi bites his lip and opens the door]

[Motoki is standing in the doorway, wearing a tuxedo and grinning like a loon.  The Crown Center van is visible in the driveway.]

Motoki: [suave] Well, hello, Miss.  I don’t believe we’ve met.  I’m Motoki Furuhata and my family owns the Crown Center.  Is Zoi home?

Zoi:  Motoki! Would you mind telling me what the hell is going on?

[Motoki is taken aback at the sound of Zoi’s voice]

Motoki:  Zoi? Is that you?

Zoi:  Yes, it’s me, you fool!

[Motoki’s grin widens. Zoi shrieks as Motoki grabs his wrist and tugs him out of the house.]

Motoki:  Screw prom! I’m taking you to Vegas!

[Zoi tries to pull back but he’s not used to walking in heels.]

Zoi:  Dad!

[Chief Midori steps forward, but Neffy holds up one hand to block him]

Neffy:  I’ll handle this.  I know this idiot.  He’s my lab partner.

[Neffy pries Motoki’s hand off Zoi’s wrist and put his arm around Motoki’s shoulder]

Neffy:  Hello, Motoki.  I’m sorry if there’s been some kind of miscommunication, but Zoi is unavailable tonight.  To be perfectly honest, he’ll be unavailable every night, as far as everyone but my brother Kunzite is concerned. As a matter of fact, he’ll be here arriving here any minute, and when he does, you really don’t want him to see you dragging his little wifey-boy into your van.  [claps him on the back] No offense.  Sorry about your evening.

[Motoki mopes away and Neffy aims a pretend kick at his backside]

[When he leaves Zoi is flushed crimson and tears of anger are filling his eyes]

Zoi:  You’re talking me to THE PROM!

Beryl:  Don’t be difficult, Zoi.

Zoi:  [weeping] Why are you doing this to me?

Jeddy: Honestly, Zoi, what did you think you were doing?

[Tears start falling from Zoi’s eyes, Fortunately Beryl has foreseen this as a possibility and magically enhanced the waterproofing of his makeup.]

Neffy:  This is completely ridiculous.  Why are you crying?

Zoi:  Because I’m mad!

Chief Midori:  Zoisite.

Zoi:  What?

Chief Midori:  Humor them.  This is Kunzite’s prom, too.

[Zoi did not expect that from his father. Especially since he’s aware Kunzite’s even more of a bad influence on him now that he’s a Shitennou. Then again, Kunzite did bring him back from the dead, which has probably earned him a permanent place in his father’s good graces.]

Zoi:  Fine. I’ll go quietly…but you’ll see…Kunzite will take one look at me in this ridiculous outfit and he’ll call the whole thing off… [wanders back to the house raising his hem]…Look at these shoes. They’re deathtraps. How do women walk in these without levitating?

Beryl:  Oh stop complaining. They straighten up your posture and make your legs look amazing.

[Zoi turns as a black stretch limo pulls up.  The driver’s side door opens and Thetis steps out, wearing a sexy chauffeur’s outfit.  She opens the passenger side door and Kunzite steps out, wearing a black tuxedo with a white rosebud in his lapel.]  

[Zoi blushes at the sight of him looking so hot in his formalwear and forgets he’s upset.]

[Even Kunzite is blushing at the sight of Zoi. He approaches and takes hold of his hands then gathers him into his arms and gazes into his eyes adoringly.]

Kunzite: [moonstruck] I didn’t think it was possible for you to look any more beautiful…

Zoi:  You…you like this?

Kunzite: I like this a whole lot.

[Normally Zoi would be upset by that, since that implies Kunzite is more attracted to women than he is to men, and therefore, by Zoi’s definition, not actually gay. But Zoi’s still too in awe at the sight of Kunzite in black-tie to organize his thoughts at that level.]

Neffy:  Ahem. We’d better get going.

Thetis:  [sidling up to Jeddy] Someone should ride up front with me.

Jeddy:  [climbs in after Beryl] Neffy, go ride shotgun.

[Thetis sighs and closes the doors for them.]

 


	50. Party Time

[Scene: The back of the limo. Kunzite hasn’t taken his eyes off Zoi. Zoi is becoming petulant again.]

Zoi: This was all your idea, wasn’t it?

Kunzite: [not taking his eyes off Zoi] Uh, huh.

Zoi: Was my dad in on this?

Kunzite: Of course.

Jadeite: [sitting across from them] Apparently, Motoki wasn’t though.

Kunzite: [Takes hold of Zoi] I’ve been plotting and scheming for a while to get you to go to the prom with me.

Zoi: [tart] Why? So you can pretend I’m a girl?

Kunzite: [smiles] But you’re not a girl, are you? [crouching over Zoi] Anyone who mistakes you for a girl is in for a big surprise.

Zoi: That excites you, does it?

Kunzite: It excites me a lot.

Zoi: [smiling] You’re a big freak, you know that?

Kunzite: [kisses him] Only for you.

[Kunzite lowers Zoi onto his back]

Beryl: Hey, don’t mess up his hair. I spent two hours with pins and a flatiron to make it stay like that.

[Kunzite rains kisses on Zoi’s lips as he tries to make the best use of the cramped area at the back of the limo. He wraps one arm around Zoi’s waist and takes advantage of the slit in Zoi’s dress to caress the back of his knee]

Kunzite: Hmmm…[staring at Zoi’s leg] remind me to thank Beryl for that tonight.

Beryl: [sighs] I’m right here.

[Kunzite and Zoi ignore her and kiss passionately]

[Neffy looks back and then turns around in his seat]

Neffy: HEY! No gay sex in the back of the limo! If you two start doing it, I swear to god I will make Thetis pull up to a fire hydrant, conjure a fire hose, and blast you both right out of here!

[Zoi giggles and Kunzite and Zoi break it off and sit up again and Zoi rests his head on Kunzite’s shoulder]

[They pull up in front of the Hen Tie High gym, which is the only structure in Hen Tie large enough to hold a prom.]

[Kunzite helps Zoi out then walks with his arm around his waist.]

[They step inside and approach the ticket table. Zoi giggles at the sight of all the colored light effects, balloon arches, and twisted garlands of crepe paper.]

Zoi: This looks like a horror movie waiting to happen.

Kunzite: It’s lucky for us that we’re the monsters.

[Kunzite buys their tickets]

Minako: Zoi! My main manbitch! Is that you?

[Minako staggers up looking like a million bucks in a yellow sequined dress, with Rei following close behind her in red chiffon, and gives Zoi a long rocking hug and a kiss on the cheek.]

Zoi: You look beautiful.

Minako: You too! [holds Zoi at arm’s length and looks him over and smiles with admiration] My god, you’re so flawless, it’s not fair. I didn’t think it was possible to hate someone half as much as I hate you right now. 

[Breaks it off, teetering, and eyes Kunzite.]

Minako: [sighs profoundly and rolls her eyes] Hi, Kunzite. I suppose I should hug you, too.

[Kunzite backs away as she lunges for him like an amazon, wrapping her arms around him and trying to grab his ass.]

Kunzite: [gripping her wrists and pulling them back to her sides] Hello, Minako. Nice to see you too.

Minako: Oh my god, he knows my name. Rei, he said my name. [Starts crying]

Kunzite: [To Rei] I think your friend’s had a little too much to drink.

Rei: [Leads her away] Come on, bitch. Quit throwing yourself at your friends’ boyfriends. That’s just trashy.

[The O’Sama family skirt the dance floor and find an empty table already set with cupcakes and glasses of icewater. Kunzite pulls out a chair for Zoi then takes a seat next to him. The other O’Samas take their seats as well.]

[A boy from their biology class walks up to Zoi]

Student: Hey, Zoi. Would you like to dance?

[Kunzite stands, drawing himself to his full height, and gives him a hostile look]

Student: Nevermind. [Hurries away]

[Neffy chuckles, then lets out a yell as Naru appears over his shoulder like the Angel of Death.]

Naru: Hi, Neffy.

Neffy: What do you want?

Naru: I was wondered if you’d like to dance.

Neffy: Yes, but not with you.

Naru: Huh? [Hurt] Why not?

Neffy: Because I have a reputation to maintain and it doesn’t involve waltzing with shorties in training bras.

Naru: But…you promised you’d take me for a chocolate parfait…

Neffy: Yeah, so be sure to give me a call when you’re in college.

Naru: [near tears] But…

Neffy: [takes hold of her and steers her off to one side] Move kid. There’s a sexy chaperon over there I’d like to get to know better.

[Get up and leaves Naru standing there looking absolutely crushed]

Umino: [Walks up to Naru] Would you like to dance?

Naru: [takes his hand] I thought you’d never ask.

[Zoi smiles as he watches them go off together to dance, then looks at Kunzite]

Zoi: I suppose you’ll expect me to dance with you?

[Kunite nods. Zoi swallows then avoids his gaze]

Kunzite: When someone wants to kill you, you’re as brave as a lion – then when someone mentions dancing… [shakes his head]

Zoi: I honestly can’t dance. Remember?

Kunzite: Don’t worry, I can.

[Kunzite gives him a pointed stare] 

[Zoi nibbles on the cupcake and sips his icewater]

[Kunzite continues to stare]

Kunzite: I’ve got all night.

[Eventually, an especially touching love ballad plays and Kunzite rises and offers Zoi his hand. Zoi rises and they join the dancers, whirling around. Zoi is surprised to realize he’s actually enjoying himself. His coordination has improved a lot now that he’s a Shitennou, to the point where he’s actually graceful. ]

Zoi: Ok, this isn’t half bad.

[They dance for a while, Zoi resting his head against Kunzite’s chest and swaying on the slower songs. When Kunzite holds him close, he’s grateful to Beryl his dress is backless, one of the advantages of not needing a bra. They dance every song together until Usagi comes over in her white and gold gown and taps Zoi in the shoulder]

Usagi: [smiling angelically] Mind if I cut in?

Zoi: [winking at her] With which one of us?

[Kunzite stares past Usagi and his posture becomes stiff and his face is angry. Zoi follows his gaze and sees Mamoru lurking with his hands in his pockets and slowly crossing the floor toward them, looking a bit uncomfortable and apologetic.]

Kunzite: [snarling] Oh. Of course.

[The closer Mamoru gets, the more Kunzite looks like he wants to kill him]

Zoi: [hissing under his breath into Kunzite’s ear] Behave!

[For a moment Kunzite just clutches Zoi tighter. Then he sighs, reluctantly breaking away from Zoi and taking Usagi’s hands.]

Kunzite: [In passing to Zoi] That little prick will never know how lucky he is to have punched Demande Blackmoon in the face.


	51. Through Tears and Thorns

[Scene:  The Hen Tie High prom.  Mamoru shyly approaches Zoi]

Mamoru:  Hey, Zoi. I was hoping you’d be here.

Zoi:  Hi, Mamoru. What’s up?

Mamoru:  May I have the next dance?

[Zoi nods and steps closer]

Mamoru:  Thanks.

[Mamoru is at a loss for where to put his hands. Kunzite’s staring murder at him whenever his hands get close to Zoi’s bare back, but he has a feeling Kunzite doesn’t want his hands on Zoi’s hips either.  He finally puts his hands on Zoi’s shoulders while Zoi puts his hands on his waist.

[As soon as they get situated, the next song begins. “A Time for Us” from the Soundtrack for Romeo & Juliet.]  

[Kunzite’s jaw drops and he scans the DJ booth for who he needs to kill later for playing a long, romantic song about star-crossed lovers while his young husband is in the arms of his current least favorite person in the world.]

Zoi:  So how are you enjoying your evening with Usagi?

Mamoru:  Wonderful. I told her you won us these VIP tickets and she wanted me to thank you again.

[They look at Usagi who gives them a thumb’s up behind Kunzite’s back.  Oddly, Zoi’s not the least bit jealous of Usagi dancing close with Kunzite, probably because he trusts her more than anyone.]

Zoi:  [smiles fondly at her] Usagi’s such a sweet, innocent girl.

Mamoru:  Yeah, well she thinks we’re just friends.

Zoi:  Mamoru. We ARE just friends.

Mamoru: Oh, yeah. Right. I meant…

[They both look away embarrassed]

Mamoru:  You look very pretty, by the way.

Zoi:  Uh, thanks.

[Mamoru is looking increasingly awkward like he’d rather be anywhere else]

Zoi:  If you’re uncomfortable you don’t have to dance with me, you know.  And you don’t have to thank me for the tickets.  I wanted you to have them.  

Mamoru:  It’s not that…It’s just…[stares at his feet]…I’ve been worried…ever since I found out you were in the fire…I wanted make sure you’re ok… but I’m not sure I know how to ask without sounding like a jerk…

Zoi:  I’m fine. I’ve completely recovered.  The doctors gave me a clean bill of health before they sent me back to school.

Mamoru: That’s not really what I meant.

Zoi:  Then what do you mean?

Mamoru:  Don’t get mad, ok?

Zoi:  Just say what you have to say.

Mamoru:  Well – this is so stupid – I’m sorry Zoi.  Do you remember anything that happened…before… the fire…

Zoi: Oh.  [giggles and gives Mamoru a faint smile to let him know it’s not a taboo subject]

Mamoru: Yeah.  I was…I got kind of shaken when I saw them carry you out. I couldn’t believe…

Zoi:  That I would have ever gone in there of my own free will?

[Mamoru nods]

Zoi: You want to know what happened? Here’s what happened:  I spent Friday night at Umino’s, but then a bunch of the Blackmoons ambushed me after his parents dropped me off at home.  They knew I’d been making trouble for Demande so they gave me something to knock me out, and told me if I didn’t drink it, innocent people would get hurt.  I know they were planning to do bad things to me, but fortunately, they never got a chance.

Mamoru:  Do you have any idea what caused the fire?

Zoi:  [shakes his head] I didn’t even know there was a fire until my mother told me about it, days later in the hospital.

Mamoru:  It’s just… it doesn’t make sense to me that they’d do something like this in the middle of a family reunion.

[Despite Mamoru’s preamble, Zoi’s getting angry]

Zoi: Are you saying I’m lying?

Mamoru:  No—                                                                    

Zoi:  I’m not lying.

Mamoru:  I didn’t say you were.

Zoi:  Who knows why the Blackmoons decided to kidnap me in the middle of a family reunion? That whole family was crazy! [Draws inspiration from a true crime show he saw on TV]  No, actually it does make sense.  If they were planning to dump my body somewhere, a family reunion would provide a perfect alibi.  As long as each of the killers snuck away separately, and covered for one another, they could all find a way to account for their whereabouts for an entire evening.

Mamoru:  You seem pretty calm about it.

Zoi:  Well…All’s well that ends well, right?

[Mamoru won’t meet Zoi’s eyes.  They aren’t even swaying to the music, though Zoi hasn’t removed his hands from his waist and Mamoru hasn’t removed his hands from his shoulders.]

Mamoru:  It is also a bit odd that you were the only survivor.

[Now Zoi is definitely angry]

Zoi:  Wait a minute!  You don’t think I set that fire, do you?

Mamoru: [flushes bright red]  No!  Of course not.

Zoi: [pulls away from Mamoru] Fine!  You got me! I did set that fire!  I woke up that morning, walked fifteen miles and climbed a hill without anyone noticing, just so I could break into the house of the man who, had he lived long enough, was eventually going to get around to raping me! Once I was inside I snuck past all three hundred of his family members that I was plotting to murder for no good reason, so far into the house that I, in fact, got lost and breathed in smoke from the fire I had set myself, until my heart stopped beating!  Good thing the paramedics managed to revive me, since I would have gotten a Darwin Award for sure!

[Mamoru is looking at Zoi now, responding to the passion in his voice]

Zoi: Geez, Mamoru, I thought you were only this much of a jerk to Usagi! Look, I know you probably won’t believe this, but just so you know, I had nothing to do with any of it! All I know is that if it hadn’t been for that fire, I’d probably be very dead right now!

Mamoru: [pained] I know…It’s just…

Zoi:  What!

Mamoru: [puts his hands on his shoulders] Zoi. Nobody thinks you burned down Blackmoon Manor.  We all know it was Esmeraude Blackmoon.

Zoi:  W-what?

Mamrou:  Oh, come on. Motoki told us how she brought out a bomb in Biology class and tried to blow up the school. Next thing you know, Blackmoon Manor burns up with everyone in it.  It doesn’t take a genius to connect the dots here.

Zoi:  Then…. why are you asking me what happened?

[Mamoru looks Zoi straight in the eye] 

Mamoru:  [sighs] Zoi, I want to know what happened, so I know what I could have done to prevent it.  One day, your father wants you to stay away from your house, and the next day you’re on life support with no chance of surviving, and I’d never felt so useless in my entire life.  It almost like your father had a premonition that something bad would happen as soon as you got home.  There was a big red flag, and nobody saw it until it was too late.

Zoi: [taken aback by his sincerity] What could you have possibly done..?  Other than get yourself killed along with me?

Mamoru:  I don’t know, but I would have done something. Nobody should have to go through the sort of horrors you went through alone…If you’re ever afraid for your life, I want you to tell me.  Right away. I don’t care if you think you’re being paranoid.  You need to let me know.  

Zoi: [smiles and feels guilty now that he knows Mamoru meant well] I wasn’t alone.  Kunzite and his mother were there for me.  They really did save my life.

Mamoru:  Ok, but I’ll be watching.  

[Mamoru stares right at Kunzite who is shooting him back a look of menace while still dancing gracefully with Usagi.]

Zoi: [giggles and pats Mamoru’s shoulder] Sorry for giving you a hard time.

Mamoru: [grins with relief]  I don’t mind that much….

Zoi: [smiles] And thanks for caring about me.

Mamoru:  Hey, what are friends for?

[The song ends and Mamoru makes his way back to Usagi.]


	52. Something Better Than a Parfait

[The next song plays, a lot more up-tempo than the one before.  Zoi is yanked from behind by his wrist and smiles to find himself chest to chest with Kunzite]

[They dance close.]

Zoi:  Feeling better?

Kunzite:  [terse] Not really.

Zoi: Don’t be angry at Mamoru.  He was just worried about me.  It’s nothing personal.

KunzIte:  I’m not angry at him. But that doesn’t mean he isn’t irritating the hell out of me.

[Zoi pulls back to look at him.  His voice is serious, but Zoi can detect a hint of a sly grin and a twinkle of merriment in his eyes.]

Zoi: Ooooh….[smiling as he strokes Kunzite’s tie with one finger] Why’s that?

Kunzite:  First of all, he made me break my promise.

Zoi:  [resting his cheek against Kunzite chest and gazing up into his eyes] And what promise is that?

Kunzite:  I promised myself I wouldn’t let anyone steal you away from me tonight. And then that brazen rascal has the balls to poach you, right in front of his girlfriend.

Zoi:  [heaves a heavy sigh and bats his eyes at him] Oh. Well, I forgive you.

Kunzite:  Thanks, but there is something else.

Zoi:  What’s that?

Kunzite:  [frowning deeply] He called you “pretty”.

Zoi:  So?  

Kunzite: You’re beyond beautiful. Saying you’re “pretty” is practically an insult!  Usagi is “pretty”.  You have the sort of beauty that makes random passerby’s feel lucky to be alive, just because they got to catch a glimpse at someone like you.

Zoi:  [giggles] You might be a little biased.

Kunzite: [grins] I don’t think that’s it.  Besides, I have excellent taste. And eyesight.

Zoi:  I know…I know… [winks] It’s the dress, isn’t it?

Kunzite:  [looks Zoi over a bit] That dress does look good on you… but it’ll look even better when I rip it off you and toss it on the floor.

[Zoi gasps in delighted outrage and Kunzite draws him close again and they continue dancing.]

[From a distance Umino watches them dance together, Zoi held very close to Kunzite, and both gazing at each other adoringly, as they twirl around the dance floor.]

Umino:  Look at those two.  They seem so happy together.  It’s like they fall a little more in love with each other every day.

[He wishes Naru would like him that much but he knows it’s a lost cause.  Even as they dance, she won’t even bring herself to smile at him.]

Naru:  [a bit cool, but still gracious and vulnerable] Thanks for asking me to dance.

Umino:  I wasn’t doing it to be nice.

Naru:  [sighs] Yeah.  I know. 

[Naru’s mood darkens and her face is an unflattering mix of gratitude, mild discomfort, and pity.]

Umino:  [sadly] I’m sorry I’m not as cute as Neffy.

Naru:  [Matter-of-factly] You’re cute.

Umino:  I am?

Naru:  Yeah.  Like really cute.  One of the cutest boys in the school.

Umino:  Really?  …Then why do I always get the sense you’re trying to avoid me?

Naru:  Because I am always trying to avoid you.

Umino:  Why?  Because I’m too nice?

Naru: [clucks her tongue is disgust] Oh please.  Not the ‘I’m too nice’ act.  Every creep pulls the ‘I’m too nice’ act.  It just makes you come off as even more of a creep.

Umino:  I’m a creep?

Naru: Uh-huh.

Umino:  Why do you say that?

Naru:  Because you’re creepy.  You do weird things.

Umino:  Huh? Like what?

Naru:  Remember when we were in the fourth grade and I was I was collecting the Mermaid Princess Dolls out of the Happy Meals?  And you went online and ordered all seven of them. Then you snuck into the school, broke into my locker and posed them all inside.  

Umino: [smiles at the memory of one of his finest moments] Yeah, that was cool, wasn’t it?

Naru:  No, that wasn’t cool.  That was scary. It looked like something a serial killer might do… Why do you think I’ve gone out of my way to avoid being alone with you after that?

Umino:  [lowers his head in shame] Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize…

Naru:  Not to mention that the whole fun of collecting those dolls was in opening the box and seeing if I got a doll I didn’t already have. In one day, you completely ruined it for me…And that wasn’t even an isolated incident. Though if it had been, it would have been enough.

Umino:  I just wanted to get your attention.

Naru:  Oh. You have my attention… believe me…Of course, you act that way all the time, around ALL the cute girls, so I used to think you couldn’t help it, because you’re just a colossal spazz. But you seem to have no trouble pulling it together whenever Zoi’s around.

[Naru’s being harsh, but he can’t help but feeling a tinge of joy because he detects a very strong undercurrent of jealousy]

Umino:  Zoi’s my friend.

Naru:  [hurt] I thought I was your friend, too.

Umino:  You are, but I feel comfortable around him.  He treats me like a normal person.  I don’t get the sense he’s constantly judging me.

Naru:  Well, I wouldn’t be judging you, if you’d stop acting weird.

[They face off, but then can’t help but smile at each other]

Umino:  You…really think I’m cute?

Naru: Yeah…

Umino:  Cute enough to go have coffee with?

Naru:  How about Friday?

[Umino smiles bashfully]

Naru:  [holds out her hand] Let’s make a fresh start.  I’ll try to forget all the weird stuff you’ve done in the past, if you try not to do anything weird in the future. Deal?

Umino:  Deal.

[They shake on it, but when Naru’s arm returns to her side, she seems puzzled by a lump in her handbag.]

Naru:  What is in here?  

[Naru screams as she reaches in and pulls out a necklace with an exquisite ruby pendant]  

Naru: OH MY GOD!  THE NECKLACE!  THE NECKLACE! HE GAVE ME BACK THE NECKLACE! [hugs Umino]  NEFFY’S THE BEST!  HE REALLY DOES CARE ABOUT ME!  OH MY GOD!  I’VE GOT TO GET HOME!

[Umino is utterly confused as to what just happened as Naru goes sprinting off like a young gazelle]

Umino:  [sighs]  I guess she’s just not that into me.

[Umino looks back to Zoi and Kunzite to see what they’re up to and just catches sight of them as they stroll off together, out the door to the rose garden.


	53. Happily Ever After

[Scene: Zoi looks up, it’s a perfect evening.  The sky is clear enough to see the moon looming full and bright above them.]

[Kunzite leads him to the rose garden then sweeps Zoi up into his arms and carries him to a bench sheltered by the shadow of a flowering cherry tree.  He sits, with Zoi still cradled against his chest.  Zoi notice how good the moonlight looks in his silvery hair and reaches up to touch a strand of it.]

[Kunzite shifts Zoi until Zoi is straddling him face to face, with his legs bent at his side. Kunzite caresses the back of his calf]

Zoi:  Are you going to explain to me the reason for all this?

Kunzite: [admiring Zoi’s legs] I should think that would be self-evident.

Zoi:  I meant bringing me to the prom.

Kunzite: Oh- well…  

[Kunzite reaches under Zoi’s skirt to caress his backside and growls as his hand encounters about four layers of silk, garter, stays and girdling.  Kunzite raises his skirt and surveys all the corsetry with a frown before dropping Zoi’s skirt.]  

Kunzite: Damn that Beryl. She’s locked up everything tighter than Fort Knox down there.  

Zoi:  I think she knows us too well.

Kunzite:  Then she should know better than to pull a dirty trick like this.

Zoi:  Don’t worry.  I’ll still make you happy.  [winks]

Kunzite:  You always make me happy.  Just by existing.

[Kunzite looks up at the moon]

Kunzite: Twilight.  No matter how perfect the day it always has to end…[smiles]…unless you are a Shitennou, in love with another Shitennou, and then the nighttime stretches on forever.

Zoi:  [kisses Kunzite lightly and then strokes Kunzite’s face] Some things never have to end.

[Kunzite and Zoi kiss and a sudden breeze sends down a flurry of petals.  Zoi giggles as he brushes them from Kunzite’s shoulders.]

Zoi:  So what was the point of bringing me to the prom?  And in a dress, of all things.

Kunzite:  [grins sheepishly]  Well, I had to put you in a dress, since your main objection to the prom seemed to be that you’d feel foolish dancing with me in a tuxedo.

Zoi:  [jabs his shoulder] You know what I mean.

Kunzite: [sighs] I brought you to the prom, because I don’t want you to miss anything.  I want our lives together to be as normal as possible. Just two typical high school kids, falling in love for the first time.

Zoi:  [cuddles against Kunzite with a sigh] And in what strange parallel dimension would I have ever gone to the prom of my own free will?  

[Kunzite just smiles]

Zoi: You know, if you weren’t a thousand times stronger than me, I would have never let you get away with this.

Kunzite: It’s not so bad, you said so yourself.

Zoi: [puts his arms around Kunzite’s neck]That’s because I’m with you.

[They kiss for a while, then Kunzite breaks it off with a slight smile]

Kunzite:  Will you tell me something?

Zoi:  Don’t I always?

Kunzite: [strokes Zoi’s hair] Just promise you’ll tell me.

Zoi: [suddenly uneasy] …fine…

Kunzite:  You seemed honestly surprised I was taking you here.

Zoi:  I was.

Kunzite: And you claim you’re not into crossdressing.

Zoi:  I’m not…[watches as Kunzite absentmindedly caresses the back of his thigh] ..though I’m starting to see it might have certain advantages…

Kunzite:  Then you must have had some other reason for agreeing to get dressed up like this. [looks into Zoi’s eyes] I’m curious, why DID you think Beryl was putting you in a dress?

[Zoi just blushes]

Kunzite:  I mean, it’s not like we sprang this dress on you at the last second and forced you into it.  You were there at all stages of the fittings…  Beryl claims she spent hours on your hair.  She must have spent another hour on your makeup.  You had plenty of time to make a fuss, but you didn’t. Until you found out we were taking you to the prom…What did you think we were doing?

Zoi: [purses his lips and looks away] I don’t want to tell you.

Kunzite: You promised.

Zoi: I know.

[Zoi just sits in silence, his face burning with mortification]

[Kunzite tilts Zoi’s face to look him in the eye]

Kunzite:  What’s the problem?

Zoi: I…I don’t want to scare you off.

Kunzite: You know I don’t scare easily.  

Zoi:  This might do it.

[Kunzite grins]

Kunzite:  Whatever it is, it can’t be half as perverted as the thoughts I have about you, every waking minute.

Zoi: [giggles] It’s not perverted. It’s stupid.

Kunzite: Now I really want to know…  Please?

[Zoi sighs.  Kunzite waits.]

Zoi:  Well…I assumed it was for some sort of occasion…but I didn’t think it was for anything as lame as a human prom.

[Kunzite chuckles at Zoi’s disparaging of the term ‘human’]

Kunzite:  What sort of occasion?

[Zoi looks down at his dress and fidgets a bit with one of the straps]

[Kunzite waits]

Zoi:  [beet red] Ok…I was hoping all this was just your sneaky way of fitting me for a wedding gown.

[Zoi looks away in shame]

[Kunzite’s eyes light up as a dozen emotions play across his face, ending with elation.]

Kunzite:  You’d… put on a wedding gown for me?

[Zoi nods and bits his lip with embarrassment]

Kunzite:  Are you serious?

Zoi:  Yes, I’m serious…

Kunzite:  You’d be willing to be my bride?

Zoi: Ever since I can remember, I’ve always wanted storybook wedding.  In a huge church, with my father giving me away in a beautiful gown, and a gigantic cake, millions of flowers, and a dozen beautiful bridesmaids. Of course all of that was impossible in Phoenix. I would have had trouble rounding up enough people for a civil service… but here…

[Kunzite smiles]

Zoi: Let’s just say, that was one fantasy I had planned on taking with me to the grave… It sounds even more stupid when I say it out loud.

[Kunzite kisses him]

Kunzite:  That’s not stupid at all… There is nothing, and I mean nothing, that would bring me greater joy than what you have just described.

[Zoi smiles with relief, and Kunzite kisses Zoi with great intensity]

Kunzite:  Our wedding will be Hen Tie’s event of the century…people will talk about it for generations…Of course we’ll have to wait until after you finish high school. I have a feeling both of your parents might keel over and have heart attacks if we announce our formal engagement before you get your driver’s license.

Zoi: [giggles] That’s for sure.

Kunzite:  And of course we are already married.  Our souls are bound for all eternity. We have everything but the piece of paper.  

Zoi:  Except nobody knows about it, and we don’t live together, and the law doesn’t acknowledge our union, and–

Kunzite: And you’re really that willing?  So ready for this, to tie yourself to me forever, even though you have so much going for you, and your life has barely started?  So ready to enter the twilight of your life, that you’re ready to give up everything.

Zoi:  It’s not the end, it’s the beginning.

Kunzite:  You have the rest of eternity to be all mine, why would you want to rush into this?

Zoi:  You remember when you told me I don’t see myself very clearly?  You clearly have the same blindness.

Kunzite:  I know what I am….Is that what you dream about?  A life filled with darkness?

Zoi:  Not exactly.  Mostly I dream of being with you forever… I love you more than everything else in the world combined.  Isn’t that enough?

Kunzite:  Yes, it’s enough.  Enough for forever.

[Kunzite lowers him onto the bench and they kiss under the cherry tree, as the moon shines down on them and cherry petals drift on the wind like snowflakes.

THE END


End file.
